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Active: 901 users

Fleshlight

Blogs > tdotkrayz
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tdotkrayz
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States136 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-18 21:28:45
February 18 2009 21:16 GMT
#1
I laughed out loud when I saw an ad for this on a porn site.

This is from wikipedia:

The Fleshlight (also marketed as the Fleshjack) is a sex toy designed for use by males. The Fleshlight is designed and marketed by Interactive Life Forms (ILF).[1] The Fleshlight is named for the flesh-like material used in its inner sleeve, as well as the plastic case that houses the sleeve, which is fashioned to look like an oversized flashlight. The inner sleeve is available with vagina, anus, buttocks, mouth and a more discreet slot-shaped orifice (stealth). All inner sleeves also come in a choice of various colors and internal textures.

The Fleshlight was designed by former police officer Steve Shubin who was suffering a period of forced abstinence while his wife was in a high-risk pregnancy.[2] He was granted a patent in 1998 for his invention, as a "device for discreet sperm collection".[3]

Here's a picture in case you're still confused:

NSFW: + Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Uh... I really don't know how to say this in a way that won't make me look like a loser, but I kinda want this thing... I mean, most of the time, I'm gonna jack off rather than having sex so why not use this? So, uh, has anyone tried this shit? If so, is it all it's cracked up to be? Lol, I might be asking the wrong website.



**
yubee
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States3826 Posts
February 18 2009 21:18 GMT
#2
my friend bought one and then got scared his parents were going to find it so he threw it in some discrete garbage can around town LOL
Spartan
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United States2030 Posts
February 18 2009 21:19 GMT
#3
Waste of money if can get the real thing.
# http://nkspartan.com (web engineer)
# TL member since July 2005; CEO of Vile Gaming; President of Team Vile
LordWeird
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3411 Posts
February 18 2009 21:23 GMT
#4
Picture not working for me.

Chains none
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
February 18 2009 21:23 GMT
#5
lol yubee
RIP Aaliyah
JWD
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States12607 Posts
February 18 2009 21:26 GMT
#6
On February 19 2009 06:18 yubee wrote:
my friend bought one and then got scared his parents were going to find it so he threw it in some discrete garbage can around town LOL


looool
✌
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
February 18 2009 21:30 GMT
#7
doesnt ur jizz just collect in the back 0_0
Hates Fun🤔
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
February 18 2009 21:32 GMT
#8
"device for discreet sperm collection"

lol

its a torch with a vagina on the front, im sure my parents would flip out if they found one of those in my room
HEY MEYT
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
February 18 2009 21:32 GMT
#9
I think Japan has 500billion different products analogous to this.
tdotkrayz
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States136 Posts
February 18 2009 21:33 GMT
#10
On February 19 2009 06:32 JohnColtrane wrote:
"device for discreet sperm collection"

lol

its a torch with a vagina on the front, im sure my parents would flip out if they found one of those in my room


Dude, there's a cap.
p4NDemik
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States13896 Posts
February 18 2009 21:35 GMT
#11
On February 19 2009 06:30 paper wrote:
doesnt ur jizz just collect in the back 0_0

I'm sure you would have to clean it after using it.
Moderator
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-18 21:36:45
February 18 2009 21:35 GMT
#12
did you just start watching porn today? fleshlight been around forever ;O!

everyone needs one of these: http://www.bodybouncer.com/

THE BODY BOUNCER, safe for work and roflll
Nak Allstar.
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
February 18 2009 21:37 GMT
#13
On February 19 2009 06:33 tdotkrayz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 06:32 JohnColtrane wrote:
"device for discreet sperm collection"

lol

its a torch with a vagina on the front, im sure my parents would flip out if they found one of those in my room


Dude, there's a cap.


what if my parents needed a torch to look in a closet or something?
HEY MEYT
TheFoReveRwaR
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States10657 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-18 21:48:57
February 18 2009 21:48 GMT
#14
My hand works fine. It's probably easier to clean too
Being healthy, it has been said, really consists of having the same disease as everybody else.
RebirthOfLeGenD
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
USA5860 Posts
February 18 2009 21:48 GMT
#15
On February 19 2009 06:35 MiniRoman wrote:
did you just start watching porn today? fleshlight been around forever ;O!

everyone needs one of these: http://www.bodybouncer.com/

THE BODY BOUNCER, safe for work and roflll

I WILL TAKE 5.
Be a man, Become a Legend. TL Mafia Forum Ask for access!!
JudgeMathis
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Cuba1286 Posts
February 18 2009 21:49 GMT
#16
On February 19 2009 06:37 JohnColtrane wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 06:33 tdotkrayz wrote:
On February 19 2009 06:32 JohnColtrane wrote:
"device for discreet sperm collection"

lol

its a torch with a vagina on the front, im sure my parents would flip out if they found one of those in my room


Dude, there's a cap.


what if my parents needed a torch to look in a closet or something?


Where do you live in the 14th century?
Benching 225 is light weight. Soy Cubano y Boricua!
404.Nintu
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Canada1723 Posts
February 18 2009 21:50 GMT
#17
On February 19 2009 06:49 JudgeMathis wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 06:37 JohnColtrane wrote:
On February 19 2009 06:33 tdotkrayz wrote:
On February 19 2009 06:32 JohnColtrane wrote:
"device for discreet sperm collection"

lol

its a torch with a vagina on the front, im sure my parents would flip out if they found one of those in my room


Dude, there's a cap.


what if my parents needed a torch to look in a closet or something?


Where do you live in the 14th century?

You're so VIOLENTLY American.
"So, then did the American yum-yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?"
pyrogenetix
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
China5094 Posts
February 18 2009 21:54 GMT
#18
lol body bouncer looks fun
Yea that looks just like Kang Min... amazing game sense... and uses mind games well, but has the micro of a washed up progamer.
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 18 2009 21:57 GMT
#19
Man when the power goes out and your parents are trying to use your jerking aid as a flashlight, that will be a memory that sticks with you.
JWD
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States12607 Posts
February 18 2009 21:59 GMT
#20
On February 19 2009 06:50 404.Nintu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 06:49 JudgeMathis wrote:
On February 19 2009 06:37 JohnColtrane wrote:
On February 19 2009 06:33 tdotkrayz wrote:
On February 19 2009 06:32 JohnColtrane wrote:
"device for discreet sperm collection"

lol

its a torch with a vagina on the front, im sure my parents would flip out if they found one of those in my room


Dude, there's a cap.


what if my parents needed a torch to look in a closet or something?


Where do you live in the 14th century?

You're so VIOLENTLY American.


Translation, for all of us American noobies in here: torch = flashlight, in British English.
✌
miseiler
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States1389 Posts
February 18 2009 22:01 GMT
#21
On February 19 2009 06:35 MiniRoman wrote:
did you just start watching porn today? fleshlight been around forever ;O!

everyone needs one of these: http://www.bodybouncer.com/

THE BODY BOUNCER, safe for work and roflll


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT IS AMAZING

It's so beautiful and so simple. This is the kind of thing they point to in school and say, "Listen, kids. The key to invention is simply finding a problem, then solving it in a simple way." And then they give you that knowing look that says, "Yes, the inventor of the pet rock made squillions and you will, too."
"Jinro soo manly wearing only a T-Shirt while the Koreans freeze in their jackets" -- Double_O
"He's from Sweden, man. We have to fight polar bears on our way to school." -- Yusername
yoshtodd
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States418 Posts
February 18 2009 22:03 GMT
#22
lol body bouncer looks so terrible. People too lazy to move their body even for sex now?
moo
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
February 18 2009 22:03 GMT
#23
oops yeah sorry, i meant flashlight
HEY MEYT
boesthius
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States11637 Posts
February 18 2009 22:04 GMT
#24
--- Nuked ---
Rice
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1332 Posts
February 18 2009 22:08 GMT
#25
On February 19 2009 06:57 Lemonwalrus wrote:
Man when the power goes out and your parents are trying to use your jerking aid as a flashlight, that will be a memory that sticks with you.


rofl
Freedom will be defended at the cost of civil liberties.
LordWeird
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3411 Posts
February 18 2009 22:17 GMT
#26
On February 19 2009 07:03 yoshtodd wrote:
lol body bouncer looks so terrible. People too lazy to move their body even for sex now?


You're right that it's somewhat lazy, but it's ingenious nonetheless. The principle is that it's less work, all pleasure. Which is a good thing.
Chains none
ShadowDrgn
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States2497 Posts
February 18 2009 22:25 GMT
#27
On February 19 2009 06:19 Spartan wrote:
Waste of money if can get the real thing.


The real thing costs more.
Of course, you only live one life, and you make all your mistakes, and learn what not to do, and that’s the end of you.
miseiler
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States1389 Posts
February 18 2009 22:33 GMT
#28
On February 19 2009 07:25 ShadowDrgn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 06:19 Spartan wrote:
Waste of money if can get the real thing.


The real thing costs more.


QFT.
"Jinro soo manly wearing only a T-Shirt while the Koreans freeze in their jackets" -- Double_O
"He's from Sweden, man. We have to fight polar bears on our way to school." -- Yusername
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
February 18 2009 22:38 GMT
#29
On February 19 2009 06:54 pyrogenetix wrote:
lol body bouncer looks fun


it looks REALLY uncomfortable
EscPlan9
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States2777 Posts
February 18 2009 22:39 GMT
#30
A friend of mine used to work at Fleshlight and shipped me one for free. At first it was awesome - much better than the 5-finger method. But it requires maintainence which is a pain. It only takes a couple minutes where you soak it in soapy water, and then you let it dry for a few hours. If that was all there was to the maintainence, I would still like the product. Here's the biggest problem: the feel of the material degrades over time. You have to cake it regularly with baby powder or corn starch to keep it from feeling tacky and gross. Even when I tried maintaining it like that, I never could get it to feel right again.

I don't recommend getting one.
Undefeated TL Tecmo Super Bowl League Champion
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
February 18 2009 22:47 GMT
#31
lawl ads for that float around everywhere.
Hello
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
February 18 2009 22:55 GMT
#32
I had one and I got rid of it cuz it was too much hassle
JWD
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States12607 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-18 23:02:11
February 18 2009 23:01 GMT
#33
On February 19 2009 07:55 travis wrote:
I had one and I got rid of it cuz it was too much hassle


woman, or fleshlight?
+ Show Spoiler +
sorry, I had to
✌
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
February 18 2009 23:44 GMT
#34
On February 19 2009 08:01 JWD wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 07:55 travis wrote:
I had one and I got rid of it cuz it was too much hassle


woman, or fleshlight?
+ Show Spoiler +
sorry, I had to


lol, pics or it didn't happen
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
February 19 2009 00:00 GMT
#35
On February 19 2009 08:44 emperorchampion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 19 2009 08:01 JWD wrote:
On February 19 2009 07:55 travis wrote:
I had one and I got rid of it cuz it was too much hassle


woman, or fleshlight?
+ Show Spoiler +
sorry, I had to


lol, pics or it didn't happen

??
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
renegade_zerg
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Korea (South)525 Posts
February 19 2009 01:04 GMT
#36
lol, pics or it didn't happen[/QUOTE]


thats a little bit weird dude
b3tty
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada216 Posts
February 19 2009 01:09 GMT
#37
looks kinda rough in there.
Mindcrime
Profile Joined July 2004
United States6899 Posts
February 19 2009 01:09 GMT
#38
I lol'd hard at the body bouncer.
That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.
tdotkrayz
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States136 Posts
February 19 2009 04:54 GMT
#39
On February 19 2009 07:39 EscPlan9 wrote:
A friend of mine used to work at Fleshlight and shipped me one for free. At first it was awesome - much better than the 5-finger method. But it requires maintainence which is a pain. It only takes a couple minutes where you soak it in soapy water, and then you let it dry for a few hours. If that was all there was to the maintainence, I would still like the product. Here's the biggest problem: the feel of the material degrades over time. You have to cake it regularly with baby powder or corn starch to keep it from feeling tacky and gross. Even when I tried maintaining it like that, I never could get it to feel right again.

I don't recommend getting one.


Thanks for actually answering my question

I was waiting for someone to do that...
KizZBG
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
u gotta skate8152 Posts
February 19 2009 22:10 GMT
#40
I guess you have to lubricate it everytime as well? :/
eSTRO for life | #2 Sea.Really fan! | #1 GosI[Flying] fan! | Clide - best SC2 terran!
Hittegods
Profile Joined April 2007
Stockholm4640 Posts
February 20 2009 03:44 GMT
#41
I do find this ad a bit amusing. "I have a girl but I'd rather have her use the fleshlight on me, fuck actual sex"
NSFW!
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
This neo violence, pure self defiance
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
February 20 2009 03:54 GMT
#42
On February 19 2009 06:35 MiniRoman wrote:
did you just start watching porn today? fleshlight been around forever ;O!

everyone needs one of these: http://www.bodybouncer.com/

THE BODY BOUNCER, safe for work and roflll

199$ o_o
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
yoshtodd
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States418 Posts
February 20 2009 04:12 GMT
#43
On February 20 2009 12:44 Hittegods wrote:
I do find this ad a bit amusing. "I have a girl but I'd rather have her use the fleshlight on me, fuck actual sex"
NSFW!
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


lol that's hilarious. Fleshlight must obviously be good!
moo
Fr33t
Profile Joined June 2008
United States1128 Posts
February 20 2009 04:32 GMT
#44
Or the girl really isn't a girl x.x
"Wow you could literally transport Lomo's face to a girl and the result would be pretty deceptive."
So no fek
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States3001 Posts
February 21 2009 16:19 GMT
#45
So fitting that I just read this topic today:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2911878


But yeah, I'm attracted to the fleshlight in a "I'd like to try that out once." sense. >_>
#1 Shuttle fan - TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #36 BW4lyfe
MarklarMarklar
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Fiji1823 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-21 22:21:07
February 21 2009 22:20 GMT
#46
prolly sux, like tickling yourself. Doesnt work. Real thing is the only thing.
hello there
Loanshark
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
China3094 Posts
February 21 2009 23:55 GMT
#47
On February 19 2009 06:16 tdotkrayz wrote:
Lol, I might be asking the wrong website.


Yeah, maybe.
No dough, no go. And no mercy.
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-22 01:13:44
February 22 2009 01:08 GMT
#48
On February 19 2009 06:35 MiniRoman wrote:
did you just start watching porn today? fleshlight been around forever ;O!

everyone needs one of these: http://www.bodybouncer.com/

THE BODY BOUNCER, safe for work and roflll



ROFL @ GIFS

[image loading]

[image loading]

[image loading]


[image loading]


lol at gif names.

http://www.bodybouncer.com/groovegallery.html

omg i found more

[image loading]



LOL at this one cause it doesn't even do anything you can't do already!
[image loading]
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-24 12:28:18
February 24 2009 12:17 GMT
#49
You can squat and do her like that? Like doggy but shes lowered her rear and your just squatting there at 45 degrees with your massive legs holding you up while you pound away... right.........
I suppose you could just kneel, but sitting must be better
Also I'm getting the feeling it would kinda be like a rocking horse, just a lot better.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
February 24 2009 13:58 GMT
#50
HAHAHAHA that thing sure could help when really drunk
why so 진지해?
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
February 24 2009 16:12 GMT
#51
haha my old roommate had one of those things. One time he just left it sitting in the sink because he didn't know how to clean it. Most disgusting thing ever.
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
February 24 2009 16:28 GMT
#52
[image loading]

lol what, I don't even see how that's helpful at all.
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 24 2009 16:38 GMT
#53
On February 25 2009 01:28 koreasilver wrote:
[image loading]

lol what, I don't even see how that's helpful at all.

At least it probably reminds him of the good old days.
[image loading]
lesser_good
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Canada698 Posts
February 24 2009 16:53 GMT
#54
lol ^
pew pew
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
February 24 2009 20:34 GMT
#55
On February 25 2009 01:28 koreasilver wrote:
[image loading]

lol what, I don't even see how that's helpful at all.

i dont see how thats possible at all
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Turbovolver
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Australia2394 Posts
February 24 2009 21:31 GMT
#56
I have a few of the Japanese ones, they are a fun alternative to masturbation and yes I am in a long term relationship. What, do you think vibrators are only for loser, desperate women?

I also haven't noticed any degradation like the other guy said about fleshlight, I certainly haven't been using any corn starch lolz

Of course proper sex feels better, but you might be surprised. The tightest of these kinds of toys is definitely tighter than a real girl, and if you warm them by soaking in warm water then you get the warmth aspect too. Sex is better because of the connection, and all the other fun things you can do =)
The original Bogus fan.
Synthesis
Profile Joined August 2008
Canada167 Posts
February 25 2009 21:44 GMT
#57
[image loading]
TrainReq
Profile Joined January 2009
Canada113 Posts
February 25 2009 22:29 GMT
#58
On February 26 2009 06:44 Synthesis wrote:
[image loading]


BAHAHAHAHA.
Don't put your fingers where you wouldn't put your dick.
Normal
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