Problems at home, what should I do? - Page 2

On March 24 2010 14:59 TheComeback wrote:
How does any of that insinuate that I'm not ready to move out on my own?
I was merely trying to get the point across that this money is my money, therefore wether I want to move out, buy a car, or spend it on strippers it is unjust for them to keep it from me to do as I please. When in fact I have all my finances in order, I save more than I spend, I have a good job, I'm independant, and ready to start my own life in a progressive and organized manner.
Nothing I've said instigates me not being ready to move out on my own, it instigates frustration and anger.

On March 24 2010 14:59 TheComeback wrote:
How does any of that insinuate that I'm not ready to move out on my own?
I was merely trying to get the point across that this money is my money, therefore wether I want to move out, buy a car, or spend it on strippers it is unjust for them to keep it from me to do as I please. When in fact I have all my finances in order, I save more than I spend, I have a good job, I'm independant, and ready to start my own life in a progressive and organized manner.
Nothing I've said instigates me not being ready to move out on my own, it instigates frustration and anger.

On March 24 2010 14:56 EvilTeletubby wrote:
I'm actually amazed at how pretty immature and flat out wrong some of the replies in this thread are. THE WORST THING you can do is lie in this case. Yes, it will get you what you want... in the short term.

Anyways, pwnst4r is the only one here who has a clue, listen to him 100%.

My advice - Yes your mom definitely sounds like a control freak, tbh she would probably be happy if you were her "little baby boy" and she'd have to mother you forever. I can assure you this has NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING to do with the money itself. In fact, I'm telling you this, forget about the money. That's not even the issue here. She is fucking scared to let you go, she is scared to give up some of her control over you. She is scared to let you go out into the 'real world'. She won't say it in so many words, but this is the case.

Anyways. It's pretty cool you have stand-up dad in the picture. IMO -> Arrange to have a "talk" with yourself and your two parents. Sit down, and tell them... you're ready to go out on your own, you're ready to make your own mistakes, you're ready to fuck up, and you're ready to learn how to deal with stuff. Tell her she needs to learn to let go and let you be your own person and do your own thing. TBH I would expect her to cry, I would expect you probably have to yell/shout a few things. The key IMO will be your dad, because if he respects you as a man and knows where you're coming from, he should actually back YOU up.

Do it 'the right way', because your mom will have solace in thinking that she can always be your safety net if you ever need it, and you'll know she's always there just incase (instead of burning bridges).

That's plan A. Plan B is to just say fuck it and go so she knows you're serious. But seriously, try plan A.




Edit - Oh and I do agree with itzme_petey, I think you honestly are not ready to move out on your own (take it from me you don't know completely what you're getting yourself into). But you know what? None of us were ever ready to move out on our own when we did it. No one truly ever is, but hey, that's part of it. That's life.

On March 24 2010 15:04 Manifesto7 wrote:


If all of this is true, then you should be able to move out without the seven thousand dollars. Maybe it will take you a month longer or so, but it looks like you are on track.

You seriously take your mother to court for seven thousand dollars? Really?

On March 24 2010 15:05 TheComeback wrote:
Ah, theres just something that screams well thought out post when I see 10k+ posts. Your advice was extremely well thought out and something I need to think about.I'm sure this whole situation is because she doesn't want to let me go yet, I am the oldest and shes never had to deal with this before yet. The crazy thing is when my mom was 18 she got in her VW bug and drove cross country from Pennsylvania to California, I'm only moving 25 minutes away.
As for the not being ready thing, I agree who really is? But I want to and I'm ready to try (and succeed).

On March 24 2010 15:10 TheComeback wrote:
Ya I understand that and as this thread moved on I think I started understanding more about what the underlying cause is. Ya I'm sure she'll be a nervous wreck, but I'd rather her be a nervous wreck with me somewhere else, than a totalitarian queen with me as her court jester.

On March 24 2010 15:09 Manifesto7 wrote:
To ETT: I guess I shoudl have expanded my thoughts. I agree with ETT about your mother not wanting to let go, and she sees the money as a way to keep you. In the end though, she could cash it out and burn it in the fire pit and it still wouldn't be worth going to court over. In my opinion, family members taking each other to court basically signals the end of any normal relations. Not much is worth that, especially not seven grand.

On March 24 2010 15:16 EvilTeletubby wrote:
That's wisdom speaking though... pretty sure myself and Mani (especially Mani) are the two oldest guys here.