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Okay I'm going to start this with a few disclaimers read carefully so no QQing
1) First, long ass post ahead
2) Any spoilers on this post are most likely images and most of them are likely to be at least slightly NSFW you've been warned I'm not going to mark them individually this is your blanket warning.
3) If any terms such as furfag or other negative terms come up in the comments I'm going to do something I've never done before and ban you from my blog this is not an easy topic for me to talk about publicly don't ridicule it.
In a way it all starts with this image
+ Show Spoiler +
But at the same time I must also back up and go into how I arrived at this point. I've followed a number of artists that draw furries and anthros on deviantart for quite some time now and I've always liked the freedom that they are able to express through this artform. I never really participated in it until recently when a few of my friends started actually calling me "Kitty" in conversation because I act so much like a cat.
I am ADD I get hyper and distracted easily, I can sleep anywhere and for long periods of time. I can sleep through anything, I hear extremely high pitched noises and I'm shy at first then extremely friendly. I act so much like a cat that some of my friends like to tease me about it. So this plus my fascination with this type of art has brought me into looking into it myself.
I originally stayed rather traditional I tried to draw myself in several different ways as a cat varying from an actual cat to a more neko style of a human with ears and a tail. I couldn't get any of these really to "click." Looking at them and drawing them they just didn't feel right. And as a result the initial results were extremely poor:
+ Show Spoiler +
Initially I chalked this up to having little practice with figure drawing or drawing in this style. So as an artist my next response was that I needed more practice. I was surfing through images that I have on my computer because I keep a decent number of "interesting" images for the sakes of trying to draw when I found a bunch of wallpapers I came across while looking for the old TSL DOWN DOWN DOWN wallpaper. They were posted by DoctorHelvetica and I remember initially looking through the folder of women and being disgusted. I'll expand on this in a moment.
Upon looking through these again I found a few that were interesting to look at from an artistic point of view and I started trying to draw them while making them a "furry." And while drawing these females the one posted above just seemed to click in my mind the way that the other male attempts did not. Now this brought up a whole new issue about gender male female and all of that. I came to realize that drawing myself as a cat doesn't express anything since I already act so much like one so I started drawing her as a fox instead.
The original image I was "converting" into the image above.
+ Show Spoiler +
But when I finished it I took a long time just staring at it and wondering to myself about what this image might mean to me. I have a strong connection with my female side, online when my voice isn't readily available or my username is not clearly male or female people tend to assume that I'm female. Back when online roleplaying wasn't just about sex and there was real roleplaying on games such as Dark Age of Camelot I had an easier time playing female characters. People generally found me more engaging and interesting to roleplay with when I played a female rather than a male so the concept of myself being female when it comes to drawing came to express something about my personality and thus became more meaningful.
I decided that I would make the "switch" and represent myself as a female when it came to drawing myself as a fox; because it does so clearly express something inside of me that I have a hard time expressing otherwise. There is a sizable portion of my identity that is clearly female in nature, the way I am drawn to people is more traditionally female about connecting with them on an emotional level instead of the initial physical attraction. Though the female side never has drawn me to be attracted to males it is as if I am a male that goes through relationships like a female while trying to have relationships with females. This leads to problems in that they think I am being phony and only trying to be falsely kind in order to get what I want but it is who I am and it is time to accept that fact.
So basically I have arrived back to where I started, I have come to realize that a major portion of my Identity is female and that it's time for me to embrace it instead of denying it. As I start down this artistic journey of trying to learn a new style of drawing it has also become rather emotional for me as it is now about embracing something within me and finding a way to express it. So the image of the female fox is the end of a realization and the beginning of a journey and I'm unsure where it will take me. The female side of me is what caused such revulsion while looking through the folder of wallpapers labeled "Bitches" because in many of them their face is not shown focusing only on certain parts of their body, or they are naked in provocative poses and generally just demeaning towards women in general and now I realize this is partly the female inside of me lashing out at the way that they are portrayed.
 
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lol i am laughing so hard right now. Thanks for this, you just made my day. 5/5
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Sorry 
I renamed it "girls" recently if that makes you feel any better
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lol it's nothing against you just more towards the way that society looks at this topic in general.
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No, you make fair points.
As far as the furry thing, it's not my cup of tea but I'm into all sorts of kinky shit and i know how it feels for people to look down on you because of your sexual interests. However, I never felt it's something that should be brought into the real world (i.e: wearing a fursuit in public, barking at people) since you'd be an idiot not to expect people to react negatively to that.
As a private lifestyle choice? Go for it.
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Yeah don't expect to see me in a fursuit ever, for me it's more about the artistic expression of a mostly "hidden" part of my identity.
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 5/5 oh wow that was good  .. would rage again!
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I cant see the last pic
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Wow that was fast hang on.
edit: try now
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I was definitely not expecting this. An odd place to post for sure, but good read 
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Yeah I realize it's kind of an odd place but if I'm going to state this publicly in an effort to come to terms with it why put it where nobody is going to see it or where people have no idea who I am.
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after bo peep, aren't we all?
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I'm personally not a furry but I'm also into "special" kinky stuff so I'll just say embrace it and have fun!
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I was expecting a hilarious joke Oh well.
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On February 12 2010 03:59 iCCup.Raelcun wrote:
I am ADD I get hyper and distracted easily, I can sleep anywhere and for long periods of time. I can sleep through anything, I hear extremely high pitched noises and I'm shy at first then extremely friendly.
Are you sure you really aren't a cat? That's almost definitive proof.
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Man... that lexi belle picture is hot...
I've never been that into furry stuff...
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Takes some courage to post this. I mean on he one hand it's the internet that enables this by exposing people to others with the same ideas and allowing communities to form between people who are widely separated geographically. On the other, the internet is a hateful place. Not sure it's the best idea to post something like this outside of the aforementioned communities centered around it. But what do I know. TL is appearing pretty restrained, so that's nice for you. Good luck with identity and all that.
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On February 12 2010 03:59 iCCup.Raelcun wrote:
So the image of the female fox is the end of a realization and the beginning of a journey and I'm unsure where it will take me.
I'm sure it will be a hilarious exciting and entertaining journey. Try to remember you are a human male and not an indiscriminately gendered 50,000 year old Star Goddess Vixen and you should be fine.
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Okay so this was posted after my blog but I'll keep it in mind changed the NSFW pictures to links since I can't change the topic name.
On February 12 2010 08:07 Fireflies wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2010 03:59 iCCup.Raelcun wrote:
So the image of the female fox is the end of a realization and the beginning of a journey and I'm unsure where it will take me. I'm sure it will be a hilarious exciting and entertaining journey. Try to remember you are a human male and not an indiscriminately gendered 50,000 year old Star Goddess Vixen and you should be fine.
lolll I don't think this will be a problem honestly. I"m not about to go around barking at people or wearing tails and making people call me by different names yada yada it's just a form of expressing myself.
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Anything that involves becoming more comfortable with yourself is awesome in my books. Grats for being able to do so!
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Good read, I agree with Seppolevne completely, anything where you are becoming more comfortable with yourself and who you are is good for you.
If you think you may be furry, go talk to people like that. Generally I've found any alt-community is extremely willing to explain everything, listen to your experience and give you advice on where you should go with it.
I've always found the fact that the internet is ok with all sorts of alt-cultures, but when it comes to furry, everyone gets suddenly hostile. I'm not a furry, but I also strongly associate with cats, so I know where you're coming from on this.
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On February 12 2010 09:44 Shiladie wrote:
I've always found the fact that the internet is ok with all sorts of alt-cultures, but when it comes to furry, everyone gets suddenly hostile. I'm not a furry, but I also strongly associate with cats, so I know where you're coming from on this.
Eh. The internet is hostile to pretty much everyone. If you go to 4chan it's not just furries who are being made fun of, it's everyone. The rest of the internet will join in with furries though, because they don't understand it. The internet at large isn't going to join in so hard with racial groups or anything like that because they know people who fall into those categories. Take something they don't have a lot of experience with though, and it's way easier to start making jokes and furfag comments.
As to OP, go hard man. If you start going around in public wearing cat-tails or anything, you're going to have to be ready to put up with some abuse, same as any sub-culture. The privacy of your own house though? Screw it. Your sex life, your business. So long as you understand that you shouldn't go around ramming it down people's throats, whatever you find attractive is your own deal.
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Oh wow... Whether this is serious or not, I kinda understand what you mean by having a female side. Though, honestly, I think the reason most people regard that as "feminine" side is the same way that masculinity has been exaggerated in media, meaning to be "manly" you essentially have to be as close as a human can be to Chuck Norris. Anything outside of that is stamped as feminine. My theory? Most men do have a feminine side, though how significant it is depends on the person.
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lol i always make my characters female in rpgs/MMOs
does that make me feminine? i always thought it was simply because i like girls 0_o
anyways, glad to see someone getting comfortable with themselves.
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bump for good times/memories
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On May 08 2012 03:08 pique wrote:
bump for good times/memories
Geez, how many interesting threads are there in the deepest bowels of TL's history?
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Furry art is in comic culture all the time. Take the time to embrace the artform and see what you can do with it in the future. Nice one Raelcun!
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i46.tinypic.com/209j9yr.jpg)
