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Awkward brain blowout

Blogs > Osmoses
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Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
February 19 2009 22:49 GMT
#1
Today as I went to get breakfast at the sandwich place on campus, I get there about 20 minutes before class or so. On a good day I usually get to order within 5 minutes of getting there and get the order within another 10. Today there is a line, and the line is pretty short, just two people in front of me, but this might mean anything since the people making the sandwiches tend to only be able to take one order per 5 minutes. Yes, when I said I usually get to order within 5 minutes, I meant there is usually no line at all when I get there.

Anyway, the person standing directly in front of me in the line is a NROTC guy, uniform and all, and he has a blank, sort of distant look in his eyes.

After a minute or so of standing in line, another NROTC guy walks up to him and starts a conversation.

I woke up about half an hour ago, and my mind is slow, but after he's been talking for about a minute, a bomb explodes in my head:

HOLY SHIT, is he cutting in line!? Did he just cut in line in front of me?! SHIT! But maybe he isn't, maybe he is just having a talk with his friend who's in line? How the hell am I supposed to know which, and should I act and when? He's been standing there for two minutes now, and the next guy in line is the first NROTC guy. What if he goes to order and the other NROTC asshole stays in line, waiting to order after him?

Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight, but I AM fairly rational, and is it worth ruining my day just to stop this guy from cutting in line? I mean, the extra 5 minutes will cause me to be late for class, but 5 minutes is not exactly a big deal. Anyway, time is running out, the first NROTC guy will get to order at any second, I NEED A GODDAMN DECISION HERE, what do I do if he acts like nothing and just goes ahead and orders before me? Do I stop him with 100% chance of causing a scene and a bad mood for the rest of the day or do I just let it slide and be in a good mood in another hour or so? SHIT!

And then, from out of NOWHERE, the first NROTC guy starts crying openly and walks away, and the second guy, looking worried, walks after him. I wasn't listening to their conversation, I have no idea what just happened, all I know is suddenly I'm first in line.

The whole buildup of the past 5 minutes pretty much falls over in my brain and causes some kind of catastrophic chain reaction, turning me into a twitching retard. What the fuck just happened? As the guy at the counter calls "next" I walk up to him with a walk silly enough to rival any one of Monty Python's and tell the man I "would be like to have" a turkey club, "prueeezee!". I pay, I get some coke, I sit down at a table, and I just can't seem to blink my eyes properly without conscious effort.

A guy almost cuts in line in front of me and for the next hour I'm Ace Ventura. What the fuck is wrong with me?

****
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
anderoo
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada1876 Posts
February 19 2009 22:53 GMT
#2
misleading title
was hoping for pics
5/5!
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
February 19 2009 22:56 GMT
#3
lol wtf


p.s: u wouldn't have to make a scene. just be like "wtf" and wait for an answer.
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
February 19 2009 22:59 GMT
#4
Hahahahaha.... quite the interesting read.
Hope you're able to blink properly now. :p
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
February 19 2009 22:59 GMT
#5
Hahaha, that was pretty amusing. I think it's more the fact that you're bothered by the principle of the situation - thinking should you have done something about someone cutting in front of you, unfairly adding wait time to your schedule or let it go?

The dude running away crying was pretty random though. Gays, probably?
prOxi.swAMi
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3091 Posts
February 19 2009 23:02 GMT
#6
I would've just asked him "are you planning on ordering?"
if "yeah" just say "could you please line up behind me, I was here first."
he'd probably just say "oh, right, sorry"
if "no" then ur all good.
Oh no
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26003 Posts
February 19 2009 23:04 GMT
#7
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories
Moderator
Not_Computer
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada2277 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-19 23:24:33
February 19 2009 23:19 GMT
#8
interesting read!!

if i had time, and it was only one person, and the line wasn't moving too slow, i'd just let it go
if not, i would just go like, "you aren't cutting in line right?"
or if i was in a hurry, i'd ask "do you mind if i jump in front of you guys? i'm going to be late for class" and if they say no i'll be like, "well then do you mind?" and gesture/point out that they obviously budded and that i could see it... and if they say no... i guess i'd probably do something stupid call down the thunder
"Jaedong hyung better be ready. I'm going to order the most expensive dinner in Korea."
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
February 19 2009 23:34 GMT
#9
ahaha...that's pretty funny and interesting.

Something else must have been bugging you in the back of your mind...or some background stress, pressure from some project or exam or girl or what have you. :X
Hello
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
February 19 2009 23:35 GMT
#10
On February 20 2009 08:04 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories

Definitely a lot more than that. I have easily been in a half dozen fights and Im not a tough guy or anything. Maybe it just has to do with where you grew up or your personality type, but I have had many many situations where I have almost gotten into a fight.
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
February 19 2009 23:38 GMT
#11
fun read.
epic fail.
[image loading]
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
Fr33t
Profile Joined June 2008
United States1128 Posts
February 19 2009 23:55 GMT
#12
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
As the guy at the counter calls "next" I walk up to him with a walk silly enough to rival any one of Monty Python's and tell the man I "would be like to have" a turkey club, "prueeezee!".


Haha! You should have just asked him though if he was going to order or not. It's up to you whether or not you want to make it a scene.
"Wow you could literally transport Lomo's face to a girl and the result would be pretty deceptive."
inReacH
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Sweden1612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-20 01:33:32
February 20 2009 01:25 GMT
#13
Ok wait..

I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world but if I enter a cafeteria with a friend and I say to my buddy "Hey I'm just going to go to the bathroom, get a spot in line for us", I know I will have no problem joining my friend when I come back even if people have lined up behind him.

As if I'm going to go wait behind some number of people without my friend..
Was it obvious they had just run into each other and weren't together before?

Even so I wouldn't be bothered at all if a friend joined his other friend in line in front of me.
It just doesn't make sense in a socially developed society to not let friends save spots in line for each other.

Having a problem with that is so primitive imo.
inReacH
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Sweden1612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-20 01:34:15
February 20 2009 01:29 GMT
#14
On February 20 2009 08:04 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories


omglike, pointing out problems i have with peoples posts is such a fun way to exert my superiority complex over ppl.

It's like you click a new thread and read the op just looking for something you object to.

What do you think you are adding to this thread by posting that?
Do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?
Nitrogen
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States5345 Posts
February 20 2009 01:40 GMT
#15
On February 20 2009 10:29 inReacH wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 20 2009 08:04 Chill wrote:
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories


omglike, pointing out problems i have with peoples posts is such a fun way to exert my superiority complex over ppl.

It's like you click a new thread and read the op just looking for something you object to.

What do you think you are adding to this thread by posting that?
Do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?


why do you think you are adding to this thread by posting thatt?
do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?

anyways, OP why were you having a turkey sub and a coke for breakfast?
kind of weird situation, i'm really curious as to why that guy started crying.
UNFUCK YOURSELF
inReacH
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Sweden1612 Posts
February 20 2009 02:00 GMT
#16
On February 20 2009 10:40 404.Nitrogen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 20 2009 10:29 inReacH wrote:
On February 20 2009 08:04 Chill wrote:
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories


omglike, pointing out problems i have with peoples posts is such a fun way to exert my superiority complex over ppl.

It's like you click a new thread and read the op just looking for something you object to.

What do you think you are adding to this thread by posting that?
Do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?


why do you think you are adding to this thread by posting thatt?
do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?

anyways, OP why were you having a turkey sub and a coke for breakfast?
kind of weird situation, i'm really curious as to why that guy started crying.


Because I see him make these stupid, passer-by, oh-so-skeptical comments all the time and it gets on my nerves.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32159 Posts
February 20 2009 02:11 GMT
#17
MEMO

To: inReacH
From: Hawk
Subject: Chill
Date: Feb. 20, 2009

Sir,

Chill is a jerk, and one with power, at that. Update your records accordingly.

Sincerely Yours,
Hawk
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
1a2a3aGG
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States225 Posts
February 20 2009 02:39 GMT
#18
I think its something like 86% of americans are non-confrontational... odds in your favor if you do something they'll back down...

I was at starbucks the other day havin a cig with my friend and some douche walks in with his girlfriend... he way bigger than me... and on his way in says, "put out ur cigaretee asshole" than goes inside waits in line thinking I wont do shit about this... I sat at the door and stared at him for 5 minutes waiting for him to come out with his ugly little girlfriend so I could rightfully see if he wanted to back up his words...

Just as I expected, as soon as he walks out I offer him a cigarette, ask him what that last remark was as he walked in the door right in his face in front of his little ugly gf. He wouldn't call me an asshole again, I couldn't make him do it. LMAO I told him to at least 6 times.

It was hilarious I got the guy to apologize to me and his girlfriend for trying to cuss me out and using profanity in front of a woman... He was embarassed beyond belief.

A little backbone in life can work to your advantage, I would call the douche out and tell him to get in line just like everyone else. I bet he will be more embarassed than you if you call him out. Put him in his place!
ulszz
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
Jamaica1787 Posts
February 20 2009 02:39 GMT
#19
On February 20 2009 10:40 404.Nitrogen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 20 2009 10:29 inReacH wrote:
On February 20 2009 08:04 Chill wrote:
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories


omglike, pointing out problems i have with peoples posts is such a fun way to exert my superiority complex over ppl.

It's like you click a new thread and read the op just looking for something you object to.

What do you think you are adding to this thread by posting that?
Do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?


why do you think you are adding to this thread by posting thatt?
do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?

anyways, OP why were you having a turkey sub and a coke for breakfast?
kind of weird situation, i'm really curious as to why that guy started crying.

and you think it is necessary to express your disapproval of his dissapproval? see its a chain, and you're a link in it. me too now but maybe it will stop.

op: hahaha that was funny ace ventura ftw 5/5 for the lawl
everliving, everfaithful, eversure
Nitrogen
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States5345 Posts
February 20 2009 02:41 GMT
#20
On February 20 2009 11:39 ulszz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 20 2009 10:40 404.Nitrogen wrote:
On February 20 2009 10:29 inReacH wrote:
On February 20 2009 08:04 Chill wrote:
On February 20 2009 07:49 Osmoses wrote:
Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty big guy so I'm not exactly afraid of causing a scene or getting into a fight


I love this line when people use it. It's like how often have you thought you were going to get into a fight in your life? Like 4? 10? And yet this line comes out in so many stories


omglike, pointing out problems i have with peoples posts is such a fun way to exert my superiority complex over ppl.

It's like you click a new thread and read the op just looking for something you object to.

What do you think you are adding to this thread by posting that?
Do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?


why do you think you are adding to this thread by posting thatt?
do you feel it so necessary to express your disapproval?

anyways, OP why were you having a turkey sub and a coke for breakfast?
kind of weird situation, i'm really curious as to why that guy started crying.

and you think it is necessary to express your disapproval of his dissapproval? see its a chain, and you're a link in it. me too now but maybe it will stop.

op: hahaha that was funny ace ventura ftw 5/5 for the lawl


i wasn't disapproving his disapproval, i was just asking why it was necessary to post that he disapproved.
UNFUCK YOURSELF
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32159 Posts
February 20 2009 03:16 GMT
#21
On February 20 2009 11:39 1a2a3aGG wrote:
I think its something like 86% of americans are non-confrontational... odds in your favor if you do something they'll back down...

I was at starbucks the other day havin a cig with my friend and some douche walks in with his girlfriend... he way bigger than me... and on his way in says, "put out ur cigaretee asshole" than goes inside waits in line thinking I wont do shit about this... I sat at the door and stared at him for 5 minutes waiting for him to come out with his ugly little girlfriend so I could rightfully see if he wanted to back up his words...

Just as I expected, as soon as he walks out I offer him a cigarette, ask him what that last remark was as he walked in the door right in his face in front of his little ugly gf. He wouldn't call me an asshole again, I couldn't make him do it. LMAO I told him to at least 6 times.

It was hilarious I got the guy to apologize to me and his girlfriend for trying to cuss me out and using profanity in front of a woman... He was embarassed beyond belief.

A little backbone in life can work to your advantage, I would call the douche out and tell him to get in line just like everyone else. I bet he will be more embarassed than you if you call him out. Put him in his place!


Come try that in Jersey, broski. You'll taste the sun tan lotion from some dude's knuckles for weeks.
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
inReacH
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Sweden1612 Posts
February 20 2009 03:46 GMT
#22
On February 20 2009 11:39 1a2a3aGG wrote:
I think its something like 86% of americans are non-confrontational... odds in your favor if you do something they'll back down...

I was at starbucks the other day havin a cig with my friend and some douche walks in with his girlfriend... he way bigger than me... and on his way in says, "put out ur cigaretee asshole" than goes inside waits in line thinking I wont do shit about this... I sat at the door and stared at him for 5 minutes waiting for him to come out with his ugly little girlfriend so I could rightfully see if he wanted to back up his words...

Just as I expected, as soon as he walks out I offer him a cigarette, ask him what that last remark was as he walked in the door right in his face in front of his little ugly gf. He wouldn't call me an asshole again, I couldn't make him do it. LMAO I told him to at least 6 times.

It was hilarious I got the guy to apologize to me and his girlfriend for trying to cuss me out and using profanity in front of a woman... He was embarassed beyond belief.

A little backbone in life can work to your advantage, I would call the douche out and tell him to get in line just like everyone else. I bet he will be more embarassed than you if you call him out. Put him in his place!


God someone take this kid to a vet and hold his head in your palm while the veterinarian removes the life from him.
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