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Living to Win at Halo Wars

Forum Index > General Games
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DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-02 07:52:01
March 01 2009 18:47 GMT
#1
The Objective

Earn nothing less than total victory in the Gamestop Halo Wars tournament.

The Research

One warehouse brings in 235 supply per minute.

One blessed warehouse brings in 320 supply per minute.

Three warehouses costs 300 supply, but you must build them one by one for a per minute intake of 705 when all three are done.

Three blessed warehouses costs 975 supply, but you can bless as you build another warehouse for a per minute intake of 960 when all three are blessed. Also note that blessing an existing warehouse is much faster than building a new one. You also have to take into account that, while a warehouse is building, you are unable to add unit production facilities. Blessed warehouses also take up less room in your limited number of base slots. It's not possible to draw any firm conclusions about how to proceed resource-wise without scouting your opponent thoroughly.

Grunt/Jackal/Ghost have an 8 second build time – 7.5 per minute from one facility, 750 supply per minute intake necessary to sustain production.

Hunter/Vampire/Engineer have a 20 second build time – 3 per minute from one facility, 750 supply per minute intake necessary to sustain production.

Banshee have a 15 second build time – 4 per minute from one facility, 800 supply per minute intake necessary to sustain production.

Wraith have a 26 second build time – 2.3 per minute from one facility, 805 supply per minute intake necessary to sustain production.

Locust have a 23 second build time – 26 per minute from one facility, 780 supply per minute intake necessary to sustain production.

Elite have a 20 second build time – 3 per minute from one base, 375 supply per minute intake necessary to sustain production.

Realistically, you're going to have five warehouses, your temple, and one production facility on your main base, producing Elites from your main building and constant units from your production facility. The remaining cash gets spent on tech, expansions, hero attacks, and static defense.

*None of this research was necessary or relevant, because we were playing idiotic, skill-free Deathmatch instead of awesome, standard Skirmish.

The Training

I played the Halo Wars demo for a few hours.

The Diet

The night before the tournament, I went out to the bars and drank a mixture of Guinness and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Then I ate an entire bag of Goldfish crackers and passed out.

The Result

I arrived a few minutes early at the tournament in order to scout the opposition, bringing my roommate along for moral support. The tournament was capped at 32 players; I was expecting a diverse crowd. When I checked the sign up list, however, I noticed that only three other people were foolish enough to face me: a boy of maybe ten years old, a talkative young man with denim shorts, and his friend, a quiet college freshman with greasy hair and a blue flannel shirt. I listened to the two friends chat.

“Yeah, I have a ton of experience with the RTS genre,” Denim Shorts said. “Mostly Starcraft and Warcraft. I always make dark archons and mind control the other guy's units. Oh man, it's so awesome. No one ever sees it coming.” One thing was for sure: I could not lose to this kid. It was victory or seppuku. There was no middle ground.

After watching me warm up, Denim Shorts approached me. “You're going to play Covenant?” he asked.

“Maybe,” I said. “I haven't decided yet.” This was an outright lie. All of my intense training had been done with the Prophet of Regret, mostly against the UNSC. I had assumed any proper Halo fan would want to live out his fantasies of commanding Master Chief.

“I call Captain Cutter,” Denim Shorts said.

“Alright.”

“Alright,” he smirked.

The first game was between Little Kid and Flannel Shirt. I watched Flannel Shirt play and was unconcerned. His entire strategy revolved around dropping in marines to supplement his fighting force. In my experience, jackals and the Prophet of Regret could kill an infinite amount of marines with minimal losses. Little Kid had never played the game before, but he put up an admirable fight as his father looked on.

“Is that your son?” my roommate asked.

“Yeah.”

“We're rooting for him,” I said.

“Why?” the man asked. I motioned to Denim Shorts in response.

“Oh, right,” the man said, understanding immediately. He lowered his voice. “Yeah, I think someone needs to get a job.”

Flannel Shirt won the match after 20 minutes of back and forth action, none of which was very interesting. It was time for my first round match against Denim Shorts. In the game lobby, he switched from Captain Cutter to Sergeant Forge just before I started the game. I sighed. Victory or seppuku—nothing else would suffice. I hated this kid.

I started the game with my hero and immediately moved to take my natural expansion. Denim Shorts did the same, and not long after, he pushed into my natural with a sizable army. I returned to my main to macro and reinforce, assuming that my advantage was in multitasking. I was right. My troops slowly began to overwhelm his army, but he had managed to snipe my hero. My natural was not in good shape. I watched its health bar drain and drain, much in the same way that I've watched with horror as a group of zerglings took down my nexus even as they were surrounded by a superior force. My natural exploded just as I finished off Denim Shorts' last unit, Sergeant Forge.

“Son of a bitch,” I thought. I heard my roommate suck in his breath.

Denim Shorts' natural was online, and if it was heavily-turreted, I was screwed. My only chance was to attack before he could resurrect his hero. I moved into his natural with a force of jackals, elites, hunters, and my resurrected hero, the Prophet of Regret.

In Deathmatch mode, players start with 15,000 supply and full upgrades. This is important to note; the Prophet of Regret has three cleansing beam upgrades, and using the cleansing beam costs supply on a per second basis. I could use my fully-upgraded beam indefinitely.

And so I did. I nuked his natural. I blanketed the landscape with that fucking beam. The earth itself bled as I heaped punishment upon it. I heard Denim Shorts whisper something to Flannel Shirt, but I couldn't make out what he had said.

“I think he just pushed back,” Flannel Shirt replied in a low voice.

A single vulture, the UNSC uber unit, appeared in the sky. I reduced it to rubble in seconds. When Denim Shorts' natural expansion fell, I quickly moved back to my own to rebuild. But there was a UNSC base there, just coming online. Denim Shorts had snuck a single unit behind my lines in order to establish a base there.

"Son of a bitch," I thought for a second time.

It didn't matter. I crushed the base, stuck around long enough to build one of my own, and moved back towards Denim Shorts' natural. Two more vultures were hovering above his new, largely-undefended base. I... cleansed them, taking down his natural a second time. This time, however, I built a base of my own in its place and frantically began to produce warehouses. Using the cleansing beam with such gusto had completely drained my resources. I was running on warehouses alone, whereas it was quite possible that Denim Shorts still had several thousand supply at hand.

When I repelled his attack on his own natural, however, I knew it was over. I walked into his main and secured the win.

Denim Shorts seemed baffled as to what had just transpired. He began pacing back and forth around the consoles, tugging at the hair on the back of his head. He looked at the Gamestop manager for support. “The Prophet is really overpowered,” Denim Shorts said.

“Oh,” the manager said. “Bummer.”

My match against Flannel Shirt is hardly worth mentioning. I crushed him in seven minutes flat, sealing the deal with the Covenant uber unit, the mighty scarab. Flannel Shirt smiled after our game and shook my hand. “Great push, man,” he said. Denim Shorts was still pacing. When the manager handed him a Halo Wars t-shirt, he seemed to come out of his defeat-induced trance. “Well, I guess I won't be getting this game,” he said, with an awkward giggle as he left the store. I couldn't help but smile.

Questions for the Champ?
SayaSP
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Laos5494 Posts
March 01 2009 18:54 GMT
#2
Why are you so fucking good?
[iHs]SSP | I-NO-KI BOM-BA-YE | のヮの http://tinyurl.com/MLIStheCV , MLIS.
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
March 01 2009 18:58 GMT
#3
On March 02 2009 03:54 SayaSP wrote:
Why are you so fucking good?

That's a great question, and I wish there was a simple answer. The unpleasant truth is that a lot of training goes into my awesomeness. I work at it. Nothing in this world comes easily. Natural talent and dashing good looks just aren't enough anymore. God, I need another beer. Next question.
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
March 01 2009 19:03 GMT
#4
what did you win ?
Volshok
Profile Joined August 2008
United States349 Posts
March 01 2009 19:03 GMT
#5
Do we pay you by the minute or by the hour to be trained by the greatest of RTS players?
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=123657
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
March 01 2009 19:06 GMT
#6
On March 02 2009 04:03 Boonbag wrote:
what did you win ?

Another excellent question. I won a t-shirt that is two sizes too big and a copy of the Halo Wars Collector's Edition.
MuR)Ernu
Profile Joined September 2008
Finland768 Posts
March 01 2009 19:07 GMT
#7
why play halo wars when you could play good games. Like starcraft.

Sell your xbox360 and get a decent pc :d
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
March 01 2009 19:09 GMT
#8
On March 02 2009 04:03 Volshok wrote:
Do we pay you by the minute or by the hour to be trained by the greatest of RTS players?

It's by the hour, and I don't even talk about RTS games until the fourth hour. The first two are devoted to talking about myself, with a comprehensive examination on the subject of me taking place during the third.
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9950 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-01 19:15:01
March 01 2009 19:14 GMT
#9
nice to see you became succesful at another game

too bad starcraft never really worked out for you, etter
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
Scooter
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States747 Posts
March 01 2009 19:23 GMT
#10
Can I use some of your semen to produce a new breed of Aryan commanders?
My unblocks gets yo curleh mustache wet のωの
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-01 19:29:31
March 01 2009 19:29 GMT
#11
On March 02 2009 04:23 Scooter wrote:
Can I use some of your semen to produce a new breed of Aryan commanders?

That's an interesting question, and I'm glad you asked it. I've already donated my tiny swimmers to upwards of seventeen sperm banks around the United States, Canada, and Belgium. Though I'll never be able to claim them as my children, I like to think that they're out there, being approximately half as awesome as I am, which is still pretty awesome. I'll be happy to donate a couple gallons of my love juice to a worthy cause such as yours. Just give me a few hours to produce it all.
CTStalker
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Canada9720 Posts
March 01 2009 19:34 GMT
#12
On March 02 2009 03:47 DJEtterStyle wrote:

The Diet

The night before the tournament, I went out to the bars and drank a mixture of Guinness and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

[/b]
only a champ knows how to delicately mix the cultured and the base into his diet effectively. recipe for scuccess
By the way, my name is Funk. I am not of your world
Not_Computer
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada2277 Posts
March 01 2009 19:44 GMT
#13
You are so awesome.
"Jaedong hyung better be ready. I'm going to order the most expensive dinner in Korea."
Tsagacity
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States2124 Posts
March 01 2009 19:54 GMT
#14
What flavor Goldfish did you eat? I think that must be the secret.
"Everyone worse than me at video games is a noob. Everyone better than me doesn't have a life."
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
March 01 2009 19:59 GMT
#15
On March 02 2009 04:54 Tsagacity wrote:
What flavor Goldfish did you eat? I think that must be the secret.

Another excellent question. Despite being so revolutionary, I'm something of a traditionalist. I go for the standard, bright orange, cheddar variety. You have to respect the old before seeking out the new. Or something.
omgbnetsux
Profile Blog Joined April 2004
United States3749 Posts
March 01 2009 20:03 GMT
#16
On March 02 2009 04:59 DJEtterStyle wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 02 2009 04:54 Tsagacity wrote:
What flavor Goldfish did you eat? I think that must be the secret.

I go for the standard, bright orange, cheddar variety.

Only the giant sized cartons are acceptable though.
SayaSP
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Laos5494 Posts
March 01 2009 20:03 GMT
#17
Oh damn you got the game as a prize
[iHs]SSP | I-NO-KI BOM-BA-YE | のヮの http://tinyurl.com/MLIStheCV , MLIS.
kAra
Profile Joined September 2004
Germany1440 Posts
March 01 2009 20:26 GMT
#18
ahah really fun read, even though halo wars looks more like a joke than a game
mada mada dane
DhakhaR
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United Kingdom721 Posts
March 01 2009 20:47 GMT
#19
ive played the demo once and am pretty certain a few of my friends will be buying the game. Naturally i would like to follow your lead and use SC based skills to crush them. so a few game based questions.

How early are you taking your natural?
Is it worth picking up the blue boxes?
Which upgrades matter and which dont?
Dknight
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States5224 Posts
March 01 2009 20:48 GMT
#20
how will it feel when I crush you in drinking in August?
WGT<3. Former CL/NW head admin.
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