EPTFor the past 5 months I've been talking to this girl, we kind of were attracted to each other at first sight. So anyway I was behind in school(virus crippled me) and I could not date her. Anyway, she apparently really really liked me at the time. And I to her.
However I was still an emotional wreck, after having my Grandfather pass away only a month prior to meeting her. So anyway, this girl is relativly cute and funny. And we talked alot when we first met.
So here comes summer, finally I get away from everything busy(including SC which I played religiously) and wanted more with her. Come to find out, and I had knew this prior to summer. She does not like having boyfriends during summer. "Ok thats fine" I thought, while knowing I still had to wait 2 months now.
As time passes, we talk more and sometimes less. Still I feel extremly happy whenever I see her, as If I felt the need to be with her. So, during late july and early august we started having some "fights" if you will, over retarded shit, mainly to do with her friends. However I noticed that there was a change in her feelings towards me. So I would ask now and then, and apparently it would get annoying and make her upset. However she always told me that she did in fact like me.
Ok, time moved on. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I loved talking to her, and I abhored leaving her after a day of hanging out. Come to find out she now has exalted another guy above me, my friend John, ok I know his way with women, he can't hold on to them and he views them as sex objects. So tonight, I felt as though I should tell her how I Felt. Here is what happens :
Her returned at 12:04:42 AM.
TheeMiz: back, and just got your message
TheeMiz: and yeah.
Her: okkkkkkkk.
TheeMiz: and by yeah i am referring to this "but nick if i said no....would you stop talkin to me? cause you said "its been a great time with you"
TheeMiz: i still dont understand though
Her: understand what that means?
TheeMiz: no
TheeMiz: Look, if you like him more, go for him.
TheeMiz: I let you know how I feel
TheeMiz: I don't know if he feels the same way
TheeMiz: which will make me feel like shit
TheeMiz: if he doesn't like you
Her: you said "if you dont then its been a great time with you"
Her: whats that mean
TheeMiz: the way i do
TheeMiz: it means that
TheeMiz: if you want him
TheeMiz: go to him
TheeMiz: and its been a lesson learned to me
Her: a leason learned?
TheeMiz: yeah
TheeMiz: i told you i loved you and i meant it
TheeMiz: either way
Her: whats that mean? what leesson?
TheeMiz: me getting the courage to give you my heart that night
TheeMiz: was alot
TheeMiz: so everything that i've gained through you
TheeMiz: will help me in prior future
TheeMiz: the only thing is
TheeMiz: i really liked you
TheeMiz: at the end of the school yr
TheeMiz: i just couldnt
TheeMiz: go out with you
TheeMiz: i was too fucking far behind
TheeMiz: and i now regret it
TheeMiz: to all hell
TheeMiz: Your the first girl i've loved
TheeMiz: And the only thing that pisses me off
TheeMiz: is that when i ask john if
TheeMiz: he likes you
TheeMiz: he fucking says
TheeMiz: no
Her: brb
TheeMiz: and shit
Her: backk
Her: and i just read everythin
TheeMiz: read everything about?
Her: read everythin you just said
TheeMiz: yeah
TheeMiz: well
TheeMiz: its in your hands at this point
TheeMiz: for the past 4 days
TheeMiz: i was literally just trying to gather the courage to tell you
TheeMiz: everything
TheeMiz: and i still havent
TheeMiz: Do you want to hear it?
TheeMiz: i got alot out that night but..
Her: yeahh....write it in one paragraph though
TheeMiz: ok i'll start from start till end
TheeMiz: When I first saw you, I don't know what it was, but I really felt something towards you, other than you just being really cute in my eyes. When I first talked to you, I felt like I knew you for like a year. I completly lowered my guard. I talked with you as much as I could, and thought about you alot. With so much work to be made up in school, I couldn't go out with you. And I really hate myself for that. Eventually Summer came, and my feelings grew stronger. I would see you now and then, and every single time I would feel happy just upon seeing you. I love hearing you laugh, and I love your smile. I love when you criticize me and or joke with me. All this stuff would happen at Carissa's / over the phone. Every time I call you, I usually choke after my intro. Eventually I go paranoia and began to think you didn't like me and my humor began offensive i guess...
TheeMiz: so I began annoying and even I could see that, We had our ups and downs, but every down I got angry and ultimately i got angry at myself because of how i felt towards you. I felt like shit that night I heard you were mad at me, and I felt like shit when i removed you from my top, and got angry at you and sarah. But every time, walking home I would think of you and I would feel happy, every time i went to sleep I would think of you, even if it was short, I still would. For the past few days I've been talking to Jose about you, and he agrees that Im in love with you, he knows its hard for me to tell you and so i've been trying
TheeMiz: not to screw up how i feel. I love everything that i know about you, even when you get angry I think it's cute ... And when I talk to John and ask him if he likes you he says "no" which makes me feel like your an object in his eye... and I don't want to see that happen to you. I love you Laura, your the first person to cheer up my life since my grandfather died... I really honestly from my heart, love you.
TheeMiz: But to know you like John, then I hope if you choose him that it works out better for you in the end, :-) . It'll have been great for me. And I thank everything for it.
TheeMiz: Just Know that, I don't think he feels for you half the way i do.
Her: nick when you say that im an object in his eye, whats that mean?
Her: nick
TheeMiz: all he fucking says is
TheeMiz: "i'd fuck her"
TheeMiz: and it disgusts me
TheeMiz: he tells me he doesn't like you
TheeMiz: but he'd fuck you
TheeMiz: wtf is that
TheeMiz: thats not love
TheeMiz: thats not liking someone
TheeMiz: i told you i'd go out of my way for you no matter what
TheeMiz: he'd do shit
Her: ohh. and when you said you got mad at me and sarah,,,,when and why did you?
TheeMiz: that day
TheeMiz: that i removed you from my top
TheeMiz: i felt so bad
TheeMiz: i wanted to call you and say sorry
TheeMiz: so much
TheeMiz: but you were with her so
TheeMiz: i let it go
This then persists into her asking me alot of questions, mainly which seem neutral but not great nor good. We have to talk tomorrow, since this is driving me nuts.
However, what is the biggest way to convince her how I feel / prove to her the other guy wouldn't treat her like I would...?
Many of you are going to respond with "its not love". Then you explain what my words are. Or give me a word to replace it.
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