EPT![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kREFvxLWc_4/TAtBA0p1WhI/AAAAAAAAADI/yN46ocpHioI/s1600/EatBabies.jpg)
No, this isn't about eating babies, but I thought this picture was pretty amazing and I have an actual proposal.
I'm considering entering a writing contest in fantasy and science fiction and I would like to get some reactions to the initial hook-basically I want to know if you, as the reader, want to know what's going to happen next. I'd also like to hear what people guess will happen next (I've already finished the story). I've spoiled the first chunk below; tell me what you think! The story title is "Charlie's Choice."
+ Show Spoiler +
“No, no, those won’t do at all. Unless your parents leave you in your room for a week or so you’ll just end up with a shredded liver and poor kidney function.” The man behind the counter unceremoniously chucked the bottle of extra-strength Tylenol in the trash.
Charlie blinked. How did he…“Excuse me? I’m getting these for my-”
His laugh cut her off. His slate-gray eyes twinkled. “Oh come now, I’m an authority on these matters. No, I have something much, much better for you. Just a moment!”
He hummed Chopin’s funeral march as he scurried into the depths of the pharmacy. She hadn’t even had time to use the cover story she’d rehearsed-“my mom’s got a really bad headache and sent me to get some Tylenol, how many can she take safely in a day?” all perfect-daughter-y. She had chosen this CVS specifically because it was on the opposite side of town from where she usually picked up her birth control. There was no way this freak could know anything about her.
Another thing: the dude’s white pharmacist coat had said "Walgreens." This shit wasn’t adding up at all. She turned to leave and was halfway to the front door when she felt a bony hand fasten onto her shoulder. She turned around and found herself staring up into her would-be Kevorkian’s gray eyes. They…swallowed her, somehow.
“Here's exactly what you need.” He shook an opaque unlabeled vial in front of her eyes. “Ten of these and your heart should stop. Minimal mess, minimal fuss. They even taste like strawberries.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking abou-”
“Is it price you’re worried about? Consider them on the house.” He forced the vial into her hands. “They were about to expire anyway. Far be it from me to stand between a girl and her trip into the great beyond!”
As Charlie left the store, her skin crawled where her “benefactor” had touched her. Still, she’d gotten what she needed. Despite the man exuding weirdness like the Three Stooges exude stupidity, Charlie found herself trusting him somehow. Those eyes…
After the doors slid shut behind her, the man shrugged off his jacket and threw it in the trash. White wasn’t really his color.
Charlie blinked. How did he…“Excuse me? I’m getting these for my-”
His laugh cut her off. His slate-gray eyes twinkled. “Oh come now, I’m an authority on these matters. No, I have something much, much better for you. Just a moment!”
He hummed Chopin’s funeral march as he scurried into the depths of the pharmacy. She hadn’t even had time to use the cover story she’d rehearsed-“my mom’s got a really bad headache and sent me to get some Tylenol, how many can she take safely in a day?” all perfect-daughter-y. She had chosen this CVS specifically because it was on the opposite side of town from where she usually picked up her birth control. There was no way this freak could know anything about her.
Another thing: the dude’s white pharmacist coat had said "Walgreens." This shit wasn’t adding up at all. She turned to leave and was halfway to the front door when she felt a bony hand fasten onto her shoulder. She turned around and found herself staring up into her would-be Kevorkian’s gray eyes. They…swallowed her, somehow.
“Here's exactly what you need.” He shook an opaque unlabeled vial in front of her eyes. “Ten of these and your heart should stop. Minimal mess, minimal fuss. They even taste like strawberries.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking abou-”
“Is it price you’re worried about? Consider them on the house.” He forced the vial into her hands. “They were about to expire anyway. Far be it from me to stand between a girl and her trip into the great beyond!”
As Charlie left the store, her skin crawled where her “benefactor” had touched her. Still, she’d gotten what she needed. Despite the man exuding weirdness like the Three Stooges exude stupidity, Charlie found herself trusting him somehow. Those eyes…
After the doors slid shut behind her, the man shrugged off his jacket and threw it in the trash. White wasn’t really his color.
I'm still tweaking spelling/grammar/word choice, but this is the core concept for the story.
Or just discuss the nutritional value of babies and their place in the modern food industry. Don't google baby eating though, that's some stomach-churning stuff.
. How bad could it be?
