I've got a little boston terrier who's been with me since middle school, and I just graduated college.

I can see her getting older and older, she can play less and less. I didn't expect it, but I can't help but think to when she will die. I can't stop it, and it's making me really sad. I don't want to come home and her not be there!

Now I know this is just a dog, but fuck it, it's my dog and this sucks. I love her and this is surprisingly hard to cope with. Anybody got some wisdom to throw my way?

micronesia

United States24772 Posts

March 11 2013 16:45 GMT

This kind of stuff is about looking at it from the right perspective. Sure, it will be sad when a loved one (even a pet) is gone, but you ask yourself if the dog lived a happy full life. Did you care for the dog properly? If you are worried you will have regrets, you still have a chance to do something about it now.

Mordanis

United States893 Posts

March 11 2013 18:45 GMT

Wisdom? nope. I can tell you though that I'm in a very similar situation, except we got my dog when I was in like first grade and I'm now a sophomore in college. She's gotten to the point she can't even go on a 1 mile walk, just kind of sits down after a while and has to be carried until she can see our house. The hard part is that my sister and her husband have these two really fun dogs, so when they come over I gravitate to them, and then its hard to remember my poor dog because she sleeps a lot nowadays in out of the way places.

docvoc

United States5491 Posts

March 11 2013 18:47 GMT

On March 12 2013 01:45 micronesia wrote:
This kind of stuff is about looking at it from the right perspective. Sure, it will be sad when a loved one (even a pet) is gone, but you ask yourself if the dog lived a happy full life. Did you care for the dog properly? If you are worried you will have regrets, you still have a chance to do something about it now.

This is the best advice possible. Instead of worrying about how the animal will pass, make its life on earth as amazing as possible. Pets are the easiest way to live life with no regrets.

Iranon

United States983 Posts

March 12 2013 01:15 GMT

As micronesia said, that's all the more reason to enjoy the time you do have with her. She's not "just a dog", she's your dog, and that's important. The next time you're worried about the future, look over at her. She might be a little slower, but she isn't worried, and you can learn from that. Make her happy, and let her make you happy.

I grew up with my dog from birth to age 15, and yeah, I was a wreck when he died. If you and her are anything like him and I, you might not ever be completely "over" it. But that's okay. Year by year, the hard memories fade and the bright ones endure. I've got a picture of his by-then-completely-white muzzle on my bookshelf, and sure, occasionally it still makes me sad, but mostly I just remember all the great times we had. Your pets are your best friends. Of course it sucks when you outlive them, it's like a microcosm of a parent outliving their child, but nothing lasts forever. Your pets are with you for a time, and you love them and give them the best life you can, and in return, they love you back in their own way, and they feed that happiness back to you.

Even if she understood why you were sad, she wouldn't want you to be. Don't mourn her before she's gone. If you feel like that particular hourglass is running out of sand, don't wonder how many are left; cherish the ones falling now all the more.

AiurZ

United States429 Posts

March 12 2013 02:21 GMT

its super-duper sad

my dog was getting old and my mom moved away and she took my dog with her.

it was hard seeing her go because i could only think like "wow im never going to see my dog again because she'll be dead" so i get severely depressed for 3 years

3 years later my mom is moving back, my dog isnt dead, i dont know whats worse, the feeling that my dog was dead or the feeling that now i know i will have to watch my dog eventually die.

i feel like its a cruel joke that parents play on their kids, like here's a dog that you will love when you are a child and grow up with and then when you get into this really depressing/existential time in your life you will have to watch them die.

Tictock

United States6052 Posts

March 12 2013 06:37 GMT

Yea it can be pretty tough, I just went through the same thing myself only with my cat. Not sure I have any better advice than whats been said, micronesia hit the nail on the head, but I'll share my experience in case that helps at all.

So this was my cat since childhood, got her when I was 5 and she lived to the ripe old age of 20. She was a tortoiseshell cat, black with orange patches, with a very mellow personality. She was always an indoor cat, though when she was younger she would go outside a fair bit all she ever did was explore our yard a little and hide under our porch. She was lucky enough to be healthy her whole life, we went probably 15 years w/o having any reason to take her to the vet. Over the past couple years I've been noticing the same thing you have been with you're dog, she would sleep a lot and didn't move around very much. So I had plenty of time to come to terms with the fact that she was near the end and the fact that I knew she had had a good life and was happy certainly helped. The end came at an awkward time, and dam was it hard to see her go. Basically right around Valentines day she decided to stop eating and only drank a small amount of water. That weekend I had to watch her get weaker and weaker to the point where she stopped moving around the house completely. The last couple of days she basically was just laying in my bed (which had become her favorite spot in the last year or so) and while she would occasionally try to move it was clear she was just too weak to even lift her head. The last day I pretty much just spent with her, petting her and napping next to her. The next day she was gone...

It's not easy to go through that, and while I had the option to put her down rather than watch her go slowly I just couldn't do it as it felt too much like killing her. It was painful, especially in those last few days, but the fact that she seemed to be at peace and had been happy definitely helped.

So, my advice; make the best of the time you have. If your dog seems happy then you've done all you can. You can't know how long you have left so if you can try and focus on the good things and don't worry about the end until it's staring you in the face, it will make it easier.