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Active: 1036 users

Bathroom problems #2

Blogs > MysteryMeat1
Post a Reply
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-09-11 18:29:04
April 22 2014 19:16 GMT
#1
What time is it? I asked myself, as i struggled to open my eyes. I looked at the clock as it flashed 8:56. Holy batman i screamed out loud. I have 4 minutes to catch the bus. I jumped out of bed put on my jeans, and rummaged under my covers looking for my missing right sock. Utilizing the speed known only to Usain bolt



I hurdled out the door, skipping my bi-weekly morning ritual of brushing my teeth. I managed to catch the bus, and ride mostly problem free to school. As i got off the bus, and walking to the on campus store to by me some bubble gum, i felt something hit my left sleeve. I continued to walk a couple more steps, when i felt some foreign liquid run down my left hand. Glancing over i saw my jacket sleeve, covered in a massive bird shit. Glancing up i Saw this motherfucka

[image loading]

Cursing the bird to a life of things that eat dirt.
I once again utilized the speed of Usain Bolt



a little slower this time, as i was a bit exhausted from my early endevours.


I ran to the bathroom gagging along the way. Thankfully it was a morning class so there weren't very many people. I managed to wipe away most of it, and stuck the jacket into my backpack.

A wise man once said

"The world is your oyster your shithole"



***
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
vult
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States9400 Posts
April 22 2014 21:25 GMT
#2
That sounds 'shitty' for you.

I've been pooped on by a bird too, shit smells weird and is generally nauseating.
I used to play random, but for you I play very specifically.
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-23 01:37:08
April 23 2014 01:36 GMT
#3
Are you running out of gross blog topics yet? I rather doubt it, but I gotta hope

How'd this shit post get a 4 star rating, even this early on.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
Darkren
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1841 Posts
April 23 2014 02:20 GMT
#4
punchline after number 100
"Yeah, I send (hopefully) helpful PM's quite frequently. You don't have to warn/ban everything" - KadaverBB
-Kaiser-
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Canada932 Posts
April 23 2014 02:55 GMT
#5
You're lucky that bird remembered to tuck in his dick.
3 Hatch Before Cool
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
April 23 2014 03:40 GMT
#6
5/5 for Usain Bolt
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 23 2014 04:45 GMT
#7
My blogs would all be rated higher if you, packrat, and marttorn didnt insta 1/5 my blogs. I thought we were friends to.

Ill post another bathroom blog just for you in a couple of days.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
April 23 2014 05:12 GMT
#8
I actually don't my instinct on any blog I click in is insta 5 stars before thinking, as I tend to only read blogs from people I like. I clearly have to work on that.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 23 2014 05:15 GMT
#9
Did you give me 5/5?
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
April 23 2014 05:21 GMT
#10
Sadly I did this time and the last time.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
3FFA
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States3931 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-24 11:54:50
April 24 2014 11:54 GMT
#11
I insta 4/5 usually so it balances out. :3

Also, nice story. I've never gotten that close to a bird before. How did it make you feel?
"As long as it comes from a pure place and from a honest place, you know, you can write whatever you want."
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 24 2014 19:26 GMT
#12
Felt pretty shitty.

Please insta 5/5 mine from now on :p
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
April 24 2014 20:51 GMT
#13
5/5 this once for your troubles.

This was misleading as only the end of your story took place in the bathroom. This is not a bathroom blog. I was expecting some toilet tales to compare to.
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
April 24 2014 20:57 GMT
#14
Dun wurry MyseryMeat, I always 5/5 ne blogs that ad creativity to blog secton. You is include.

Sentel choose for overlook my bathroom blog because it too good for compare to toilet tails.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 24 2014 21:49 GMT
#15
Just the other day, i was sitting in one of the stalls at uni, when i heard the guy next to me trying to get toilet paper. By the sound he made i deduced that he was out of tp. So i took 2 squares of toilet paper and handed it to him underneath the stall, and told him to use his one wipe wisely.


+ Show Spoiler +
I have found myself lately doing weird stuff in the bathroom, just so i can have a story to tell.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
April 25 2014 03:37 GMT
#16
On April 25 2014 06:49 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Just the other day, i was sitting in one of the stalls at uni, when i heard the guy next to me trying to get toilet paper. By the sound he made i deduced that he was out of tp. So i took 2 squares of toilet paper and handed it to him underneath the stall, and told him to use his one wipe wisely.


I have found myself lately doing weird stuff in the bathroom, just so i can have a story to tell.


Tears of joy

But seriously, give him more than 2 squares. That's not even a wipe. I need at least 5, 10 if it's a shitty brand. 2 is inhuman.
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
April 25 2014 03:41 GMT
#17
On April 25 2014 05:57 Epishade wrote:
Dun wurry MyseryMeat, I always 5/5 ne blogs that ad creativity to blog secton. You is include.

Sentel choose for overlook my bathroom blog because it too good for compare to toilet tails.

toile tael is supranatural tael. epashin tael is ordinary tael and not worth of gold stander restrum award
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-25 04:11:46
April 25 2014 04:03 GMT
#18
On April 25 2014 12:41 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 25 2014 05:57 Epishade wrote:
Dun wurry MyseryMeat, I always 5/5 ne blogs that ad creativity to blog secton. You is include.

Sentel choose for overlook my bathroom blog because it too good for compare to toilet tails.

toile tael is supranatural tael. epashin tael is ordinary tael and not worth of gold stander restrum award


So is fayke then!?! I new it! Alerting news as speak.

Edit: Hot off press!
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
April 25 2014 10:07 GMT
#19
ur formating is bad and u shud fel bad

supranational mean is magic, not is fake, sily
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
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