EPTAlso for some reason I decided I wanted this to be my 1500th post so I made like 50 posts last night. >_> Edit: I actually didn't know you get a new picture for 1500! But I have a queen now. =)
Again, I slapped everything in a spoiler so I don’t have to scroll like a madman to read comments on this thing. Gogogo
+ Show Spoiler +
It’s a ZvT on Grand Line, just like every other game I’ve played since I figured out how to host a few days ago.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/mDahW.png)
For whatever reason, a wee bit of the right side of the screen got cut off in all these pictures. If supply counts arouse you, I am sorry.
Hokay so he’s going factory, didn’t wall, and he stopped producing from his barracks after one marine. I’ve been trying very hard to overcome my old, totally bullshit ways but if there was ever a player begging to be all-in-ling’d, it was this guy.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/SdCMb.png)
“Pay no attention to the man behind the nothing at all!” - This guy
I’ve got 8 lings out right away instead of my normal 4, with nothing but more lings rallied behind them. I’m going 3 hatch and getting gas, but only for ling speed.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2pn2t.png)
Have you ever wondered what a game of Flash vs Kwanro would look like if Flash had a stroke and was hit in the head by a bat at the start of the game and Kwanro lost both his hands? Wonder no more, here you go!
My lings get to his base and he has exactly as many units as he did when my drone was there. I cant help but feel any strategy that gets you an army value of exactly 50 minerals by the 4 minute mark should be reconsidered.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/VXOHd.png)
To be fair, I think he might have had a vulture in his main by now but even vultures aren’t that imbaimba, no matter what incontrol says.
He starts microing his one vulture against my initial 8 lings but he’s got quite the project ahead of him.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/GWEF2.png)
I feel I can most succinctly describe this vulture’s feelings with the following:
+ Show Spoiler +
While his vulture is off bullying some of my cute little zerglings, I’ve got 4 in his mineral line dry-humping (probably) his SCVs.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/v95zS.png)
Unfortunately SCVs are super strong in this game so the lings are pretty boned as soon as the SCVs notice they’re dying.
+ Show Spoiler [Brief Aside] +
After about a minute and a half of lings vs vulture micro (by that I mean vultures patrol furiously while I A-move blotches of zerglings), I’ve got all the vultures dead with a handful of lings still standing. With a stroke of sheercommon sense brilliance, I do the following:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/9tvdM.png)
I actually felt dope as hell doing this. Shh.
By this point he has speed on his vultures and, once he manages to get a few out, he cleans out the rest of my lings. I’ve got a few stragglers coming but they can’t do anything so I need to turn around with them.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/j9QVs.png)
Also of note is that Armory. This silly goose thought I was actually good and had a follow-up!
Okay so the whole time this is happening it felt like there were some serious problems happening. I didn’t think I had as many lings as I should. Also, I felt like I had enough drones to constantly make lings from 3 hatches but I was finding myself short on money. I figured out the first problem upon looking at my base for the first time in what feels like forever.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/xLfEJ.png)
Also I mined 300 more gas than I wanted.
Alright, the rest of the report will be in yet another spoiler. This is because coming up right now, is a brutal, Rated R, Hostel-esque scene. If you have any small children in the room, tell them to leave. This is about as close to NSFW as an in-game screenshot of a normal game of Starcraft could possibly be. Even if someone never saw the game and had no clue how it works or what a computer is, they would still likely faint after seeing something this terrible, stupid, and quite frankly grotesque.
I know what you’re thinking: “It can’t possibly be that bad.” I’m going to tell you right now that it totally is. After I realized what happened, all the dogs on my street starting barking and a bird shit on my window. My 2 year old nephew came into my room and uppercut me in the dick (not unlike Wario in Smash Brothers Brawl). A blind leper came to tell me how obscenely bad I am at this game. Saint Peter descended from above to tell me there was “No f**cking way in hell you are getting into Heaven.” (Yes I understand its a weird way for him to word it and I genuinely had no clue he swore like that but hey, I’m just quoting the man.)
If you’re alone and brave enough, you can continue on to see what I did.
+ Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/30Kxl.png)
Oopsie daisy
I want to make it clear the I am fully aware that no circumstances exist that could possibly justify this happening. But if it is at all possible to preserve even the tiniest shred of dignity, I am going to try to do that. I did not have the sound on this game. The night before, I was watching replays while listening to music. I did not look at the minimap because Iam really bad was pretty sure no vultures went got out and that there shouldnt be anything happening down there.
I have since turned the sound on.
Anyway, even in my darkest hour, I have to carry on. And with that, here is more things that happened:
To top it off, 4 vultures run by my single sunken colony and started shooting what few drones I had left.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/xIW6b.png)
Please leave me alone, I just got punched in the dick.
Fortunately, he let this happen:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/VUwAx.png)
Omg what a noob. How do you let something like that happen? I mean, how bad could you possibly be? I would never ever ever lose any units unnecessarily because of not paying attention like that. Some people … -_-
With no economy to speak of, I select my lings, A-move them at his base, and hope for the best.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/nw9Gf.png)
As youcan can’t see from my sweet editing, he’s close to double my food (just trust me!) Also we interesting enough have the exact same amount of minerals.
He doesn’t really have any things so I’m able to run him over, thus collecting the single least deserved victory in Starcraft history.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/y1b4z.png)
Despite his lack of things that do stuff, I think he might have GG’d prematurely. He maybe didn’t realize that my economy consisted of exactly 2 drones.
For whatever reason, a wee bit of the right side of the screen got cut off in all these pictures. If supply counts arouse you, I am sorry.
Hokay so he’s going factory, didn’t wall, and he stopped producing from his barracks after one marine. I’ve been trying very hard to overcome my old, totally bullshit ways but if there was ever a player begging to be all-in-ling’d, it was this guy.
“Pay no attention to the man behind the nothing at all!” - This guy
I’ve got 8 lings out right away instead of my normal 4, with nothing but more lings rallied behind them. I’m going 3 hatch and getting gas, but only for ling speed.
Have you ever wondered what a game of Flash vs Kwanro would look like if Flash had a stroke and was hit in the head by a bat at the start of the game and Kwanro lost both his hands? Wonder no more, here you go!
My lings get to his base and he has exactly as many units as he did when my drone was there. I cant help but feel any strategy that gets you an army value of exactly 50 minerals by the 4 minute mark should be reconsidered.
To be fair, I think he might have had a vulture in his main by now but even vultures aren’t that imbaimba, no matter what incontrol says.
He starts microing his one vulture against my initial 8 lings but he’s got quite the project ahead of him.
I feel I can most succinctly describe this vulture’s feelings with the following:
+ Show Spoiler +
While his vulture is off bullying some of my cute little zerglings, I’ve got 4 in his mineral line dry-humping (probably) his SCVs.
Unfortunately SCVs are super strong in this game so the lings are pretty boned as soon as the SCVs notice they’re dying.
+ Show Spoiler [Brief Aside] +
Have you ever seen SCVs with medic support go up against zerglings without attack or carapace upgrades? Its actually pretty dope how well the SCVs do. I remember watching Ret’s stream a few years ago (holy shit nostalgia) when he got 12 lings into a mineral line with a similar number of scvs and a few medics. It was really quite impressively not even a little bit close. Hokay sorry, battle report time.
After about a minute and a half of lings vs vulture micro (by that I mean vultures patrol furiously while I A-move blotches of zerglings), I’ve got all the vultures dead with a handful of lings still standing. With a stroke of sheer
I actually felt dope as hell doing this. Shh.
By this point he has speed on his vultures and, once he manages to get a few out, he cleans out the rest of my lings. I’ve got a few stragglers coming but they can’t do anything so I need to turn around with them.
Also of note is that Armory. This silly goose thought I was actually good and had a follow-up!
Okay so the whole time this is happening it felt like there were some serious problems happening. I didn’t think I had as many lings as I should. Also, I felt like I had enough drones to constantly make lings from 3 hatches but I was finding myself short on money. I figured out the first problem upon looking at my base for the first time in what feels like forever.
Also I mined 300 more gas than I wanted.
Alright, the rest of the report will be in yet another spoiler. This is because coming up right now, is a brutal, Rated R, Hostel-esque scene. If you have any small children in the room, tell them to leave. This is about as close to NSFW as an in-game screenshot of a normal game of Starcraft could possibly be. Even if someone never saw the game and had no clue how it works or what a computer is, they would still likely faint after seeing something this terrible, stupid, and quite frankly grotesque.
I know what you’re thinking: “It can’t possibly be that bad.” I’m going to tell you right now that it totally is. After I realized what happened, all the dogs on my street starting barking and a bird shit on my window. My 2 year old nephew came into my room and uppercut me in the dick (not unlike Wario in Smash Brothers Brawl). A blind leper came to tell me how obscenely bad I am at this game. Saint Peter descended from above to tell me there was “No f**cking way in hell you are getting into Heaven.” (Yes I understand its a weird way for him to word it and I genuinely had no clue he swore like that but hey, I’m just quoting the man.)
If you’re alone and brave enough, you can continue on to see what I did.
+ Show Spoiler +
Oopsie daisy
I want to make it clear the I am fully aware that no circumstances exist that could possibly justify this happening. But if it is at all possible to preserve even the tiniest shred of dignity, I am going to try to do that. I did not have the sound on this game. The night before, I was watching replays while listening to music. I did not look at the minimap because I
I have since turned the sound on.
Anyway, even in my darkest hour, I have to carry on. And with that, here is more things that happened:
To top it off, 4 vultures run by my single sunken colony and started shooting what few drones I had left.
Please leave me alone, I just got punched in the dick.
Fortunately, he let this happen:
Omg what a noob. How do you let something like that happen? I mean, how bad could you possibly be? I would never ever ever lose any units unnecessarily because of not paying attention like that. Some people … -_-
With no economy to speak of, I select my lings, A-move them at his base, and hope for the best.
As you
He doesn’t really have any things so I’m able to run him over, thus collecting the single least deserved victory in Starcraft history.
Despite his lack of things that do stuff, I think he might have GG’d prematurely. He maybe didn’t realize that my economy consisted of exactly 2 drones.
And with that, I collected his ladder points. As a bonus, he was D+ so I got extra points
. Also, this pushed me up over 1700 points which I think is a personal best for me. I didn’t show the murder scv for dramatic effect, so if you want to watch it do its thang you can find the replay here.Hope you enjoyed, bye. =)
