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My friends little brother is a retard.(Poem/Video)

Blogs > Mr.Bimbles
Post a Reply
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
September 05 2012 22:29 GMT
#1
Thy Vod may be three years old.
But this video truly is a pot of gold!
From laughter on the ground I rolled.
And went on uncontrolled

What a retard he truly is
Doupt his genes allow him to create jizz
Sry coudn't find something to rhyme
Is that such a crime!?!

Time to draw this to a close now,
So I take my time to bow
Like srsly wtf, WOW!



**
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2781 Posts
September 05 2012 22:52 GMT
#2
Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.

What a retard he truly is, a
Total lack of the gene for jizz
And now I'm out of words to rhyme -
A major offense and a capital crime.

Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed.
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
Kaeru
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Sweden552 Posts
September 05 2012 23:02 GMT
#3
--- Nuked ---
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
September 05 2012 23:38 GMT
#4
On September 06 2012 08:02 Kaeru wrote:
Qwyn pro-poet :D


I noes,
From top to toes!
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
ggrrg
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Bulgaria2717 Posts
September 05 2012 23:49 GMT
#5
5/5

2/5 for the poem (only 1st stanza was any good)
55/5 for the video xD
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52798 Posts
September 06 2012 00:51 GMT
#6
The poem, I believe, is someone insufficient.
When a poem is written, it should be obvious what is meant.
Video is ok.
ModeratorI am still alive, somehow
TL+ Member
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
September 06 2012 02:06 GMT
#7
Wtf was that kid doing in that video? Did he hit himself in the head on purpose and then post it on youtube? If that's the case then I'd say your blog title is a fair assessment.

Also when you see the word jizz in the poem, it loses a couple of points. 2/5
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
September 06 2012 03:30 GMT
#8
On September 06 2012 07:52 Qwyn wrote:
Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.

What a retard he truly is, a
Total lack of the gene for jizz
And now I'm out of words to rhyme -
A major offense and a capital crime.

Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed.

Qwyn could be one of those rap stars you see everyday on BET
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2781 Posts
September 06 2012 04:37 GMT
#9
On September 06 2012 12:30 Roe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 06 2012 07:52 Qwyn wrote:
Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.

What a retard he truly is, a
Total lack of the gene for jizz
And now I'm out of words to rhyme -
A major offense and a capital crime.

Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed.

Qwyn could be one of those rap stars you see everyday on BET


Thank you. I try to make my sarcasm read like a total try-hard.
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
Deleted User 255289
Profile Joined March 2012
281 Posts
September 06 2012 04:50 GMT
#10
So you laugh at people who have mental disabilities, and make TL threads to make fun of them?
Zerg OP | CreansRNub | k-Poop | Zerg OP | Sea lions | \\m//
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
September 06 2012 10:21 GMT
#11
On September 06 2012 11:06 Epishade wrote:
Wtf was that kid doing in that video? Did he hit himself in the head on purpose and then post it on youtube? If that's the case then I'd say your blog title is a fair assessment.

Also when you see the word jizz in the poem, it loses a couple of points. 2/5


I coudn't find anything to rhyme.
Is that sucha crime?
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
September 06 2012 10:22 GMT
#12
On September 06 2012 13:50 superbarnie wrote:
So you laugh at people who have mental disabilities, and make TL threads to make fun of them?


He isn't mentally disabled, it was supposed to be a lame video that would like be fake, but instead he slammed it into his head (accidentally) xD...
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
September 06 2012 19:46 GMT
#13
On September 06 2012 13:37 Qwyn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 06 2012 12:30 Roe wrote:
On September 06 2012 07:52 Qwyn wrote:
Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.

What a retard he truly is, a
Total lack of the gene for jizz
And now I'm out of words to rhyme -
A major offense and a capital crime.

Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed.

Qwyn could be one of those rap stars you see everyday on BET


Thank you. I try to make my sarcasm read like a total try-hard.


LOL.
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
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