EPTgl&hf!
Birthday + Girl Blog - Page 3
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ModernAgeShaman
Norway484 Posts
gl&hf! | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
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ModernAgeShaman
Norway484 Posts
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Azera
3800 Posts
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
Honestly you'll do fine as it is, but fine since you asked for it here are my thoughts. 1. Don't Stop~ Yes the ~tilde~ was deliberate to give the bold heading a more suggestive tone. I'm just trying to say that you must stay true to your course. Sometimes when you are overly enthusiastic you start thinking about what "more" can you do to make things even better. While that in itself is not a bad thing, it opens the possibility of opening several negative tangents to your approach to this relationship such as over-thinking (leading to inaction, re: Hamlet by Shakespeare) and obsession. So what do I really mean by don't stop? Don't stop being yourself. Damn that was so cliche and I don't even have the accent on the e to make it look legit. Don't stop what you do but do stop when you start becoming something you're really not. Shit you hear like "alpha male" and "chicks dig bad boys" and "nice guys finish last" don't necessarily apply to every relationship in the world. She already went out, on a one-on-one, intimate (oh I know how intimate the library can be, *wink wink*) date with you - shit man you are fucking alpha of the alpha in her eyes and your knowledge about that marabou word and Vonnegut make you the biggest bad boy ever. Okay that some bullshit I spew out but you get the point, right? Stick that thought into your head and don't let anybody or anything break it. 2. The Comfort Zone Still think there are things to consider? How about this - think about the difference between expanding your comfort zone versus stepping out of it. In both cases you're going a step further than you've ever been before. Expanding the comfort zone (sorry, loosely defined term and you'll have to go along for now) means that you've taken it slow and gave it time for the old you to evolve into the new you. Stepping out means doing something you're not comfortable with and/or don't find it enjoyable for the sake of what you think she'll like better or appreciate. When you step out, the only thing that will satisfy you / justify your effort is either feeling a satisfactory response (e.g. "oh that is sooo sweet I love it this is so nice of you it's the best anybody's ever done for me It will actually be a necessary thing, this comfort zone thing. No matter how many things you find common with her, there will be thousands and millions more things you'll discover about her that currently sits outside of your comfort zone. Of course because she's so perfect for you (am I writing advice or fanfic here?) you'll be blind to it at least for a few days. Then you'll realize, piece by piece, that the ideal goddess marble statue you thought you won turns out to have a bunch of scratches and impurities and bird shit and so on. You can clean the bird shit off (minor items), repair the scratches (non-minor items), but you'll have to accept and even appreciate that the impurities make it (her) unique, the only one in the world. Shit man if someone told me this advice 6 years earlier in my life... 3. The Proposal I have a habit of making these bold headings a lot more than what I'm actually going to discuss. I'm talking here about how to open up to each other; in other words, communication. In general (because exceptions always exist) girls don't like it when the guy is a chatterbox and won't fucking shut up. I know some guys are like this, especially when around women, because 1) they are nervous, 2) they feel the need to verbally assure their 'superior' status, 3) they want the girl to notice them, and 4) they don't want uncomfortable silences. On the opposite side of the spectrum, if you ain't talking, shit ain't going nowhere. Oh yes you can play the little game of push-and-pull by not responding to her calls/text for a few days then all of a sudden spamming her with so much attention (it does get her confused and she will think about you) but once you're at a certain point you stop doing that little game shit and open up for real. At the high school level where things are innocent and genuine, I'd say (again) don't do unnecessary things and stay on-course. Keep the communication going. Don't talk like a little six year old with her first ever barbie doll house. Be a good listener by paying full attention to what she's saying instead of formulating the "perfect" response in your head. Keeping things humourous is a definite plus but know when to be serious. Remember, there will be moments that you'll need to stick to very simple words and the truth in your heart. Example of Don't: "Uhhh, I sort of think that we should maybe, you know, because we both like library and literature and all, that maybe you - uh I mean we - could go to the library again on Thursday, yeah like if that's not a good day with you that's fine and uhhh but if that's okay and if you're hungry right now and have nobody else to eat with and because the cafeteria is serving special fries today then we could have lunch to talk more about it if you want..." Example of Do: "I really enjoyed going to library with you last time, and I would like for us to do it again this Thursday. But for now, how about lunch?" 4. The Actual Proposal Now when you have too many of this super platonic no-touchy-touchy library dates yes the I'm going to use the dreaded word: friendzone! Let me do that again with your words, (read it slowly) library-brother-zone (that actually sounds a lot worse). So let's say because I think it's the most plausible scenario, that you two totally fall in love (awwwww) and it's so painfully obvious to ALL your friends that you two are meant to be (popular idea in high school) but you two have been denying it and saying you're just good friends. Inside you already know and have rehearsed (despite my best advices above) the epic release of the most true fiery passions of your heart and soul which has enough power (and some) to turn the most cruel winter winds into gentle spring breezes and flowers will bloom in your path and cherry blossom petals will descent slowly at 5cm/s. Or maybe you've watched too many dramas and prefer some ridiculously tragic scenario with torrential rain (no umbrellas) in the dimly lit empty muddy park with heart-wrenching ballad playing the background and something along the lines of "why did you murder my father" and "because I love you". You know what I'll just write an "Azera x (you pick name / pen name)" fanfic later when I have time. In short, you just need to say it. Your heart will be pounding out of your eye sockets and your mind will take a sudden vacation to Uranus but you will fucking man up and say it. What words to say? That's for you to decide! /OpShot | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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phosphorylation
United States2935 Posts
but you do need to gradually ease into becoming more "physical" and "suggestive" -- and otherwise, indeed you might risk being friendzoned. (although in conservative asians, friendzoning is not always quite the death sentence that people make it out to be) start small -- you can start with the basic chivalry stuff (holding the door, guiding her away with your arms from the street when a car rushes past you etc.) and also try to talk about more things to pertain to date/romance etc. of course, flirting of some sort would be nice too. but yeah, definitely don't bum-rush her by a surprise kiss -- it might be the move to make in other contexsts, but in yours, i think it is more likely to cause a negative reaction. | ||
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pebble444
Italy2503 Posts
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DemonDrivin
26 Posts
On January 30 2013 19:42 Azera wrote: So its okay to text her first? Oh man its ok to wait for her no need to be the clingy one. Thats the role of the woman! Its ok though you will get it! | ||
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AWagg
United States9 Posts
On January 31 2013 14:07 DemonDrivin wrote: Oh man its ok to wait for her no need to be the clingy one. Thats the role of the woman! Its ok though you will get it! Nah, just sack up and text her... Something like "Ayyy gUrLLL, hOwzz yEW LykiN DeM booKZ" or however you cool kids do it... + Show Spoiler + You know with posts like that, that I'm REALLY smooth with the ladies  But seriously, text her, its no big deal, but start it off with more than "hey" cause that gets annoying... | ||
Chill
Calgary25998 Posts
 Happy birthday.I wish I could read. | ||
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HexSCII
Canada115 Posts
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