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Self Surgery - Page 7

Forum Index > General Forum
Post a Reply
Prev 1 5 6 7 8 9 14 Next All
iNfeRnaL *
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
Germany1908 Posts
March 06 2009 11:31 GMT
#121
R O F L .
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
March 06 2009 11:36 GMT
#122
wow dude, you're retarded lol
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
March 06 2009 12:01 GMT
#123
It's interesting that you're pre-med and you thought this would be a good idea.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
integral
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States3156 Posts
March 06 2009 12:30 GMT
#124
lol post of the week definitely
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
March 06 2009 12:58 GMT
#125
On March 06 2009 14:12 iNCuBuS_ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 06 2009 14:04 Etherone wrote:
XDXDXD lmao, you were going to use SALT to help stop the bleeding XDXD wtf please tell me that was sarcasm


epic win though tequila solves everything

I just googled it to make sure it was correct, and apparently it is...

1. Salt and water- Take a small cup mix up some warm water and salt together. Place this onto a rag making sure it's pretty saturated. Then keep blotting the cut with this solution. The bleeding will stop after 2 minutes or so. It will not burn you at all.

Except that salt is so fucking painful that it is also used to torture people.
/facepalm.
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
March 06 2009 13:42 GMT
#126
^ Yea I was wondering how the fuck salt wouldn't burn the wound. Salt will molest that wound.

I wonder if he's done it yet? I saw this thread around 7pm last night and its already going to be 8am. I told him not to do it.
ya had ya shot kid!
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
March 06 2009 14:21 GMT
#127
awesome dude! pics or it didn't happen.
pandabearguy
Profile Joined June 2008
United States252 Posts
March 06 2009 14:23 GMT
#128
On March 06 2009 21:01 Divinek wrote:
It's interesting that you're pre-med and you thought this would be a good idea.

pretty much exactly this
aka [ucr]pandabearg. much <3
Night[Mare
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Mexico4793 Posts
March 06 2009 20:28 GMT
#129
what an hilarious scene you've just described. i loled
Teamliquidian townie
Rho_
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States971 Posts
March 06 2009 20:31 GMT
#130
On March 06 2009 21:01 Divinek wrote:
It's interesting that you're pre-med and you thought this would be a good idea.


I'd go with scary instead of interesting.
3 Lions
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States3705 Posts
March 06 2009 20:34 GMT
#131
On March 06 2009 23:21 nttea wrote:
awesome dude! pics or it didn't happen.

with spoiler pleease
DreaM)XeRO
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Korea (South)4667 Posts
March 06 2009 20:35 GMT
#132
ah...
oh dear me
that must've been painfull
but..for a pre-med student
did you honestly think that it would work?
cw)minsean(ru
Badjas
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Netherlands2038 Posts
March 06 2009 21:14 GMT
#133
LMAO ^_^ Thanks for sharing man! building character indeed lol. Hope for you that seals the deal.
I <3 the internet, I <3 you
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
March 06 2009 21:17 GMT
#134
wow dude... you got owned. NOW are you going to see a doctor? lol
SuperJongMan
Profile Blog Joined March 2003
Jamaica11586 Posts
March 06 2009 21:21 GMT
#135
Character building mission accomplished.
SUCCESS!
POWER OVERWHELMING ! ! ! KRUU~ KRUU~
caelym
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6421 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-06 21:32:13
March 06 2009 21:31 GMT
#136
On March 07 2009 05:35 DreaM)XeRO wrote:
ah...
oh dear me
that must've been painfull
but..for a pre-med student
did you honestly think that it would work?

it did work... whether it's the smartest decision is another question

though i'm with the pics or it didnt happen sentiment; this sounds too hilarious to be true
bnet: caelym#1470 | Twitter: @caelym
TheOvermind77
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States923 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-07 03:13:12
March 07 2009 03:10 GMT
#137
So, I have an update for you guys...the rest of the story.

If you want a one line summary:

DON'T EVER DO THIS!

SO!

THAT NIGHT:

I thought I stopped the bleeding. And then my girlfriend calls and wants to come over.

So I'm like OK, all is clear, gauze is on there, I'm fine.

We go to eat some dinner, and we come back and I want to check on the status of my self-fail-surgery. I lift up the gauze and it started gushing blood. So, my girlfriend looked at me and she was like "OH MY GOD!" And my response was similar to the one this guy gave...

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


So I try to put pressure on it and keep it clean. I use more alcohol, and she starts freaking out, I told her to give me thirty minutes.

So two hours later I still hadn't gotten it to stop, and I was also filling a bit lightheaded because my blood volume had gone down just a hair, so I chugged some water to start helping it get back up. Pressure was stopping the bleeding, but it wouldn't clot.

So I went to Walgreens to get a styptic pen.

+ Show Spoiler +
OH, too bad, they were out.
[image loading]


Oh, what's that? You don't carry styptic pens and I need a prescription for Silver Nitrate?! FML!

My girlfriend yells at me until I agree to go to an emergency room.

So we get there around midnight and the waiting room is like this:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Nurse says the wait time is six and a half hours. Hell, I think, by then the Walmart will be open and I can go buy some styptic.

So I consider self-cauterization. Then decide against it, as burn wounds have a pretty high chance of infection without clinical-grade sterilization.

So I buy some saline wash, scrub the wound with alcohol, rinse it with pressurized saline wash, and then gauze it for the night. Girlfriend isn't too happy.

NEXT MORNING

I lift the gauze. No bleeding, except that the clot is now integrated with the gauze. So I try to rinse it off with saline and...pop, there goes the clot, and now it's like this:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


So I gauze it and rush my ass to an immediate care center (which is like an emergency room for cases that aren't TOO much of an emergency).

I tell the doctor I was a dumbass and messed with a hemangioma. I show her the gauze pad and tell her that it is going to bleed if I remove it.

"Go ahead, remove it."
"No, it will bleed a lot."
"It's fine."
"You need gloves."
"Just take it off."
(I take it off)
"SHit I need gloves."
(Hands me gauze)
"Apply pressure. Uh, kelly, do we have a cauterizing device in the trauma unit? No? Do we have any silver nitrate?"

She goes and looks for ten minutes for the stuff while I'm laying down, cursing my luck. She finally finds some, scrubs my wound, puts on silver nitrate, a non-stick bandage, some gauze and tells me to leave it alone for 24 hours. She also says that I need to get it lasered sometime, because it might bleed again. She also gives me a tetanus shot for the hell of it.

Called dermatologists earlier today, all of them have wait times in the excess of two-three months.

So I got some styptic and antibacterial spray and I'm going to have to make do until my appointment. I haven't removed the bandage yet but I hope it won't bleed anymore!

SOOOOO

Lesson has been learned. Just because you think you might know how to do something doesn't necessarily mean you know how, or even if you do (I sort of, as in slightly knew what to do) you probably don't have the tools to do it.

Fun day.
Awaken my child, and embrace the glory that is your birthright. Know that I am the Overmind; the eternal will of the Swarm, and that you have been created to serve me.
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
March 07 2009 03:13 GMT
#138
bro your stories are interesting. I wish my r/l friends would pull this prank.
ya had ya shot kid!
Durak
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Canada3684 Posts
March 07 2009 03:17 GMT
#139
Great story. I'd love it if you bumped the thread with the conclusion in 2-3 months. Hope there's no scarring and your girlfriend doesn't lose faith in your medical skills.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
March 07 2009 03:19 GMT
#140
You are my fucking hero.
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
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