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Sometimes it feels like nothing in this world can ever be good enough for me. Being a simple working class man, being a lawyer, being a doctor...they all seem like they aren't good enough for me. Like I can be someone so much bigger, so much greater, I want to be the best.
I'm 19, and in that phase in life where I have to decide what I want to do with myself. What career do I take? Should I work with computers? Maybe get a job with some computer company and sit a 4x4 cubicle on the 14th floor of some building in front of a monitor all day?
Maybe I can become a dentist or doctor. It's a prestigious job. Makes good money. In the former case, I will be standing in small rooms all day, leaned over some guy and reaching into his mouth with drill doing a root canal or filling a cavity. In the latter case I could be sitting in some office looking at x-rays, or doing an EGD, or performing a coronary artery bypass surgery in some hospital.
Could become a researcher. Sit in a lab all day making solutions, running columns, doing some spectroscopy and assays. Or become a teacher and teach the same material year after year to kids until I puke.
I hate conformity. I think its a phobia, or there is something psychologically amiss with me, but I despise it. Let me explicitly tell you what I mean by this. I hate being generalized, or categorized, or doing the same thing that other people do. Example: I hated saying the national anthem every morning in high school. I would just stand there with my hand over my heart, but no words came out. Like I was being institutionalized or something. I love America, but I hate conformity. Maybe thats why I like dystopian books so much. I don't like following the styles everyone else does; I just like doing my own thing and being unique. One of a kind, someone who shines, someone different.
When I think about the world, and all the possibilities it has, it just doesn't seem enough. I want to do something that nobody has ever done in this world. I want to cure cancer, write a novel series that belittles Harry Potter by 100 fold, be the biggest star this world has seen. I want to shine so brightly that the progress of history itself could not and would not be possible without my influence.
In plain terms, I am ambitious. So much so that I feel like nothing this world can offer me is good enough. Maybe I'm naive, but I feel so confident. It's ironic that I am writing this on some random starcraft forum of all places. I guess in the end though, having pure ambition is worthless unless you can turn it into something real. After all, you can't win a game with 20,000 minerals when all you have are supply depots.
 
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If you don't want to conform, don't. Drop out, go travelling, live on the streets. It's up to you. You don't HAVE to do anything.
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On April 29 2009 16:08 nataziel wrote:
If you don't want to conform, don't. Drop out, go travelling, live on the streets. It's up to you. You don't HAVE to do anything.
Traveling to where and to do what? Just go to some random places, walk here and there, see some mountains or cows or snow or whatever? And then what? I don't want to live on the streets either.
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Become President of the United States
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Narcissisim in a teamliquid post? Unheard of.
Good luck choosing a profession!
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On April 29 2009 16:13 MoRe_mInErAls wrote:
Become President of the United States
I like it. Keep the suggestions coming.
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Travel everywhere! Do everything! You said you're ambitious, just go. YES! Go to random places walk here and there see everything. I doubt you could see everything in one lifetime. There is no then what. You don't want to live on the streets but you don't want to conform? Kinda counter intuitive really.
Point is, if you want to do something do it. If you find out you can't do it, try doing something else. How will you ever know if something isn't good enough for you if you never do it?
If you want to cure cancer, study fucking hard! If you want to write good books, start writing! Just stop whinging about it and do it.
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Do whatever you like. Just remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
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On April 29 2009 16:08 nataziel wrote:
If you don't want to conform, don't. Drop out, go travelling, live on the streets. It's up to you. You don't HAVE to do anything.
actually thats how i ended up in the US, still cant forgive myself leaving uni after 3 years
OP, you can envision things being great, in the end it still gets repetitive and boring
unless you find something to live for - a job( occupation) that you love and can always improve at or a person( family) you wish to live for. Everything else turns into routine and loses its brightness, even though it might seem attractive at first
you can be a rebel for only so long - you bound to settle down some time, just because you have to survive or "move on" in life( doesnt matter if you accept it or not, unless you okay with being a bum) And when you are this much older it gets tough to start over, Ive done it many times
so educate yourself while you can and try to absorb as much as possible. Without that you wont get closer to anything
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
As for being unique, we all are, that is the easy part. It's not about hating conformity and it's not about ambition. It is about passion, without it, goals and dreams have no legs. Find passion, the rest falls in place.
+ Show Spoiler +
The only way to destroy a dream, is to make it reality.
- physician, age 15
If life were a race, live it like you were on the last stretch..
- physician, a couple years ago
Sorry couldn't help myself : )
=QA62zY6G8Hw { or =5HKsZblKjN4 for the nonconformist : ) - }
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Baa?21247 Posts
Typical teenage boy angst. Go listen to Linkin Park for a week or so and you'll remember what you've done with your life and that in the end it doesn't even matter.
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Find a green-haired girl named CC and convince her to give you a Geass so you can rule the world.
Problem solved ;D
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
On April 29 2009 16:32 fOrQQ wrote:
Find a green-haired girl named CC and convince her to give you a Geass so you can rule the world.
Problem solved ;D
jejeje my hat of to you man
one day we will find her.. one day..
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3861 Posts
I felt (feel) exactly the same, but this "conformity" really isn't what you think. I agree that this world feels small, but without a job or income, how will you feed yourself as you're coming up with your great novel? How will you cure cancer without a proper education and studying what everyone has been already been doing? (Unless you're a medical genius, which I doubt you are).
It's the fact that you have the urge, the ambition but no goal. You have the passion, but no where to put it. I don't know how old you are, how much of this world you've seen or what you have experienced, but trust me when I say that this world DOES have a lot to offer; you just need to figure out what it is you want to take from it. You said it yourself "I guess in the end though, having pure ambition is worthless unless you can turn it into something real. After all, you can't win a game with 20,000 minerals when all you have are supply depots."
I hope you put your ambitions towards something that makes you content. But to be someone great, you're gonna have to put in the grunt work.
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Life is a lot like pokemon. You've gotta catch'm all!
Life's a little different though instead of pokemon that fight each other, you have girls. Instead of catching them all, you just gotta bang'm all. Instead of collecting badges, take their underwear.
After you've caught them all your allowed to be bored of this world, and claim it's not big enough for you. Until then.. Keep the dream alive!
+ Show Spoiler +Watch out for team rocket ( HIV )
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i plan to win at least 2 nobel prizes tbh
also when i saw the blog title i was planning to make a fat joke, then decided against it
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On April 29 2009 16:04 GrayArea wrote:
When I think about the world, and all the possibilities it has, it just doesn't seem enough. I want to do something that nobody has ever done in this world. I want to cure cancer, write a novel series that belittles Harry Potter by 100 fold, be the biggest star this world has seen. I want to shine so brightly that the progress of history itself could not and would not be possible without my influence.
Takes plain work boyo.
When you figure out what to do (and you will, you're still young) then you have something to direct all your ambition towards.
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Valhalla18444 Posts
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Just take your time.. you'll find your vocation sometime later.
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EPT
