EPTHello, intelligent poster. It's another bright and shining day as you enter TL. The sun is smiling, the sky is clear, and the birds are shitting flowers and rainbows. You take a nice long look around. Everything is peaceful, serene. You wander aimlessly, simply enjoying the happy scenery. Suddenly, the sky turns dark. The trees loom menacingly around you, and dark and murky fog clouds your vision. Lightning flashes overhead as the ground dissolves into a putrid muck beneath your feet. Unwittingly, you have entered the SC2 Strategy Forum.
![[image loading]](http://www.simonwinnall.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/SWAMP_LANDSCAPE-600x370.jpg)
Welcome to your worst nightmare.
The SC2 Strategy Forum can be a scary place. It's most definitely not for the faint of heart or the short of temper. But it's still a unique and interesting part of TL that is irreplacable in the hearts and lives of many. So come with me as I show you its strange and mysterious inhabitants. Perhaps, once you get to know this place just a little better, you can come to appreciate it for what it truly is.
![[image loading]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cQb2tKyozEQ/SbrpiBAKLwI/AAAAAAAABBk/SmLbqglgp7k/s400/flaming_bag_of_poop.jpg)
Hopefully not something like this.
Meet the Day[9] Dweeb, a rather populus creature in this neck of the woods. He, along with the approximately billion others, is Day[9]'s number one fan, having listened to all of Day[9] Dailies countless times. He might have even made a riveting post about how Daily #100 forever changed his life, or about how he and Day[9] are soulmates, and if Day[9] ever met him in real life, it would be love at first sight. Since he has listened to every single Day[9] Daily in existence, that makes him a veritable authority on anything and everything Starcraft. Thus he watches with hawk eyes over the strategy forum, poised to spring on whomever may be stupid enough to possibly even start to contradict what Day[9] said that one time on the twenty-third minute of Daily number eighty four. And, simply by invoking the holy name of Sean Plott, he is assured complete and utter immunity from community backlash. He even may have played four of his five placement matches.
Posts you might see him make:
"the 1 hatch muta sen build is the way to go because day9 said so"
"ghost hellion banshee into battlecruiser is completely viable just see day9 daily number 438"
"void ray mothership is imba because on that one day9 daily, that guy won with void rays and motherships"
Related species include the TLO Twat and the HD/Husky Ho.
Meet the Dreamer, a species that sustains itself solely on crazy thoughts and wild fantasies. Often, you can spy him alone in the woods, perhaps atop a thinking stone, theorycrafting long into the night. When he grows up, he wants to be the head designer for Starcraft 8, but for now, spouting off completely off-topic and useless comments in the Srategy Forum will have to suffice. A copy of the beta? Who needs that when you've got WoW and HoN.
Posts you might see him make:
"the mothership should be able to double cloak the DT"
"let's discuss new units for zerg and the possible addition of a fourth race"
"let's give ultralisks the ability to fly and crush nonmassive units when they fall to make them more viable"
Meet the Thinker, not to be confused with the aforementioned Dreamer. This creature is characterized by his high and mighty disdain for those lesser folk who spend stupid grueling hours clicking madly at a flashing computer screen. According to the Thinker, Starcraft 2 is a misnomer. The correct name should be Chess 2.0. He doesn't even need to play the game; he has already thought about it thoroughly. His opponents may as well just concede on the spot. Because, you know, if he had 500 APM, he could easily become a progamer if he tried.
Posts you might see him make:
"nonono the tech timing is all wrong. mutas come out at 7:23 whereas the first thor finishes at 6:49. factoring in travel time, the mtuas have negative 0:57 seconds to harass, meaning it is completely nullified"
"infestors hard counter the protoss army because you are able to NP the sentries and templar, so you can force field his army into a little ball while storming them to death"
"metagame"
Meet the Diamond Dummy. You may look at him and say, "Gee hamtaroadun, that guy looks awfully happy. Why is he so gosh darn happy?" Well, the answer is quite simple: after countless hours of hard work, he just hit the Diamond ranks. That makes him better than 90% of the people who post in the Strategy Forum. With so much power vested in such a little and happy man, he is quick to use it at any and every possible occasion. Because, as everyone knows, being in Diamond means that you are now a top player. Everyone is just dying to hear your advice, if you would only be so kind as to give it. As a diamond player, you are the cream of the crop, and your word is law. Give it a few months, and you'll be the next Artosis.
Posts you might see him make:
"thors r awesum. 500 Diamond player btw"
"mutalisks are weak against terran. diamond player speaking"
"keep in mind that i'm a diamond level player. what are your thoughts on various protoss options versus the 1/1/1 build?"
Meet the Brood War Veteran, a grisly old man with a grumpy attitude and volatile temper. Much like those old guys you have to forcefully drag into nursing homes while their dentures bite holes into your arm, he time to time pops into the Starcraft 2 Forums to ramble and rave about the "good 'ol days" and about how Stacraft 2 is the death of RTS games and that the apocalypse is near. However, he is then mobbed by angry and zealous SC2 tards, and is quickly flamed to death.
Posts you might see him make:
"mbs and automine are terrible sc2 sux"
"i hate mbs and automine"
"mbs and automine are gifts of the devil"
Meet the Top Tier player. Believe it or not, these mythical beasts actually inhabit this murky forest. But they are a rare sight indeed; sadly, this magical and beautiful creature is nearly extinct. If you happen to catch sight of one, pay him the utmost respect. Unless he disagrees with you, that is.
Hopefully, now that you know a little bit more about the Starcraft 2 Strategy Forum and the various creatures that live there, you can feel a bit more safe when treading those dangerous lands. Good luck, intelligent poster!
![[image loading]](http://energio.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/calvin-and-hobbes-go-exploring.jpg)
