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Hey TL
It was 7-8+ months since I was permanently banned (rightfully so), by the grace of God and the forgiveness of the mods I was let back in, I already know that there will be a long list of people who disagree with their decision, rightfully so. Through therapy, psychiatric help, medication, etc. I finally feel like I am a more balanced person, I finally feel like for the first time in my life that I am beginning to stabilize and have more coherent thoughts. I was diagnosed with extreme anxiety / panic attacks, and possibly depression. I am working with the doctors to get to the root cause of everything, but I believe it had a lot to do with my childhood and the way I grew up. Also, self-medicating most of my life (Cannabis / Alcohol, never any hard drugs).
I am not going to sit here and make excuses for my behavior, rudeness, negativity, pain or any harm or hurtfulness I have caused anyone in this community, I am only sincerely making an attempt through this blog and through future contributing actions to give back to this community that I love dearly.
Over the time I was banned I sat and thought a lot about how I treat / treated people, the persona I carried, and how much of a negative person I was being not only to others, but to myself. I grew up playing StarCraft, I grew up in this community, although I never really felt like a part of the community due to my ridiculous actions, I love the game and I love the community.
I started to realize that I used the game as a way of escape which I'm sure many of us do, but I also used it as a way to vent anger / frustration / anxiety / hatred, etc.... And for that I feel terrible.
I grew up as a child at 2 years old playing NES, then SNES, then N64, then GameCube, and then once I discovered StarCraft I just don't feel the same playing any other game, since I discovered StarCraft I can almost not enjoy any other game. I bought a PS5 to try, and I just cannot receive the same sense of achievement / accomplishment from any other game, then I do from StarCraft. That is just a little back story.
The main point of this blog is to give a sincere apology from the bottom of my heart ot anyone in this community that I have hurt, been rude to, offended, discouraged, or anything negative at all. I know that a lot of you will probably think "Oh look, telecom is making another bullshit blog apology again, and hes saying hes changed again"
I realize that I have apologized before, but this time it is different. I recently had the opportunity to join ROOT gaming, not because I am a pro gamer or even remotely good at SC2, I used to be GrandMasters a few times in HOTS but I am not on the same level as the rest of the team. But it has re inspired me to be a good gamer again, and out of complete respect for CatZ because he is the most chill / relaxed and peaceful gamer I have ever witnessed, that is another reason that has inspired me to change my ways and become not only a different type of gamer, but a different type of person.
I know that forgiveness cannot be purchased or bought, but I have never really given back anything to this community aside from negativity and a few tournaments I was given the amazing opportunity to host through AfreecaTV.
I want everyone to know that I will be hosting cash events for the BW Foreign scene and possibly show matches with the highly skilled players of [WHITE] clan. I have been just working and saving for years now and I finally feel financially stable enough to do something that I know in my heart is the right thing to do. So again, I would like to sincerely apologize to the entire TL community and especially the BW Foreign community, I hope that the people of this community can find it within themselves to forgive me (or even forgive me again) for the terrible things I have said in the past.
I will honor my word, I am a little busy until after christmas with work / traveling, but beginning in January I will be hosting cash events and beginning with the sums of 500$ - 1K$. Everyone will be allowed to participate, except Koreans players. And I have already spoken to [WHITE] clan master about show matches, I will pay for. So there will be content coming. Aside from the BW Foreign events, I am thinkinking of funding showmatches involving BeSt and some others.
I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and will have a wonderful Christmas / Holidays with you and yours. I hope you all stay safe from Covid and all the craziness going on in the world right now. I pray all of your forgiveness. Thank you for another chance.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and again, I sincerely apologize to you all.
   
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Reformed TelecoM! I'm glad you've found a new path. I hope it brings you happiness, and I look forward to see your contributions to the community! I'm sure there are some that may not afford you a fresh start in their eyes, but I for one hope you are sincere and am glad you are doing well!
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On December 10 2021 08:44 docholiday_tv wrote: Reformed TelecoM! I'm glad you've found a new path. I hope it brings you happiness, and I look forward to see your contributions to the community! I'm sure there are some that may not afford you a fresh start in their eyes, but I for one hope you are sincere and am glad you are doing well! Thank you doc, really. I greatly appreciate you of all people saying that, because I know I was very rude to you in the past.
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Canada8552 Posts
I'm not the most active on the BW side of thing, but one more nice chap on TL is always welcome. Happy to know you are doing better and welcome back!
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I have no idea what has been going on with you, Telecom, nor I care enough to check. Yet if a simple, temporary and irrelevant ban from a nerdy web forum has served as a wake up call and triggered a profound change in your mentality, this ban is a most welcome event and I'm sincerely glad it has helped you sort things out. Stay resolved and improve steadily, I wish you all the best.
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dude
good stuff
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I have a feeling that this is not the first time you've issued an apology like that... I guess we have all got a bit older.. Anyway one thing that's clear to see is your passion for BW. Welcome back and good luck.
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United Kingdom11982 Posts
I've always somewhat taken your side and believed you could change and I'm glad you feel in a better place man. Good luck with everything you're planning!
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Apology accepted! Not that you ever did me any wrong. A sign of the end of times? ^_._^
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Growth is hard as hell, admitting mistakes is hard has hell. Impressive you did both, good luck on the journey.
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Don't believe you but I look forward to being proven wrong.
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United States24273 Posts
See, I told you forwarded your request to the correct department.
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Thanks for all of the positive feedback and messages.
On December 11 2021 09:39 micronesia wrote: See, I told you forwarded your request to the correct department.
Thank you sir.
On December 11 2021 07:23 NrG.Bamboo wrote: Don't believe you but I look forward to being proven wrong.
I respect your opinion and understand the reasoning.
On December 10 2021 20:41 Qikz wrote: I've always somewhat taken your side and believed you could change and I'm glad you feel in a better place man. Good luck with everything you're planning!
Thanks Qikz, it means a lot. I greatly respect all of your hard work you do for the community and with STPL. Maybe we can talk [WHITE] into re entering...? 
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You want to apologize to iRk-Routa for blowing up his PM?
The random group of swedish friends who just happened to play vs you and you harassed them relentlessly on battlenet?
How about how I was trying to give you a chance the last time, defending your actions, and even saying you deserved the opportunity to better yourself?
apology not accepted.
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On December 11 2021 12:55 art_of_turtle wrote: You want to apologize to iRk-Routa for blowing up his PM?
The random group of swedish friends who just happened to play vs you and you harassed them relentlessly on battlenet?
How about how I was trying to give you a chance the last time, defending your actions, and even saying you deserved the opportunity to better yourself?
apology not accepted. Very good point. I'm not sure why I didn't address that, I guess I didn't really want to go into why it all happened but you're right.
To rOuta, I apologize for taking our little grudge match series way too seriously, and all the rude things I said to you. I shouldn't of taken it that seriously. I hope you're doing well and have a happy holidays.
And to you turtle, I am honestly not remembering harassing the random group of swedish friends on bnet, you mean on EU? I don't even play on EU, so actually really don't remember that ever happening.
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On December 11 2021 12:55 art_of_turtle wrote: You want to apologize to iRk-Routa for blowing up his PM?
The random group of swedish friends who just happened to play vs you and you harassed them relentlessly on battlenet?
How about how I was trying to give you a chance the last time, defending your actions, and even saying you deserved the opportunity to better yourself?
apology not accepted.
I've never been in iRk and never will be. Clan red 4 lyfe.
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United States1426 Posts
Wooh reformed Telecom FTW!
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Bisutopia18906 Posts
If you really changed, maybe it’s time for yet another name change. Might I suggest skTelecoM? Welcome back!
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