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I don't know why, but I'm going to post a blog about a girl like everyone else here does.
I knew her for a while, we go to the same church, she's cute, fobby even though she's been in America for like 5 years. I never had any interest in her but alot of other guys did and still do.
Anyway, we're cool and stuff and then somehow she says we're married. Of course, its a joke, I play along, I think it started because a friend of mine and a girl he likes started it so we kinda did too. I didn't think it would last long, just like a one time deal but it kept going and soon I actually was interested in her. I guess I'm insecure or really up tight (something I shouldn't be) but I get like angry when other guys are talking to her and I know I shouldn't be, but its not like I get mad at them or anything. She always tells me she loves me, but if you say it in korean, its kinda more like a friendly way. One day she tells me that a guy asked her out and I asked what her response was and she said no, I have you (referring to myself) I was sorta suprised, I knew that guy and they were always talking, at least on facebook. She's probably kidding about why she said no anyway.
This girl is pretty popular around the korean population, where I live there's not too many. She went out with older guys, one guy was super rich and the other guy was like a bi polar dude but he's cool.
And now for some reason around the same time I was starting to like her, I stopped masturbating, something I thought I could not stop and I'll probably start again soon. it's only been like a week but the last time I did it was while watching porn. Then I just stop, its been long and hard but I think I can keep it up. I also started working out more, nothing too much but I got a set of benches for 15 bucks from a guy going off to college so I've been using that.
Although I criticized that sqwert dude in the other blog about him being emo about that girl he likes, I feel like I'm in a similar situation. He likes that girl alot and feels that if it doesnt work out now, its over. She keeps playing around, I don't know if she's serious. But I'm not gonna stop being friends with her if it doesnt work out, it probably wont work out between us anyway. There are so many other guys waiting for her, all well.
/end venting
 
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I guess this is one of those girl mixed message schemes ;o XD lilsusie should be able to help you decipher whether she really means what she says!
ugh, girls
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Then I just stop, its been long and hard but I think I can keep it up.
wat
well, good luck~!
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On September 03 2008 14:14 paper wrote:wat well, good luck~!
LMAO I just realized its like a pun. lmoa lmoa lmao
ROFLROFL
thanks
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Yeah, I vote we get some english translations from her actions by lilsusie.
Seriously though, I feel you. I don't think you should put too much into the relationship though. As my good english teacher always said, "When dating a women, always keep a part of you inside." That way if she breaks your heart, you still have your core that you can cling to. The core that you know is yourself.
But fuck it, what do I know, I'm the one who got heartbroken by one girl for a year. I still haven't gotten everything together yet. :/
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It sounds like you basically have a really big crush on the girl. I know it's obvious, but that's the point.
Don't fret man. Everyone has been in that situation with that type of girl. I was, and it didn't go very well. I guess the crush/relationship gets more complicated when you feel like you have a solid chance with her. I felt like that, because she led me on.
I was a emotional wreak for months my Junior year of High School, and looking back at it I regret putting so much effort into trying to make the relationship work. I know it's hard, but you're going to have to really put it into perspective.
If you feel you honestly care deeply about her. Go for it, but don't be surprised if she doesn't feel the same way. In another perspective this could be a temporary infatuation that will eventually pass.
I feel your vent though man. It's reminding me of the past. I actually came to terms with my feelings with the girl, and I still talk to her on AIM occasionally. I don't care about her anymore like that, she's just a friend.
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paper, nice catch
hahahahaa
if it was intentional, then, amazing
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3861 Posts
i'd love to try and interpret but girls like her even confuse me. the ones who play with you and dont tell you anything up front. it's like a defense mechanism, ya know? she's testing waters on you and kinda with you until she either 1) finds something better 2) figures out that she's got you wrapped around her finger or 3) gets bored.
i'd say for you to hold onto your heart on this one.
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Some girls flirt just for the hell of it but I don't think she's like that.
If you had to make me decide I'd say that she wouldn't mind going out with you. Not like she specifically wants to go out with you, but she'd feel comfortable being your girlfriend. But please, don't take my word for it.
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thats the kind of girl im talking about in my blog
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Ok thanks guys and girl, I read everyones comment. Helping alot.
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And another thing, one day we will talk for a long time and just have fun and the next time we meet, she doesn't talk at all. Makes me disapointed, like what is she really thinking? I get happy then hurt and it always ends in a bad way. 
On September 03 2008 14:50 sqwert wrote:
thats the kind of girl im talking about in my blog
Yeah doesnt it suck yet feel good at the same time.
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3861 Posts
i really think she's kinda stringing you along. maybe she's doing that because she thinks that you dont like her in that way? so you're kind of some safety net or a conquest of some sort? is she the
"tee hee 오빠, 이거사줘~" type?
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if you're her "husband" then ask her to go out on a date... because you can say you haven't been out on one in years since you got married.
depending on how she takes it (in that specific situation) or when you actually go out on the "date" you can see if she's actually interested... i ASSUME you can read body language (?)... then you should have your answer unless she's naturally just flirty with everyone. in that case, you actually have to use conversation to figure it out (which is harder unfortunately). But in general, you can tell for the most part through body language....
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On September 03 2008 14:58 lilsusie wrote:
i really think she's kinda stringing you along. maybe she's doing that because she thinks that you dont like her in that way? so you're kind of some safety net or a conquest of some sort? is she the
"tee hee 오빠, 이거사줘~" type?
Yeah, maybe. I am like a year younger than her but we're in the same grade. What do you mea im a safety net or a coquest? She's not really like that to me but she's kinda like that to older guys, she is like those I'm always a cute fob type girl, if you know what I mean, she really is pretty.
Btw her bdays coming up, maybe I should buy her something.
On September 03 2008 15:07 eshlow wrote:
if you're her "husband" then ask her to go out on a date... because you can say you haven't been out on one in years since you got married.
depending on how she takes it (in that specific situation) or when you actually go out on the "date" you can see if she's actually interested... i ASSUME you can read body language (?)... then you should have your answer unless she's naturally just flirty with everyone. in that case, you actually have to use conversation to figure it out (which is harder unfortunately). But in general, you can tell for the most part through body language....
She doesn't really flirt that much, she gets kinda mad (probably just joking way) when I look at other girls, I kinda do it on purpose to see if she's for real or not. What sort of body language do you mean?
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:O Life always seems to be this way... Good luck, il0seonpurpose! I think you should just make a move and see what happens. If nothing does, then you can finally forget about this fool. There's no reason to wrap so many heart strings around something you don't fully understand.
What do you mea im a safety net or a coquest?
She's trying to warn you not to become the person this girl goes to as second choice if her initial romantic interests don't work out. If she knows you're interested in her and isn't dropping any clues she is too, then she might just be keeping you around as back up so she can always feel like she's popular and well liked. Some people hinge their self-esteem based on whether or not they are in a relationship.
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Thanks psychotemplar, but we go to the same church and its small, dont want things to be awkward.
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3861 Posts
like.. with the other oppas, she feels that she needs to play the cute younger girl role. and maybe she feels that since they are oppas, that they would like her or that she sees them as relationship possibilties (for some reason fobby korean girls dont like dating guys younger - but that's just my own observation) but with you she feels like she can just joke around without the fear of it actually becoming anything.
i agree with eshlow, as her out on a date and first, see if she takes it as a date or just a "two of you hanging out" thing. see if she invites anyone else out. and yeah, read her body language when it's just the 2 of you.
ps: ALL girls will get jealous if you look at another woman. dont ever let them tell you otherwise. it's like, built in.
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On September 03 2008 15:11 lilsusie wrote:
like.. with the other oppas, she feels that she needs to play the cute younger girl role. and maybe she feels that since they are oppas, that they would like her or that she sees them as relationship possibilties (for some reason fobby korean girls dont like dating guys younger - but that's just my own observation) but with you she feels like she can just joke around without the fear of it actually becoming anything.
i agree with eshlow, as her out on a date and first, see if she takes it as a date or just a "two of you hanging out" thing. see if she invites anyone else out. and yeah, read her body language when it's just the 2 of you.
ps: ALL girls will get jealous if you look at another woman. dont ever let them tell you otherwise.
yeah you're right and i think in general, girls like dating older guys. and why do other girls get jealous if nothings serious? like even friends get mad at that?
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Thanks psychotemplar, but we go to the same church and its small, dont want things to be awkward.
Are you sure it isn't awkward already if you like her but can never say so? :O It's not such a big deal if you get rejected and have to see her again often... You will survive 
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3861 Posts
haha i get jealous even when i'm with gay friends and they look at another girl. it's more of a competition thing. is she thinner? does she look better? what's her hair like? etc? i dunno why, it just is. why do men get boners in the middle of the afternoon in class? who know - it just happens. same thing. jealousy is just some strange innate thing that all women have. it's just the mature ones who know how to deal with it when it 'arises'.
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I'll ask her but I don't know if the times good right now, shes all stressed out cuz of school.
And another pretty suprising thing, we were walking at church (thats mostly when I see her) and she sees a cute baby, and so she says like I want one like that. And I say, I'll help you. she starts laughing but she seemed sorta suprised so I felt bad. later, I'm playing ball and shes talking to this one dude and tells me I knocked her up, just playing around. she then asked me how many condoms we used, I was like whatt? and shes like I think we used like 10 boxes. And she isnt the usual to say stuff like that
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why do men get boners in the middle of the afternoon in class?
Either we're 13 and can't help it, or the class is very boring and our thoughts drift to things unwholesome.
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Or it just happens, I get boners for some random reason.
And also, about susie saying girls get jealous, she keeps reminding me that we're married and i shouldnt be staring at other girls. like im talking about the wondergirls and she reminded me... its weird, she kinda does it too much? but i like it
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
lmao you are soooo not getting with her
hahahahahhaa
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On September 03 2008 15:07 il0seonpurpose wrote:Show nested quote +On September 03 2008 15:07 eshlow wrote:
if you're her "husband" then ask her to go out on a date... because you can say you haven't been out on one in years since you got married.
depending on how she takes it (in that specific situation) or when you actually go out on the "date" you can see if she's actually interested... i ASSUME you can read body language (?)... then you should have your answer unless she's naturally just flirty with everyone. in that case, you actually have to use conversation to figure it out (which is harder unfortunately). But in general, you can tell for the most part through body language.... She doesn't really flirt that much, she gets kinda mad (probably just joking way) when I look at other girls, I kinda do it on purpose to see if she's for real or not. What sort of body language do you mean?
Uh, here's a decent article on some basic body language. Take it with a grain of salt though (not every woman acts the same and some aren't universal). For instance, playing with hair can signify interest or nervousness.
http://ezinearticles.com/?8-Hidden-Secrets-For-Reading-Female-Body-Language&id=798474
From what I've seen (one of the examples that is true) if they're generally NOT touchy feely and they get touchy feely with you... for example, puts her hand on your arm when she laughs at a joke you made... then it's a definite sign of attraction. Well, hell if you have horrible jokes and she laughs at them that's another sign of attraction, heh.
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On September 03 2008 15:17 il0seonpurpose wrote:
I'll ask her but I don't know if the times good right now, shes all stressed out cuz of school.
And another pretty suprising thing, we were walking at church (thats mostly when I see her) and she sees a cute baby, and so she says like I want one like that. And I say, I'll help you. she starts laughing but she seemed sorta suprised so I felt bad. later, I'm playing ball and shes talking to this one dude and tells me I knocked her up, just playing around. she then asked me how many condoms we used, I was like whatt? and shes like I think we used like 10 boxes. And she isnt the usual to say stuff like that
Oh common, man. Unless she's 6 months pregnant, it's not a "bad time." People always have things to stress and worry about. It sounds like either you're going to teach her she shouldn't flirt so much with guys she isn't interested in, or she's leaving hints for you to do something 'bold.' I really hope you do ask her out, because I think you'll be pleased by the results.
Or it just happens, I get boners for some random reason.
I get a boner when a girl says we should have tea together... I don't know why, but it excites me. Haven't gotten them for no reason whatsoever since I first went thru puberty though :O
PS: I wish Rekrul posted in my blogs... I would be so honoured, even if it was insulting.
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3861 Posts
On September 03 2008 15:20 Rekrul wrote:
lmao you are soooo not getting with her
hahahahahhaa
ahaha he'd know best on how korean girls work. there's your verdict. 
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On September 03 2008 15:25 PsycHOTemplar wrote:Show nested quote +On September 03 2008 15:17 il0seonpurpose wrote:
I'll ask her but I don't know if the times good right now, shes all stressed out cuz of school.
And another pretty suprising thing, we were walking at church (thats mostly when I see her) and she sees a cute baby, and so she says like I want one like that. And I say, I'll help you. she starts laughing but she seemed sorta suprised so I felt bad. later, I'm playing ball and shes talking to this one dude and tells me I knocked her up, just playing around. she then asked me how many condoms we used, I was like whatt? and shes like I think we used like 10 boxes. And she isnt the usual to say stuff like that Oh common, man. Unless she's 6 months pregnant, it's not a "bad time." People always have things to stress and worry about. It sounds like either you're going to teach her she shouldn't flirt so much with guys she isn't interested in, or she's leaving hints for you to do something 'bold.' I really hope you do ask her out, because I think you'll be pleased by the results. I get a boner when a girl says we should have tea together... I don't know why, but it excites me. Haven't gotten them for no reason whatsoever since I first went thru puberty though :O PS: I wish Rekrul posted in my blogs... I would be so honoured, even if it was insulting.
in what way does it sound like i was trying to teach her not to flirt with other guys? i dont wanna sound offending btw
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I didn't say you should be trying to teach her that... I just meant that it's a practical offshoot you can feel good about even if it doesn't work out. Just making the world a better place one person at a time, you know? That whatever you do, there's a bright side, so you shouldn't be worried about what happens. I don't know... It's how I reason with myself sometimes; It might not work for you.
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Make the Move To Smooth Yo.
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She is playing with you.
Resist, don't give any emotions to her.
Try to get together, if you get horny for her you lose all.
If you want to counterattack, find another girl and give attention to her - but she must eigher see it, and you must talk with her about it.
Jealousy is the weapon of choice.
[edit]
Be warned though she may counterattack back...
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ask her to 1v1 to find out her true feelings
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Netherlands4511 Posts
Stop thinking so much and just act on what you feel like man.Girls aren't worth the headaches.
Movement is crucial, don't wait too long asking her out, make progress.
You will learn with each new experience. And if you and her are meant to be, it will work itself out.
p.s LilSusie go on a date with me?!
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yeah, make your move so you can get on with live.
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Calgary25980 Posts
Cute fobby asians... o god my only weakness...
Anyways yea sounds like she doesnt have much interest in you to be honest, just considers you a really good friend. To change this you'd have to grow some confidence and not play into her hand time and time again.
Of course it's hard to be certain given that all our information is coming first hand.
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On September 03 2008 20:15 XCetron wrote:
ask her to 1v1 to find out her true feelings
That was a hit, and a miss. Especially when this guy wants real advice about his problem.
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Ask her out half jokingly and find out what's going on.
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On September 04 2008 01:08 Phyre wrote:
Ask her out half jokingly and find out what's going on.
thats what I said
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Any ideas asking her half jokingly? I always wanted to but think that the response would be bad and it would be weird
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Wait what the heck why did my blog come back so you can directly click the link? There are more recent ones
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"So <insert cute nickname for a wife like "love", "honey", etc>, I'm thinking of going out to eat tonight. What are you in the mood for?"
"Today is our <number> anniversary, want to <see a movie, get dinner, etc>"
etc.
The ongoing joke between you two is that you're "married" so run with that. She is playing around with you using this joke, so do the same. Don't say it too seriously, obviously. You want to make it blatantly obvious that it's a joke, aim for making it very over the top, possibly even comedic. Seriously, just imagine what a newly wed husband would say to his wife if he wanted to take her out for a night on the town and say that. Just make it over the top so it's obvious that you're joking.
Best case scenario: She plays along and runs further with the joke. If she stays in her role as your "wife" then she'll go out on this "date" with you.
Worst case scenario: She gets weirded out by your statement. In this case, just play it off like you were joking. Follow up with something like "Well, that's not very wife-like" or something to that effect.
Other possible scenarios would be if she does something in between, like she stays in character but still turns you down. Like if she says "Not tonight honey, <insert excuse here>" to which you could follow up by continuing the act. "Well, when will my beautiful wife be free?" Just throw in lots of adjectives and stuff, make it comical. This whole thing fails if you can't do this with a big smile/grin on your face to make it abundantly obvious you're playing around.
The goal is to not let her fully get the message that you're seriously trying to get a date, rather you're still playing around within the bounds of the scenario (you're married) that she created. I mean come on, she joked that you were having kids. I think you could get away with plenty. If she turns you down, keep that smile/grin on your face and just back off jokingly and stay in character (husband). She handed you quite the helping hand by creating this situation, makes it really easy for you to say all kinds of stuff and get away with it if you say it right.
I obviously don't know her that well, but if you're really terrible with this stuff on the fly just tell us a few things that you might say and what you are worried she might say. I'm sure your fellow TLers can help you come up with decent material.
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[QUOTE]On September 03 2008 14:17 SiegeTanksandBlueGoo wrote:
Yeah, I vote we get some english translations from her actions by lilsusie.
Seriously though, I feel you. I don't think you should put too much into the relationship though. As my good english teacher always said, "When dating a women, always keep a part of you inside." That way if she breaks your heart, you still have your core that you can cling to. The core that you know is yourself.
But fuck it, what do I know, I'm the one who got heartbroken by one girl for a year. I still haven't gotten everything together yet. :/[/QUOT
Well said. I agree totally. Never make someone your everything, cuz when you lose that person, you have nothing. gg no re
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I'm in a similar situation, i'm tempted to write a blog about it.
Anyway, gL with your girl, i don't have any advice because im kinda in the same thing and don't know what to do.
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Thanks phyre, that sounds like a really good idea. and letsbefree, thanks for bringing that up, I'll remember not to make her my everything, haha.
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EPT
