EPTI didnt write for a long time because of many reasons. Recently there have bin some big changes in my life. Long story short, at one moment I thought that everything was ok, and I had everything I needed in my life, and then, suddenly, I kinda lost everything.
In july I was the happiest person in the world, I started winning cups, clanwars, started to perform much better. Also I made a proposal to the girl I loved, and she said "YES". I was very happy! We spent a wonderful month together, then she went to her hometown to study in the university. We planned to actually get married in 2 years after she finishes her studies. I was confident in my decision, no doubts at all. I felt that everything is right, and, the most important thing, I was happy!
I was going to attend Dreamhack Bucharest and was practicing very hard. I knew there would be a lot of good koreans, but I wasnt scared at all, I didnt practice until my eyes bleed, but played a lot, my priority was on mindset. I imagined playing all the top players as well as the lowest level players, I tried to think about different situations that might happen there to be mentally ready for anything! Unfortunately, because of our manager's mistake, me and Strelok couldnt go there. The Turkish Airlines demanded the credit card that had been used for the payment of tickets, and it was impossible to do anything about it. I was really sad, I knew that anything could happen there, I could lose in first group stage and it would be shame, or maybe I could go through and that would be my biggest success, we may only guess now, but anyway I was really broken, spend weekend watching DH and playing other games.
![[image loading]](http://www.bubblews.com/assets/images/news/675816959_1381140165.gif)
I felt really sick, had stomach-ache, didnt understand what was going on. On monday I called ambulance, got into the hospital, eventually, I was operated on appendicitis. That was the first time I've ever called ambulance for myself. I should say that I am quite healthy, I almost never catch a cold, I go in for muay thai (thai boxing) and gym, the day before surgery i was training and did 115 push-ups. And then... no physical exercises for a month, one week left, but that's very hard, because it's my life style, I really miss getting pain in my muscles. Sadly, I lost ~12 kilos already, so I'll start from a clean sheet. Our country is fucked-up, the medicine is "free", but in fact I had to borrow money to pay for the surgery. Usually I also support my family with spare money, but they had to borrow some money to come from other city to support me.
![[image loading]](http://www.channel4.com/explore/surgerylive/images/74179596.jpg)
After 3 days, on thursday, I was allowed to go home, but there were so many restrictions, it was hard to walk, I couldnt pick up anything heavier than 1 kg, I wasnt allowed to take a shower normally, strict diet.
It must be magic or something, but on saturday I won the WCS challenger qualifications beating really good players!
![[image loading]](http://puu.sh/4K38Y.png)
I couldnt belive it. I was trying really really hard 2 seasons in a row, but this time, after surgery, feeling very sick physically and psychologically, I MADE IT. Unfortunately, because of all the problems I had I couldnt feel relief, I wasnt as happy as I thought I would be. The next day I got into semifinals of Zotac cup, where lost to MMA. I thought that I am in a very good shape.
Then I had a very fucking hard week. No practice, no joy, basically I was lying in my bed and thinking about everything. I was thinking about my relations with her, was trying to understand what was wrong, I was thinking about my life, about everything. I wasnt allowed to drink alcohol, damn, I wanted it so much. My friends and parents supported me a lot, eventually. I am still young and can do whatever I want in my life!
During last week, damn, I even forgot about it when I was writing it, I won the WCS challenger bracket stage! I was upset and heartbroken, but I managed to survive, to evolve. I made up plan how to beat MVP, but he forfeited, I got to know that I play vs Grubby, who took part in S2 season finals. I could prepare anything special, because I was still shocked and was thinking about my life, my relations, my future, I only made up my plan, how to play vs him and played 2-3 ladder games on my main account. I managed to win it 2-0. Both games were very strange. multitask oriented, unorthodox. I was very nervous and made a ton of mistakes, but I won!
The next day I played vs Babyknight, it was very hard for me to play at 22:00 cet, because I wake up at 6 am D: I didnt practice anything, concentrated on my mindset. Lost first game, then there was a sick 2nd game, where I had a huge advantage and couldnt feel it, I could randomly a click with all my units, but was so scared and didnt do it. Last game I just tried to do my best and he made a mistake. I immediately used it. I won the WCS challenger bracket stage, but because of all the stress I had I couldnt feel myself as happy as I should have been. Only now, after a week, I feel that something inside of me changed, I actually did it, this is my best result, and in 2014 I am going to play WCS! Unfortunately, this month is not very lucky for me :D So I didnt advance to the Premier League, that makes me sad, I feel that it is unfair, I just got better seed or something, but anyway I am happy now! I feel that I can perform much better, I got some confidence, I got new motivation, I look forward to practicing hard and improving!
![[image loading]](http://puu.sh/4K4HQ.png)
Now i am feeling much better, but still it's not me. I feel that I'm Slavik 2.0, I got hardware and software update, I have a fresh start with old HDD full of wonderful memories. Some bad things happened to me, but it's for the better. You know, when everything is going wrong, you say to yourself:
Oh, if I only had a chance to start it over once again...
This is my chance. I know that the most important things are health and your family, your friends, anything else doesnt matter as much. I am going to change something in my life, it's still me, but it's new me, I'll become better, stronger than ever before!
Ima show you, how great I am ~
Thank you for reading this and supporting me. That really means a lot to me. I'll do my best to stream more often and show you the best games I can!
![[image loading]](http://cs319321.vk.me/v319321530/a17c/9eS-P8Q8y8I.jpg)
