[Song] Dan (Stan Parody) ft. Smix and Suspense!!

I wrote this down so people not very familiar with the original text by Eminem can appreciate all the work that must have went into this cover version. Feel free to update the original post because once I saw it line by line it's even more impressive than it already was.

Chorus:
My rank's gone down I'm wondering why I...
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
Booted up the game at all
got out of bed at all
Angry BM fills the chat window
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't play at all
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be cheese
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
But your BO on my wall
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad
it's not so bad..

Dear IdrA, I Pmd you but you still ain't replied
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my B Net Address and my character code inside
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent 2 PMs back in beta, they musta not arrived
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got him
I was so proud, but sad inside when you were beating Clide
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I get excited and misspell names when I'm chattin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot him
Anyways, F it, what's been up, man? What's Grackalackin?
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
I've been playin Starcraft too I'm bout to be Masters
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I make a smurf account, guess what Imma call it...Imma name it Gracken
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her... I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about what Jinro did to you, that kinda sucks man
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend who quit the game after someone 3 Rax rushed him
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
You prolly hear this every day...but you're the greatest Z
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got some Brood War replays when you played as T
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a folder full of your replays and your B.Os man
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I liked the games you played in GSL, that shit's 'S Class'
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man. Hit me back
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
I'm in chat, truly yours, your biggest fan... This is Dan...
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan... This is Stan...

Chorus

Dear Greg, I checked my inbox and it still is empty
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's BM that you don't GG
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna play after the tourney really quick
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
That's cool, but you could have at least played a game with Nick
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's like my brother, man. He's 26 years old
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the Blistering Sands for you for 4 hours and you just said "No"
We waited in the blistering cold for you, four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty ‘tasteless’ man, he treats you like his Guru
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol
He wants to play just like you man, he macros just like you do
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad, I'm really not the type to "boohoo"
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met at Blizzcon, you said if I messaged you, you'd hit me back
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you you would write back
See, I'm kinda like you in a way, I never miss my Larvae neither
see I'm just like you in a way, I never knew my father neither;
I outmacro my opponents and beat em
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to how you’re playing in your games
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I load your stream and then press play
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cuz I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I be stressed
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a picture of your face up on my desk
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even rush my friends to brush up on my cheese
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
cuz that 3 minute mark...all-ins are such a sudden rush for me
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
Everything you do is pro, and you're so focused when you're preppin'
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My practice partner's jealous cuz I talk about you 24/7
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But he don't know you like I know you, Grack, no one does!
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
He don't know what it was like for people like us ranking up
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta reply, man. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
PS Me, you and Nick should 3v3 together too
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S. We should be together too

Chorus

Dear MR. “I'm Too Good To Cheese or Change My Strats”
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
This will be the last replay I ever send you, Grack!
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been 8 months and still no word, I don't deserve it
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you read my last 2 emails, I wrote the subject headers perfect
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So here's some casts I'm sending you, I hope you see them
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in your game right now… Oh surprise, you BMd
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Grack, you just lost all your banelings, where's your supply?
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
Remember that thread up on TL by some angry guy
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about why Protoss was OP by everyone that used them?
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
And how you never even say GG when you be losing?
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's nothing like this is, but you coulda rescued me from losing
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
now it's too late, I'm down a thousand ladder points now and cruising
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy message, or a game
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures out the frames
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I loved you Grack, we coulda played together, THINK about it
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't win and you DREAM about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
and when you STREAM I hope it just lags and you RAGE about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscious RAPES you and you can't PLAY without me
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
Hey Gre...Shut up Noob, I'm tryin to cast!
See Slim...Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Grack, that's my Queen that's screaming in the back
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
But her energy is full, I never use her, see I ain't like you
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cuz if she poops some creep, We’ll just lose faster, than I'll dive too
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, my comps about to crash now
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh crap, I forgot..how am I supposed to send this cast out?
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

Chorus

Dear Dan, I meant msg you sooner I've just been busy
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said you had a partner now, what division is he?
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered that you'd name your ID that
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
Here's a build order for Nick, I wrote it down here all in caps
and here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm really sorry that I took so long just to PM you
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
don't think I did that shit intentionally just to BM you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
And what's this stuff where you said about you like to use some cheese too?
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I did that once in GSL, come on, how bronze league is you?
I say that shit just clowning dog, c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Dan, I think you need some coachin
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help you from falling down the rank when using only roaches
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to team together?
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit don’t make me not want us to play each other
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your partner need each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
And maybe that can make you even better
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to see this message...I just hope it reaches you in time
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt your rank, you guys will be doing just fine
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
If you change your strat a little, I'm glad I inspired you, but Dan
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
Why are you so bad? Try to understand that I DO want you as a fan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I saw this one thread on GomTV a couple weeks ago that made me sick
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some kid “all-ined” every game and always lost
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
Dropped a couple leagues, got mad anf finally he switched to Toss
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
In his posts they found a cast, didn’t say who it was to
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it..his name was..it was you...Damn
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you... Damn!

[Song] Dan (Stan Parody) ft. Smix and Suspense!! - Page 22

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