the best and worst few weeks

FFGenerations

7088 Posts

December 06 2015 00:05 GMT

my new car broke for 3 weeks, towed to 3 different garages, spent £100s so far and expect many more £100s to come, missed many hours from my new job and lots of skipping gym and sleepless mornings and other shit, just got 2 parking tickets coz it became immobile again, maybe i can appeal them, was hiring a super expensive hire car and managed to reverse it into a non-visible pillar 10 minutes before returning it so have no clue what they're gonna charge me for that, worst case i suspect is £1000s lol?? who knows. would gladly drop everything and just take public transport but the best i can do is £6 train + £14 taxi per day which is obviously no good. had some shit with coworkers misunderstanding me etc and basically feeling like emotional wreck, i'm literally a nervous wreck to the point where i literally choke up when i try to speak sometimes (very often) at work and some days feel like crying. the job has good days and bad days, when i'm busy its good because it means they're finding me work to do but when its not busy i sometimes feel like walking out because i'm supposed to be learning programming but i'm way way too dumb for it and make little/no progress. then i get fed up having 1 hour of free time to myself every day of the week (or not getting enough sleep), giving in to spending buttloads on takeaways every week, wondering what the point of it all is

on the other hand

1) i probably get paid enough that i can pay whatever the hire car company shoots me with for crashing their £15k car

2) i can probably pay the £500 i expect to have to pay for my car to be fixed for the 3rd time as i think they will actually address the final problem

3) even though i went like 2 times this and last week, i'm still "around" the gym and running, and i haven't touched a cigarette for maybe 6 weeks (record for me after trying to quit for 8 yrs or wtvr)

4) i bought a ton of nice shiny stuff that i really wanted (i'm usually VERY careful with my purchases) with my 1st and 2nd paycheck, including a new webcam, gorgeous-to-play guitar, high quality headphones, guitar amp (mobile) headphones for practicing at lunch in my car since i have little free time, and some beautiful waifus

5) altho i think i started getting annoying to my coworker for being so shit, i feel like ive gotten better now and turned it around. and altho my bosses still joke about firing me (probation period) and it makes me feel like crying coz i'm a nervous fucking wreck at work, i feel like i have developed some staying power value to the company at least for the time being

6) even with almost no practice at all with guitar the last 3 weeks i'm still progressing and feel ok about it

7) i came up with a "longterm" plan with what i want to do with myself in the future so i think i have something to solid to aim for now (to live for) now

8) this just basically made me tear up and make this blog, it looks so damn close to the original to me, its beautiful. ff7 to me is literally a reason to be happy to have been alive

now i will post some other stuff that i happened upon the past few weeks that is probably on other threads but you can enjoy it blogged too

two new great miku songs and a cool short clip from a miku appearance in mexico (mexico doesnt suck that much)
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russian gymnast who is basically a real life kung fu artist like jackie chan
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cool looking girl i made today in eve online
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