EPTMost people who have followed my stream since the beginning, or at least late 2011/early 2012 know that I tried to be a professional SC2 player long before I even dreamed of casting. I practiced 8-10 hours every day for about 8 months, especially during the summer of 2012. I spoke to many small clans and other streamers about ways to improve, but often found myself lacking direction or help in making my practice efficient. Trying to be a progamer is easily the most frustrating task I've undertaken in my life, far beyond giving speeches in a courtroom or playing in a championship Basketball or Football game.
I would often message pro players and teams simply begging for a chance to be on a practice squad, so that I could get some help or be told what was wrong with my mindset that made my practice so inefficient. I tried a variety of different hardware setups, thinking I could fake enough confidence to play better naturally, but ended up hurting myself by using equipment that didn't really fit my smaller hands (Switching to a steelseries Sensei is the worst thing I ever did to my micro ;-; ), and led me to making excuses about how hard it was to get any help.
I had casted a few cups for my managing organization when I was growing as a streamer(the organization being Realm eSports), and was told that I had potential. I disregarded these statements as the competitive side of me yearned for far more than simply chatting about the game. I didn't really want to cast, until I saw it as my only way to succeed in eSports.
I spent most of my income from streaming/playing on rent/food while I was in university at the time, taking care of my immediate costs while insurance/financial aid covered my tuition(My house had burned down a few years back, took a long time to settle the claim, and I received a lot of government aid for financial issues). Basically I was told something went wrong with how we were being paid so the rest of my tuition could not be covered, and I had to take time off of school to figure things out. (I feel very ashamed of this part so I prefer please no questions about it, far too much to explain here)
I saw an opportunity to support myself while still being involved with StarCraft, which had become a very large part of my life and brought me joy in a time where I was quite depressed. The IPL Caster competition seemed like a very difficult but possible way to do what I loved without too much financial burden, so I submitted a cast from one of the cups that I casted over the Summer. As I was eliminated from yet another loser bracket match at MLG Dallas, I received an email saying I made the top 16 of the 60+ applicants. Suddenly it seemed there might be a chance I could seriously make something of myself with casting.
After finishing top 4, I was quite upset that I could believe in myself so much and not make the final hurdle. I put on a smile for the rest of the event, and went back home to continue my quest to become good at StarCraft 2. I didn't receive many opportunities for casting, just a small cup here or there thanks to an unlikely friend I made at the event, the person who beat me for the job (lol).
I'd say the biggest move I made toward casting was one night where I decided I would try to cover the audio of the SPL stream, since many people didn't favor the casters and I was surprised no one else offered such an alternative. That weekend would change the course of my SC2 career forever. I had 5 times the viewers than I had ever had while playing the game, and many large personalities complimented me on my casting and dedication as I covered week after week of Korean StarCraft.
It was very difficult for me to accept that I was a much better caster than player. I tried to keep playing but could never live up to my expectations while everyone else pushed for me to find casting work. Eventually I would cover the RSL and the Acer cup, and then community streams for tournaments like Dreamhack.
At first, I despised casting. It served only as a means to push myself further into the scene so I could befriend players and learn how to make myself as good as them. But something started to change as I became more engrossed in the scene. I started to notice trends in the players' styles, I saw matchups unfold and knew what would happen before games even started. I felt myself rooting for one side, and while I tried to keep my bias quiet I could feel myself in the chairs of the players, fighting for every inch in an intense game with honor on the line.
I grew a serious admiration towards the players and over time looked forward to seeing what new tricks they would bring or what I could learn from them next. Casting went from a chore to something I relished every day, with feelings and emotion I could experience even though I wasn't one of the players.
The peak of my career so far has undoubtedly been Dreamhack Summer 2013. As long as I live I won't forget the fire I felt watching Sjow defeat Life, seeing myself in him as the underdog I've always been, toppling an established hierarchy of Korean dominance. I felt a sense of pride like no other as Jaedong fell to Stardust, a player I'd lost to in online tournaments and on ladder in my own quest for greatness.
I love this scene, and I love StarCraft 2 very much. What went from a desperate way to stay involved became the hallmark of my existence in this community, and ultimately something I love to do every day. The passion the players show as they micro their hearts out in the final moments of an eliminating match, the weight of defeat sinking on them as reality sinks in... all things I've felt my fair share of, but played out on an incredible scale. No other game has made me feel so alive, no other community so happy to be a part of. I will continue to do everything I can to push this scene and support its players, and even though I might never reach Grandmaster league, I will never stop supporting those who are willing to pursue their dreams in this incredible community that I've become a part of.
TL;DR: I fucking LOVE totino's pizza rolls. Also thanks for reading and to all who support me in my journey to grow eSports <3
I still have a long way to go, casting Dreamhack has not scored me a real job just yet haha
