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Okay, so this is a girl thread, but not one of those whiny threads or a how do i...? thread. I'm in a bit of a pickle and I don't know what to do so I've decided to leave it up to TL, cuz well.. you guys are awesome.
Anyway, here we go. So I got this new job a few weeks ago, and met a girl there (well several really but only one pertains to this story.) We've been hanging out a bit and I like her she likes me, etc. Problem is, ever since one of my last relationships with a co-worker ended really badly I have a rule that states: do not fuck co-workers. On top of that, she's also had sex with one of my friends. Which directly contradicts the only other rule about dating/fucking that I have: do no fuck girls your friends have fucked. I don't particularly care that she did it, I don't think less of her because of it, it just creates awkward drama when you go places where other men you know have gone.
So, being that I feel the window of opportunity closing soonish I need to make up my mind. Obviously I like this girl a lot, she's fucking awesome and I think she's gorgeous, so I'm considering breaking my rules. So, TL, what should I do? Poll results by the end of tomorrow determines what I do.
Poll: hit it? (Vote): yes (Vote): no (Vote): wat?
p.s I can't provide pics because I don't have any, we just met like a week and a half ago lol, but that shouldn't matter in any case.
tl;dr: look at poll, vote.
   
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
I dunno given the extremely limited perspective I have I just advise that you don't NEW job why risk messing things up or setting up strange assumptions like you are a whore or womanizer when that might not be the case?
Be friends, hang out.. if something happens it happens but don't push it is my opinion.
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On January 07 2010 11:52 stoned_rabbit wrote:
p.s I can't provide pics because I don't have any, we just met like a week and a half ago lol, but that shouldn't matter in any case.
can't you facebook stalk her? Come on, get creative. Er, anywho, if you perform worse than your friend did...it could stay with you for a long long time.
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not enough info.
it's hard to decide without knowing the details of your work enviroment and the attitudes of your particular group of friends. also the girl, but thats less of a problem.
simply: do you want to?
worst case plausible scenario is that you learn a valuable life lesson.
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I think you should ask her out, and see how it goes, because even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried o: And all that can really happen if you do break up is work becomes a bit awkward, but work probably isn't much fun anyway.
But hey, I'm 13 years old, so what do I know.
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Im in this same situation.
In the end just dont get involved. Dont do it.
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United States4796 Posts
I agree. Don't get involved.
Although I must admit...in the future...it will be hard to keep your rules in place...
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Err okay maybe I explained something wrong. Let me expound on a few details here.
1st, the job is just a shitty part time job, not important.
2nd, i'm in... period. I pretty much would not have to try at all.
3rd, perception at work doesn't matter, it's probably the most chill work environment I've ever been in.
4th, this is mostly a personal morals question and is ultimately a decision I have to make myself, but I am really at a loss here, I cannot make a decision. It basically boils down to: go for it and risk a little drama at work and possibly lose a friend (I sincerely doubt it but hey who knows), or don't go for it and don't get laid lol.
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you have two rules, did you plan on following them or not?
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I didnt read the blog, saw the poll, im voting yes ^^
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On January 07 2010 12:14 Duke wrote: you have two rules, did you plan on following them or not?
yes, and I have for about 5 years now. This is the first time I've been tempted like this, and am confused as to what to do. Honestly it's probably going to happen given our tendency to lower our inhibitions together (use your imagination) but this poll will decide whether it happens sooner or later, cuz I want it bad.. but at the same time I fucking HATE drama like this.
Also, to those just voting yes on the poll, thanks lol.
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On January 07 2010 12:24 stoned_rabbit wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2010 12:14 Duke wrote: you have two rules, did you plan on following them or not? yes, and I have for about 5 years now. This is the first time I've been tempted like this, and am confused as to what to do. Honestly it's probably going to happen given our tendency to lower our inhibitions together (use your imagination) but this poll will decide whether it happens sooner or later, cuz I want it bad.. but at the same time I fucking HATE drama like this. Also, to those just voting yes on the poll, thanks lol. Sounds like both of your hearts are set on it, so why not just go for it. Don't let one bad experience in your past f up your future.
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How do you know she isnt thinking your just a booty call too? Who knows maybe she a poll out there somewhere asking if she should "hit it"
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On January 07 2010 12:12 stoned_rabbit wrote: Err okay maybe I explained something wrong. Let me expound on a few details here.
1st, the job is just a shitty part time job, not important.
2nd, i'm in... period. I pretty much would not have to try at all.
3rd, perception at work doesn't matter, it's probably the most chill work environment I've ever been in.
4th, this is mostly a personal morals question and is ultimately a decision I have to make myself, but I am really at a loss here, I cannot make a decision. It basically boils down to: go for it and risk a little drama at work and possibly lose a friend (I sincerely doubt it but hey who knows), or don't go for it and don't get laid lol.
Listent he job doesnt matter, the fact that youre in well thats cool i guess.
The morals of what you are going to do (hit and quit) is beyond disgustingly bad. Once girls find out about this barring them being total sluts they arent gonna want shit to do witha low piece of shit that would do this. You say you like her and yet youre considering fucking her then leaving really? Dont bullshit yourself. What you'll end up doing is hurting someone who sincerely likes you and doesnt want to be done like that.
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On January 07 2010 12:09 arb wrote: Im in this same situation.
In the end just dont get involved. Dont do it. wat you talking bout arb
no one wants to fuck you
maybe if you ask your parents really nicely they'll let you join + Show Spoiler +
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but Yes
if she's that gorgeous sure. If it was someone other than a friend who fucked her it's not any different. Maybe if they dated or something, but yeah. And if it's not a "relationship" then who cares about rule 1?
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On January 07 2010 12:41 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2010 12:12 stoned_rabbit wrote: Err okay maybe I explained something wrong. Let me expound on a few details here.
1st, the job is just a shitty part time job, not important.
2nd, i'm in... period. I pretty much would not have to try at all.
3rd, perception at work doesn't matter, it's probably the most chill work environment I've ever been in.
4th, this is mostly a personal morals question and is ultimately a decision I have to make myself, but I am really at a loss here, I cannot make a decision. It basically boils down to: go for it and risk a little drama at work and possibly lose a friend (I sincerely doubt it but hey who knows), or don't go for it and don't get laid lol.
Listent he job doesnt matter, the fact that youre in well thats cool i guess. The morals of what you are going to do (hit and quit) is beyond disgustingly bad. Once girls find out about this barring them being total sluts they arent gonna want shit to do witha low piece of shit that would do this. You say you like her and yet youre considering fucking her then leaving really? Dont bullshit yourself. What you'll end up doing is hurting someone who sincerely likes you and doesnt want to be done like that.
I never said I was planning on hitting and quitting, I do work with the girl. It would be more like... friends with benefits, and if it evolves into a relationship that'd be fine too, but at the moment the question is whether or not to have sex. I'm not a hit and quit kinda guy, if anything she's more like that than me. Don't come in here throwing around accusations like that.
On January 07 2010 13:08 Grobyc wrote: but Yes
if she's that gorgeous sure. If it was someone other than a friend who fucked her it's not any different. Maybe if they dated or something, but yeah. And if it's not a "relationship" then who cares about rule 1?
Also, it is a little different when it's a friend, there's always that awkward comparison you know she's doing in her head. Then it's kinda like, sup... we both put our dick in the same place lol. Honestly it doesn't really bother me that SHE did it I'm more worried about fucking things up with the friend... if that makes sense? I've been drinking since I got off work so my thoughts are slowly getting a little jumbled lol.
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Is your friend that fucked her before still hung up on her and gonna be all hurt and/or pissed off? If not then go for it. Just respect her and be up front about the nature of your relationship.
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You fucked like one co-worker that's a horrible sample size. Do it in the name of science
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On January 07 2010 13:13 mucker wrote: Is your friend that fucked her before still hung up on her and gonna be all hurt and/or pissed off? If not then go for it. Just respect her and be up front about the nature of your relationship.
I doubt it, he's atm trying to fuck another girl from work. He's pretty chill, but I've known people that seem pretty chill but are actually butt hurt about stuff, but who knows? The question is whether or not I take the chance of him getting butt hurt over it.
On January 07 2010 13:16 Kwidowmaker wrote:You fucked like one co-worker that's a horrible sample size. Do it in the name of science 
rofl, it was actually 3... kinda in a row, probably the biggest source of drama, but regardless. There was also a long relationship that came from that same place (fuck it seems like an orgy now that I think about it lol) and tons of drama resulted from that, causing me to lose that job and several friends over it. I don't THINK that will happen here cuz like there's been 3-4 co-worker "relationships" that I know of and everyone is cool, but you never know.
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I'm wondering why you ever came up with these rules at all seeing as you don't like drama but seem to throw that out the window when someone gets your dick happy. It's your choice in the end but if you're concerned about morals, following base desires probably isn't a good way of upholding them. Most morals are there to persuade against being a hedonist.
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You've got a couple of rules for a reason, right? Really, you need to assess this situation on your own. You know why you have those rules, so do those reasons directly influence this situation? If not, then just go for it, but if so then you had best listen to your rules. Also, score out of 10? The temptation must be high for you to worry over it so much.
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On January 07 2010 13:26 StorkHwaiting wrote: I'm wondering why you ever came up with these rules at all seeing as you don't like drama but seem to throw that out the window when someone gets your dick happy. It's your choice in the end but if you're concerned about morals, following base desires probably isn't a good way of upholding them. Most morals are there to persuade against being a hedonist.
Morality deals with your effect on others. You're describing self-control. If OP and this woman have a career that could be damaged by this then a special consideration of morality should take place, otherwise there is no more moral dimension than having sex with any other woman.
Do it in the name of science OP!
Oh and all rules must be tentative in some way. These rules are even more tentative than others as they are born from a reactionary position.
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On January 07 2010 13:30 numLoCK wrote: You've got a couple of rules for a reason, right? Really, you need to assess this situation on your own. You know why you have those rules, so do those reasons directly influence this situation? If not, then just go for it, but if so then you had best listen to your rules. Also, score out of 10? The temptation must be high for you to worry over it so much.
I do have rules for a reason, well several but yeah. I have assessed the situation on my own and I literally come up 50/50, hence the poll as a tiebreaker lmao.
looks: 8/10 personality: 10/10...
I originally intended this to be kinda light hearted but i guess it turned kinda serious. I dunno, we'll see whats up.
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Just do it, then move on. Then post pictures, lol.
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On January 07 2010 12:15 Scaramanga wrote: I didnt read the blog, saw the poll, im voting yes ^^
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On January 07 2010 14:14 CosmicAC wrote: Just do it, then move on. Then post pictures, lol.
well im kinda drunk and shes coming over, so this will probably happen. will update later, probably not with pictures though (she might be into that haha)
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I've been in your situation many times good sir. I broke my rules too, and I always got owned in the end.
IT'S A TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.
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On January 07 2010 13:07 Grobyc wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2010 12:09 arb wrote: Im in this same situation.
In the end just dont get involved. Dont do it. wat you talking bout arb no one wants to fuck you maybe if you ask your parents really nicely they'll let you join + Show Spoiler + hahahahhahahahahha aaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haha fukn awesome
yea hit it
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She's fucking everyone you know, it seems. Don't you deserve a turn?
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just do it pam and jim did it
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Your rules are boring - get with her, enjoy the ride, everything will be fine.
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PICS! require picsssssssssssssss....
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On January 07 2010 16:55 Piste wrote: PICS! require picsssssssssssssss....
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Dude if you do hit it, then it makes you and your friend eskimo brothers.
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Go for it. You're being way too modest for a stoned_rabbit.
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In order to answer these questions you might have to elaborate a bit more on the girls personalities
-Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
Depending on what she answers for these I might say yes.
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Calgary25981 Posts
Just ask your friend if he cares. If he does don't do it.
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On January 08 2010 02:24 kidd wrote: OP sounds like a "bro"
i am very much not a "bro" lol. so yeah, she just left. poll unnecessary.
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