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I'm creating this blog (well I didn't really mean to make a "blog" but I guess it's the proper section...) mostly to confess my sins but also to ask for tips from people who maybe have been in my same situation.
When I first started playing I wasn't very bm, perhaps I left without gg sometimes but nothing more. I took a few months break at some point and when I came back I started being more and more bad mannered as the time passed by. It started with some "noob", "stupid game", "so op" and innocent words like those before leaving the game and forgetting everything; it ended up with me being probably one of the most angry people in the EU ladder (that's because I never meet people who rage as much as I do). I heavily insult my opponents and call everything op, stupid and retarded, I wish for their death and lately I am even spamming nexuses everywhere and going afk.
When I think about it, I know that I'm telling only bullshit and it was my fault if I lost, but when I am there my fingers just start writing stuff and I can't stop anymore.
I don't smoke, but I suppose it could be the same feeling. If I'm not insulting my opponent when I'm losing, I feel angry and frustrated and only doing it can give me relief, just as a smoke addict needs to smoke to fulfill his need for nicotine. But after the game I feel extremely stupid because the player I offended was someone just like me who plays the ladder, wants to improve and has his losses and wins.
I hope I am able to stop all of this in the next days. Maybe I will write again but I doubt so because after all who cares about some random nerd who gets mad when he loses. At least I feel better now that I've written down my problem.
 
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I've never been bm once throughout most of my life.
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KingAlphard you are a little man who takes out his frustration with his own impotence on others, ruining their experience during an activity that is supposed to give them entertainment and relaxation. How you can write an apologetic blog like this after admitting to the behavior you described eludes me entirely.
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On August 02 2013 09:26 stdio.h wrote:
KingAlphard you are a little man who takes out his frustration with his own impotence on others, ruining their experience during an activity that is supposed to give them entertainment and relaxation. How you can write an apologetic blog like this after admitting to the behavior you described eludes me entirely.
At least he's making a blog like this by recognizing his problems. Admitting your problem is the first major step needed toward recovery. Eventually, you'll learn to see it as just a game where other players are trying just as hard as you to win. And then you'll understand why they resort to cheap tactics and builds.
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On August 02 2013 09:23 BisuEver wrote:
I've never been bm once throughout most of my life.
Only most of your life? So you have been bm some of your life then, correct?
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On August 02 2013 09:50 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2013 09:23 BisuEver wrote:
I've never been bm once throughout most of my life. Only most of your life? So you have been bm some of your life then, correct?
Yes. I think it was the impotence that got to me.
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whoa crazy insight into the mind of a bmer.
I guess I really should feel bad for all those people that have been shit talking me 
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On August 02 2013 09:57 PassiveAce wrote:whoa crazy insight into the mind of a bmer. I guess I really should feel bad for all those people that have been shit talking me
Impotence
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starcraft isn't the game for you
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I've never been impotent once throughout most of my life.
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From what I understand, you seem to have gotten into really bad habits of mind with gaming. You've gotten more and more bm over time because you're training yourself to become so used to it this becomes second nature for you. When you started, it was a conscious decision to bm, but you've been doing it for so long now it just comes out.
This is going to be really hard to change, but you can do it. You just have to reshape this habit. When you're in a game from now on, make a conscious effort not to be bm, and to say gl hf and gg and stuff and be good mannered. Think about it, and hold yourself to it. It'll be hard, and you'll mess up alot at first, but it's really important that you keep working on it until you work out this habit.
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I'm not usually angry but sometimes some games just piss me off.
In those times I use reverse psychology, the more angry I am the nicer I act. For example if someone cannon rushes me, I type GG WP and tap out and don't waste any time when normally I just type gg. All you are looking for is a release, it doesn't matter if its bad or good.
Just realise that when people do stupid shit they are looking for reactions, don't give them what they want, and you are making the community a better place by being a good example. Every time you put shit on someone, there's a chance that you will be spawning another bm player which we don't want.
Another tip is to try and make friends with the person when the game starts, be really nice and have a chat, that way you'll feel less inclined to insult the person on the other side when you lose. I'm sure when you play with friends you have a completely different attitude to the game, than when you play with strangers.
The real fix is to be a little more detached from the game and don't be results oriented I simply don't get the feels when I win or lose a game anymore and I'm more concerned about how I played and if my build worked and so on and that's what makes me feel good. Focus and enjoy the things you did in game that you liked, rather than focusing on the result. That way every game can be a win.
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I had a couple of slumps where I BM'd my opponents because I was tired of losing, but it always left me with a bitter feeling because unless you're a complete imbecile, part of you knows that your loss is your own fault. Unless you're a pro, you play is extremely flawed and you should blame yourself before you blame the other guy. Sure, maybe he did something cheesy or whatever, but rest assured that he's bad at the game, and whatever he did, he did poorly. You should have been able to deal with it.
But you couldn't deal. And now you're mad because you know you're bad. And you know you're bad, don't lie.
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On August 02 2013 09:18 KingAlphard wrote:
I'm creating this blog (well I didn't really mean to make a "blog" but I guess it's the proper section...) mostly to confess my sins but also to ask for tips from people who maybe have been in my same situation.
When I first started playing I wasn't very bm, perhaps I left without gg sometimes but nothing more. I took a few months break at some point and when I came back I started being more and more bad mannered as the time passed by. It started with some "noob", "stupid game", "so op" and innocent words like those before leaving the game and forgetting everything; it ended up with me being probably one of the most angry people in the EU ladder (that's because I never meet people who rage as much as I do). I heavily insult my opponents and call everything op, stupid and retarded, I wish for their death and lately I am even spamming nexuses everywhere and going afk.
When I think about it, I know that I'm telling only bullshit and it was my fault if I lost, but when I am there my fingers just start writing stuff and I can't stop anymore.
I don't smoke, but I suppose it could be the same feeling. If I'm not insulting my opponent when I'm losing, I feel angry and frustrated and only doing it can give me relief, just as a smoke addict needs to smoke to fulfill his need for nicotine. But after the game I feel extremely stupid because the player I offended was someone just like me who plays the ladder, wants to improve and has his losses and wins.
I hope I am able to stop all of this in the next days. Maybe I will write again but I doubt so because after all who cares about some random nerd who gets mad when he loses. At least I feel better now that I've written down my problem.
I hope you know just how awful you really are.
You need to realize that there is a human being on the other side of the computer screen, and especially you need to understand that some people take what you say to heart and don't wear thick skins.
Next time you are about to BM someone, ask yourself, am I a sociopath? That may stop you from continuing.
You clearly need a different way to vent, as becoming frustrated/angry is a normal and somewhat acceptable emotion to experience after a loss. While keeping that in mind, you should slowly try to strive away from that, and transform that into a productive frustration, one that fuels your ambition and drive to becoming a better player.
As for it stands, I offer you no sympathy, and I do hope dearly you change, as I've experienced a fair amount of BM, and it's simply not needed. Fortunately I can separate reality from online gaming, but many can't. You have probably really hurt and affected some real people out there, man. And there is nothing you can do about it now but change.
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I'd say stay off the ladder and go play team games with your friends, competitive 1v1 isn't for you!
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United States4883 Posts
On August 02 2013 12:01 Drizzt3 wrote:
From what I understand, you seem to have gotten into really bad habits of mind with gaming. You've gotten more and more bm over time because you're training yourself to become so used to it this becomes second nature for you. When you started, it was a conscious decision to bm, but you've been doing it for so long now it just comes out.
This is going to be really hard to change, but you can do it. You just have to reshape this habit. When you're in a game from now on, make a conscious effort not to be bm, and to say gl hf and gg and stuff and be good mannered. Think about it, and hold yourself to it. It'll be hard, and you'll mess up alot at first, but it's really important that you keep working on it until you work out this habit.
To expound on this a bit:
Something that's helped me quite a bit is reshaping my mindset when I play. Firstly, you have to convince yourself that the game is balanced and that with study and practice you can overcome the difficulties of the matchup, which is probably the hardest hurdle. It's very easy to get into a rut and feel like a particular matchup or a particular race is hopeless and never move on. This affects your gameplay before you even get into the game and only gets worse whenever something bullshit happens to you. TRUST ME, I've played PvZ for 2 years.
The second thing to do is just get used to a "practice" mindset. When you start to think in terms of practice, you start thinking less and less of wins and losses and just start focusing on whether a game was good or not and how you can improve. If I react badly to a cheese or somehow screw up against a 4-gate or something stupid, I just leave the game and move onto the next one, knowing I botched things a little and need to make adjustments for the future. It's all a matter of taking on the mindset to LEARN rather than to WIN.
That being said, I still get stressed and upset at things sometimes. To deal with general stress issues and losing streaks, I'll just spend some time cheesing every couple of games or just taking a break and doing other things. I hope you find this helpful and I give you warm encouragement for cleaning up your BM; in the end, it'll just make you a better player  .
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When you are losing focus on the game. Sighing is not a bad thing do it. Do not talk in games besides gl hf and gg. Change your settings so that people can't message you prevents alot of rage.
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I used to love when someone would flip out when they lose. good times.
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You can still be BM without acting like a kid and going afk or some shit. Trash-talking your opponent is fine, especially if you lose since of course you're not happy.
Also I hope that MrRice guy is just joking because holy shit that can't be serious.
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i like to be bm in 2 cases:
a) my opponent is about to lose and comments on either my play or the balance (i like to make them rage in those cases)
b) when i have a losing streak, i feel like im playing good, but i keep on losing (true rage). I still gg though lol
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EPT
