EDIT: Since I can't change the title, please don't take it as an invitation. It was meant to be provocative, but if your first reaction is 'a dick', I think you might be more comfortable watching Big Brother or the U.S. presidential elections.
Have you ever had the feeling that there are two people making decisions inside you? The you that had not just had a glass of wine, or smoked a joint; that had gone running this morning; that had loved more; that had been more aware? It’s as though no matter how you try, you aren’t making some decisions – they are like premeditated, fateful.
What is control over oneself, one’s body, one’s mind? What is self? When are you ‘you’? Can you choose to do anything to the extent of your physical and mental capacities? Genius may be out of your reach, but if you are you then you control you and not vice-versa. Controlling oneself requires amazing self-awareness and self-knowledge. It requires you to feel your feelings, think your thoughts.
Imagine you are an aspiring runner. You’ve been running since childhood, as an adolescent and then as an adult, always enjoying the scorching-hot gasp of blue air when you reached the mountaintop. It is a gratifying sense of self-punishment and reward; the ability to coerce yourself into doing something good by doing something bad. It might work indefinitely, but it is a burdensome mechanism.
Now imagine another runner. He too has been running since childhood. But he sees the ocean floor and the endless sky, and the world in your eye. When he practices running, there is no anger in his action: he is not obligated to run. He chooses to run, and when he runs, he knows he is running. There is no frustration for his falls, no irritation for his slowness. Whether he wins or not does not matter – he is one: he is running.
When there is no conflict in the self, you delve into the focus. When there is complete peace of mind, you become one with the act; there is nothing your mind can stand in opposition to, nothing else you need to think about. This is exactly where you want to be. When this is always true, you are you.
I ‘m being overtly poetic just to say something simple: are you who you are being? Do you know anyone who is? Have you heard of someone like this, or, rather – can you imagine this being?
Play with the body and mind.