EPTThis message is problably going to get drowned out in the plethora of "happy new years" spilled across the ether reality that is the internet, I know.. But somewhere it shall be stored, and in a way.. Immortalized.. Somehow that comforts me, in the sense that... I need to tell somebody.. And if you're reading this, then I suppose I have succeeded.
Tonight I left the party celebrating the new year.. I don't know why I did it.. Perhaps it was because of the sleepingquarters.. But I doubt it.. More so, I think it was the way that I (as always) ended up excluding myself from the social circle of unity.. The way that I, even though I was - more than slightly - drunk, ended up excluding myself from them and becoming the "thoughtful quiet (Yet, if you know me well, retarded) guy" as always.. Like that ever got me anywhere..
Perhaps I was meant to be perificial. Always moving at the border, constantly sulking, constantly gazing longingly towards the center, wishing I could be atleast part of the circle. A perfect circle does not need a corner. Does not want it. But a corner I am, always awkward, always stumbling around in a language not quite danish, and never quite english. A language that I tell myself is my own, when I know, that really it's just an excuse for not having anything better to say.
Tonight we write 2010, and as new and amazing that sounds I don't feel any difference. Just the same old life slipping by me. Question is, do I want to grasp it? I wish I did. Thank you.
