semioldguy
**Redacted**
Blogs > semioldguy |
semioldguy
United States7488 Posts
semioldguy **Redacted** | ||
MyCrow
Korea (South)248 Posts
Greatest. Ever. | ||
Duke
United States1106 Posts
the stories he creates usually involve me getting fucking hugely fat, and him launching hoagies via cannon down my throat while i beat starcraft foes into submission. A variation of this is that our group of friends would own a videogame store where I would be confined to a wheelchair while the runt of the group is forced to hand-feed me and change my diapers | ||
Insane
United States4991 Posts
What the fuck, man? <hr> SOG: That was a lot less kinky than I expected it was going to be when I heard role playing and saw the participants were you and a girl. | ||
Chef
10810 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + [02:03] Ed: I've been having really fucked up dreams lena, I need you tell me to dream of something good so I don't have another tonighttttt :o [02:03] LeŅa: dream about marrying a really pretty lady whos obsessed with you [02:04] Ed: :o [02:04] Ed: deal [02:04] LeŅa: gg! [02:04] Ed: but the ceremony is held the great green fields of scotland :D [02:04] Ed: and sean connery will be my best man [02:05] LeŅa: okkkay and i'll bring you a toaster [02:05] Ed: what a lame gift [02:05] Ed: you cop out [02:05] Ed: you can bring anything you want to my imaginary wedding [02:05] Ed: and you bring a fucking toaster [02:05] Ed: weak lena... realllly weak [02:06] LeŅa: hmmm how about [02:06] LeŅa: a dozen eggs? [02:06] Ed: you're just busting the budget huh? [02:06] Ed: they better be cleverly decorated [02:06] LeŅa: LOL [02:07] Ed: you're not invited to my imaginary wedding if you don't bring something at least 3 times as cool as a toaster [02:08] LeŅa: lol [02:08] LeŅa: WHAT ABOUT IF I BRING YOU AND INFLATABLE MARTHA STEWART? [02:08] Ed: NAAAAAO! [02:10] Ed: okay, you can bring a toaster [02:10] Ed: but only if [02:10] Ed: it can toast 20 slices of bread at the same time [02:10] Ed: and can tell the time in 40 different time zones [02:11] Ed: and it has a compas [02:11] LeŅa: lol [02:11] Ed: and it says "I hope this toast will bring joy to your day" [02:11] Ed: and I can pat it, and it will purrr [02:12] LeŅa: LOL [02:13] Ed: well, I'm off to try and go to sleep [02:13] Ed: I SHALL SEE YOU THERE [02:13] LeŅa: night [02:13] Ed: night | ||
semioldguy
United States7488 Posts
On August 30 2008 05:13 HnR)Insane wrote: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ What the fuck, man? SOG: That was a lot less kinky than I expected it was going to be when I heard role playing and saw the participants were you and a girl. I didn't try to imply kinky... I even use "bland" in the description. There are children on this site Peter! and I generally don't share kinky stuff. | ||
XCetron
5225 Posts
rofl reading this never gets old. | ||
Ozarugold
2716 Posts
Oh...my...god. Epic LoLs~ | ||
semioldguy
United States7488 Posts
I know there are lot more in this line... I'm going to go look for them. Bloodninja! + Show Spoiler + Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch. Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay. Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough. Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty. Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good. Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm. Sarah19fca: you like that? Bloodninja: I peel some bananas. Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Sarah19fca: Peanuts? Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh. Sarah19fca: What are you talking about? Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Sarah19fca: This is stupid. Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh. Sarah19fca: /ignore Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway. Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. --------------- Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate: Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate: I want everything, baby! Bloodninja: Is this a delivery? DirtyKate: Umm...Yes DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja: How did you know? Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate: What the fuck? DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit DirtyKate: Fuck ------------------ Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables? Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that. Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) MommyMelissa: is that it? Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily. Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains. MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT. MommyMelissa: ... Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here. Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. MommyMelissa: whatever. ------- Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja. Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. Bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece. Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. Bloodninja: Baby? ---------------- Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass. j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious. Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli13: thats it. Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. Bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now. ------------- BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something sweet17: Hi Bloodninja: hello Bloodninja: who is this? sweet17: just a someone? Bloodninja: A someone I know? sweet17: nope Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me? sweet17: well sorrrrrry sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you Bloodninja: why? sweet17: nevermind your an jerk Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute sweet17: yes? Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid sweet17: paranoid? Bloodninja: yes sweet17: of what? sweet17: me? Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding. sweet17: LOL Bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me! Bloodninja: This shit is serious! sweet17: What are you hiding from? Bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: gimme a fucking break Bloodninja: I'm serious. sweet17: I don't get it Bloodninja: The cops are after me. sweet17: For what? Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states sweet17: For??? Bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing. Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey. Bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You are fucking sick. Bloodninja: Send me your picture. sweet17: why? Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them. sweet17: One of what? Bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you Bloodninja: Then send me your picture. sweet17: hold on Bloodninja: Hurry up. Bloodninja: Are you there? Bloodninja: Fuck you, cop! sweet17: Hey sorry sweet17: I had to do something for my mom. Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities. Bloodninja: Weren't you!? sweet17: thats not it Bloodninja: Then what? sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Bloodninja: Most cops aren't sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE! Bloodninja: Then send me the picture. sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail? Bloodninja: Just send it through here. sweet17: alright *PIC* sweet17: Did you get it? Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking. sweet17: That was me back in may sweet17: I've lost weight since then. Bloodninja: I hope so sweet17: what?!? sweet17: that hurt my feelings. Bloodninja: Did it? sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? sweet17: yes Bloodninja: Alright let me find it. sweet17: kks Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC* sweet17: this isn't you. Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't! sweet17: You don't look like that. Bloodninja: How the hell do you know? sweet17: cause your profile has another picture. Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake. Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops. sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries. sweet17: Go fuck yourself Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week. sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me. sweet17: you hurt me. Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me! Bloodninja: Why would I do that? sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. sweet17: FUCK YOU!!! Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs. sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE! sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry. sweet17: No you aren't Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not. Bloodninja: HAARRRRR! sweet17: I'm done with you Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry. sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore Bloodninja: Wait a sec Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot. Bloodninja: Wanna start over? sweet17: No Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty sweet17: You'll what? Bloodninja: You heard me. Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty. sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty? sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men. Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways. sweet17: Like what? Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know? sweet17: I don't know Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no. sweet17: I'm afraid to Bloodninja: Why? sweet17: cause Bloodninja: cause why? sweet17: well lets see sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you? Bloodninja: Nope sweet17: well its strange to me Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to sweet17: I didn't say that Bloodninja: So is that a yes? sweet17: I guess so. Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Bloodninja: Are you willing? sweet17: What do you need me to do? Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate. sweet17: ??? Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Bloodninja: ok? Bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You can't be serious Bloodninja: Oh yes I am! Bloodninja: It's my fantasy. sweet17: this is retarded Bloodninja: Do you want it or not? sweet17: Yes I want it. Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me? sweet17: sure Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go. Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty. Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt. sweet17: mmmm yeah Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp. sweet17: Har Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that! Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad. sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke. Bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. sweet17: mmmmmm you are good Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: HARRRRRRR Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth. Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: this is stupid Bloodninja: ...still limp Bloodninja: Do it! sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. sweet17: WTF?!?!? Bloodninja: They stink really bad. sweet17: OMG STOP!!! Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass. sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Bloodninja: I kick you in the face! sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away. Bloodninja: ...going limp again. Bloodninja: Hello? Bloodninja: Say it! Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!! | ||
Equinox_kr
United States7395 Posts
ROFL I LOVE THAT "I PUT ON MY WIZARD ROBE AND HAT" | ||
Duke
United States1106 Posts
"BN Chats" will take you to all the alleged verified bloodninja material. | ||
Equinox_kr
United States7395 Posts
On August 30 2008 05:14 PsycHOTemplar wrote: Whenever I'm feeling incredibly gay, I'll do that type of thing too. + Show Spoiler + [02:03] Ed: I've been having really fucked up dreams lena, I need you tell me to dream of something good so I don't have another tonighttttt :o [02:03] LeŅa: dream about marrying a really pretty lady whos obsessed with you [02:04] Ed: :o [02:04] Ed: deal [02:04] LeŅa: gg! [02:04] Ed: but the ceremony is held the great green fields of scotland :D [02:04] Ed: and sean connery will be my best man [02:05] LeŅa: okkkay and i'll bring you a toaster [02:05] Ed: what a lame gift [02:05] Ed: you cop out [02:05] Ed: you can bring anything you want to my imaginary wedding [02:05] Ed: and you bring a fucking toaster [02:05] Ed: weak lena... realllly weak [02:06] LeŅa: hmmm how about [02:06] LeŅa: a dozen eggs? [02:06] Ed: you're just busting the budget huh? [02:06] Ed: they better be cleverly decorated [02:06] LeŅa: LOL [02:07] Ed: you're not invited to my imaginary wedding if you don't bring something at least 3 times as cool as a toaster [02:08] LeŅa: lol [02:08] LeŅa: WHAT ABOUT IF I BRING YOU AND INFLATABLE MARTHA STEWART? [02:08] Ed: NAAAAAO! [02:10] Ed: okay, you can bring a toaster [02:10] Ed: but only if [02:10] Ed: it can toast 20 slices of bread at the same time [02:10] Ed: and can tell the time in 40 different time zones [02:11] Ed: and it has a compas [02:11] LeŅa: lol [02:11] Ed: and it says "I hope this toast will bring joy to your day" [02:11] Ed: and I can pat it, and it will purrr [02:12] LeŅa: LOL [02:13] Ed: well, I'm off to try and go to sleep [02:13] Ed: I SHALL SEE YOU THERE [02:13] LeŅa: night [02:13] Ed: night LOL WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT HAHAHA | ||
Chef
10810 Posts
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Pholon
Netherlands6142 Posts
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powa
United States58 Posts
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