EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/nppzq.png)
So I’m the only person who’s allowed to post on Team Liquid while banned. How did I do it? WHO KNOWS?? It’s a mystery.
I would say I don’t know why I’m banned, but it’s pretty clear why…
Here’s a log of my travels while banned.
Day 1 The long, sleepless night
As I sit here and ponder the fact that the TL bot could easily tell from my IP address that the random other account that posted on my blog had nothing to do with me, a change occurs in my very body chemistry. I have gotten so emotional with TEENAGE ANGST that hormones have literally taken over my eyelids. I keep trying to close them, but I’m apparently writing this under a bridge and someone above me keeps dangling a tiny fishing rod over each eyelid and hooking the edges of my eye lashes.
Day 2 Strange developments
The longer I stay awake, the more my right hand does things I don’t notice. My right hand was my posting hand…
Day 5 Watching desRow
Just look at that talent. He deftly loads the dts into the warp prism…
Day 9 Scrounging for food
Without Team Liquid to support me, I have no sustenance. I’m forced to crawl under my bed and hunt for dustbunnies. I’m allergic to dust…but I have no choice. Those bunnies are just SOOOOoodooosdoiaspooiOOO GHHUuUUOOOHDDDD
Day 16 The halfway point
Sorry…I missed it. DAMN IT! I am so devoted to my fans that I would NEVER have missed day 15 unless it was absolutely necessary. You know I love you gu- NO - NOOOO DESROW NOOOOO DON’T ahh damn it. He lost all his colossi. Anyway…what was I saying?
Day 20 Logging on to SC2
My right hand slowly creeps across the keyboard. I’m looking at it…but I’m powerless to stop it. I guess I’m goin in. There’s nobody online. Hmm…okay my left hand is a bro. Clutch ⌘Q right there.
Day 20.5 FUCK THAT FUCKING GUY GODDAMN IT
FUCKING FUCK GOD DAMN WHAT THE FUCK GODDAMN CHEESE 4 GATE NOOB WHAT THE GODDAMN IT FUCK
Day 23 A meal appears
I hear some scuffling. It’s a bigun. Not just a dust chipmunk or a dust squirrel this time…this has to be a dust squid or something. Dust calamari…aoafobjdfpb or maybe some DUST GIRAFFE – that’s what I’m TALKING about. I’m ready to bite some heads off.
Day 30 The ban is lifted
Whatever. That damn dust giraffe got away. I’ve been chasing that thing for an entire week just watching the beautiful trail of dust get longer and longer. Wait…what’s that? A hoofprint! YES! YEEEHHEEESSS IT’S REAL! A REAL DUST GIRAFFE! The hunt is on.
Day 39 Tears of the Giraffe
Finally…the moment I’ve been waiting for. It’s right in front of me. The Steed of Dust. The Equine Beauty of Nastiness. The Mare of the Night. The Nightmare of – wait a minute. Hold up. My right hand is doing something. It’s reaching out into the night…into the mare (what?)…there’s a shape…I feel a three dimensional shape…irregular…it feels like…round…soft…it’s a…shoulder? What the fuck?
“AHHHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING!????!??!!1??”
IT’S A GIRL!!!!! RUUUUUUUUN!!!
Day 44 She talked to me
I told her to go away.
Day 50 The Ban Is Lifted
Hooray! I’m gonna go play some Starcraft with my buddies.
Pce
