EPT
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At Red Bull Battle Grounds,
Golden concluded his career as a professional gamer. The journeyman Zerg played StarCraft 2 since 2010, and was one of the first Korean progamers to look for opportunities abroad in international teams. He achieved his goal of winning a championship at Red Bull Training Grounds earlier this year, an accomplishment that would lead to his decision to retire.You announced your retirement the night before Red Bull Battle Grounds. How long ago did you make up your mind to retire?
My goal as a gamer was to win at least one championship. When I won Red Bull Training Grounds, I thought I had reached my goal, and I told myself I would prepare hard for Battle Grounds to end it.
Others might take that championship as a reason to keep on going. Why did you decide to retire?
I'm not in a situation where I can keep being a gamer – since I'm a Korean gamer I have to think about military service. And I did have some desire to return to my studies as well. More than anything, I had achieved my dream as a progamer, and I decided that there was nothing more for me to do so I retired.
How was the experience of being a progamer?
I don't think at all that experiencing esports was a bad thing. Looking at my friends, there's people who just went to high school normally and went to college to study something they didn't even want. I did what I wanted to do, and I gained a lot from it, so it was a good experience.
What are some important lessons you learned, or experiences you had as a progamer?
I didn't know how to speak English at all at first, I just knew my ABCD's. I think it was great that I learned some English by living in the US for about seven months and going to a lot of other countries. I also had a lot of unique experiences that you couldn't buy with money.
What are your happiest memories then, aside from winning tournaments?
After I announced I would retire, and I lost the series to Scarlett at this tournament and was eliminated.
When you're in the booth, you can feel who the crowd is cheering for. When the game started, there was a lot of cheering for Scarlett, and not so much for me. I typed "gg, goodbye" to leave the game at the end, and the fans gave me a big cheer. At that moment, I felt really good, and thought that it was good that I had played the game.
What was tough about being a progamer?
I can't think of a particular period that was difficult for me, but in general the fact that you have to win against another human being, not yourself, made things difficult.
Was it fun playing the game? Or were you playing because you enjoyed the winning part of it.
Honestly I played mostly to win, and I got very stressed when I lost. There were some periods when I really enjoyed the game, and those were the periods when I got the best tournament results.
So getting results was a source of pressure?
I started feeling pressure about results when I began to gain some recognition as a player, when I got fourth place at HomeStory Cup. That's when I started feeling some pressure about results. Results were directly related to my pay, and my pride got hurt when I couldn't perform. After that, I really started to play for the sake of winning.
Was the reason you looked toward foreign teams, starting with LighT because you wanted to have more varied experiences in your career?
When I was on SlayerS, I really didn't have good results, and I really wanted to compete in international tournaments, so I decided that I would join a foreign team. When I returned to a Korean team in Startale, it was because I wanted to improve my skill level again – of course, Quantic disbanding played a big part too.
Looking back, I think that choosing to go abroad may have been my best choice in my gaming career.
Is it kind of suffocating, kind of depressing to just stay in Korea?
In Korea, there's just one StarCraft 2 tournament right now, and the situation was similar back then as well. Losing one map could mean you had to wait three months for another chance. That situation was really frustrating. Seeing other players go abroad and doing well, I thought to myself that I wanted to do that, too.
While some Korean players are able to make that big decision to go abroad, most other players aren't that decisive and just keep going in the pattern they're used to. Why do you think it's that way for Korean players?
Like, there's a lot of players you look at and think 'with that kind of skill, they could definitely succeed abroad.'
Players typically enjoy gaming in an environment they're used to. Also, when you go abroad you have to use English to communicate with people, and some find that to be a huge hassle.
I don't think that's a good way to go about it.
Personally, I think it would be a great experience for pros if they could experience a foreign team at least once.
What do you think about StarCraft 2 in Korea? The mood doesn't seem that great.
That's true, but I think a lot of the fans went to games like LoL and Dota2 because they were more fun. If the game becomes more fun, I think the fans will naturally return.
If there was no military service to worry about, would you have gone on being a progamer?
If there was no mandatory military, I would have kept going on as a progamer for the duration of service, about two years? But recently, StarCraft has just been very difficult for me. Even if I had continued on, I would have had taken a break to rest, and then returned to being a progamer.
Do you have any advice to teens who want to become progamers?
Play Protoss! (laughs)
But seriously, it's not an easy thing to do. But it's definitely something worth taking one shot at. It's better than giving up at something you want to do, just because of the way other people are going to look at you. It's better to try and regret than not try at all.
Any regrets? Like points in time you think you should have tried harder, or some really unlucky moments in tournaments?
I just regret that I can't take my current skill back to the GSL Open days. I would dominated the SC2 world! (laughs) I think "why didn't I realize these things back then?" and regret it a little.
But there's nothing to gain from regretting things in the past, so I try not to look back at things that way. I think I did good.
You said you were interested in returning to your studies. Any fields you are interested in?
It's hard to say just now. If I do go to school again, I want to go to the US, after the military.
Other players stick around in esports as coaching staff or in some other capacity. Did you think about that?
I don't have any thought of returning as a player, but if there's an opportunity then maybe I could be a streamer? Or if I get better at English later, maybe a caster? So maybe a return is possible.
But at least for the next three years, I don't think I'm going to be around in esports. Even if I returned then, I feel that a lot of people will have forgotten me.
Some gamers feel that they are limited by their mechanics, and could maybe do better in a strategy game that was less mechanically demanding. How about yourself?
Out of all the gamers, I have some of the fastest hands. But I'm just not that smart, so I didn't do well (laughs). Or maybe because it was I lacked patience? I don't really know.
If a game comes out and I end up liking it and play it a lot, a return is... ….I guess not that likely (laughs).
If there's an opportunity, in the future I suppose I can decide then? It's too early to say something now.
If you had fast hands, then how were you at Brood War?
I was really bad at Brood War. The reason that I think I have fast hands but a dumb head is because I played Terran in BW, Terran is really good if you have fast hands. But I was just really bad at BW, so it made me think 'ah, I don't have a head for this.' I was really fast even since BW.
You were on a lot of teams in your career. What was good about each of them?
SlayerS was the biggest team I was on, and Jessica took good care of us. I got to grow close with players like Boxer, MMA, Alicia, and so forth.
The team I got the best results on was LighT, but I didn't leave LighT in the best way, because I was trying to go to a different team. So I'm sorry to our manager Duran (Xeris) for that.
The team wasn't in the best situation at that time, but it seemed to get better later after I left and they acquired some new players. I think my time on LighT was the happiest; I was getting good results and I got to go to America for the first time.
What are you going to miss the most about progaming?
Going abroad a lot. I've met a lot of people in this industry, and I have to wonder if they'll remember me later. Even if I come back in the future, are they still going to be around?
Okay, any final comments?
Whether it's Korean fans or international fans, thanks to everyone who cheered me on. If I come back somehow, I hope we can meet in a good way. But, I think it will be unlikely you will see me again in esports.
If I do, see you then!
