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Blogs > ImDrizzt
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ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-06 15:34:16
November 06 2011 12:50 GMT
#1
I have been having weird poop lately, so I had to get a rectal examination.

So I went to the hospital, and got told to go sit wait in the waiting room. I started to get a little nervous, but I did this awesome breathing/meditation techniques, so it passed pretty quickly, although I was still a little eerie. And I started to picture, having fantazies about what would happen. Then suddenly this nurse comes along, and I instantly smile, because she was so pretty. Black hair, some makeup, maybe 35, so a real looker for her age. She turned to the right, and then by musing with my eyes (kinda like my zoom in). I could see the outline of her panties through the green thingy she was wearing.

Then suddenly I regreted it... I started to get eroused, and I started to panic. It'd look real bad if I had a boner in the examination, so was stressing so much, trying to get it down, tried squeezing it when no1 was watching, but that didn't help at all. I tried bringing up a picture I once saw, when I worked at a photo shop. This swedish guy had taken pictures of his massive, oversized wife giving birth, and she literally had intenstense, gore, gue, blood and all kinds of shit hanging out her vagina. Eight years since I saw that picture, but it's still the most distubring image I've seen, so tried thinking bout that. But a few seconds after the nurse came back and walked the other way, and I was screwed again. But i've been in these kinds of situations before, I know what works (once happend in a funeral, long story). And I rushed over to the bathroom, had the quickest wank ever, from start to finish, like 11 seconds. And I rushed back, hoping my examination would be a little delayed.

And they were, had to wait like 12 minuts more, and it was like, 50% size. So now when I got taken into the examination room by a doctor and a nurse (this nurse was old), so it was np, and I had to strip, I could just pretend my 50% penis was my normal, relaxed state, so everything turned out a lot better than expected. And I was literally almost not nervous at all, since I everted the earlier, potential catastrophy.

(Although, laying naked with ur bum in the air with 2 people looking in it was pretty embaressing too, but i've felt worse lol).

Ok, now im hungry, not been allowed to eat today, and this morning I had to take some clyster shit.

Weee

****
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 06 2011 12:51 GMT
#2
Thiz was a few months ago.
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
November 06 2011 13:02 GMT
#3
lol i like these blogs the more I read them.
So, are you ok or what?
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
Carnac
Profile Blog Joined December 2003
Germany / USA16648 Posts
November 06 2011 13:25 GMT
#4
what about the funeral story yo
ModeratorHi! I'm a .signature *virus*! Copy me into your ~/.signature to help me spread!
NoodleFish
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
South Africa198 Posts
November 06 2011 13:31 GMT
#5
Haha just read 3 of your blogs and I can't stop laughing... people looking at me like I'm crazy
"He accidentally attacked his own nexus with a probe. Then half way through the game, poof! No more nexus. That's gotta suck!"
Thrill
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
2599 Posts
November 06 2011 13:38 GMT
#6
So essence of the story - you jacked off at a funeral?
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46215 Posts
November 06 2011 13:48 GMT
#7
The first sentence just sucked me in to the story.

Fantastic read, was at the edge of my seat the entire time.

5/5
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Linwelin
Profile Joined March 2011
Ireland7554 Posts
November 06 2011 13:49 GMT
#8
Please keep writing blogs
Fuck Razor and Death Prophet
Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
November 06 2011 13:51 GMT
#9
You had a wank at a funeral?
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
Tarias
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Netherlands480 Posts
November 06 2011 13:53 GMT
#10
On November 06 2011 22:25 Carnac wrote:
what about the funeral story yo


Im quite curious as well^_^ Loving your blogs:D
Go big, or go home!
Kurr
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada2338 Posts
November 06 2011 14:38 GMT
#11
I'm not sure how you got turned on in such a situation.

Going to slightly hijack with my own story.

I was operated twice for pilonidal sinuses which means you have to go see a nurse every day for like 3 months to get bandages changed. Every day I had my ass exposed and the nurse spent 10 minutes playing with a hole that shouldn't exist in my body and I can safely say I was never turned on despite 2 of my 3 regular nurses being hot (1 milf and 1 younger girl nurse).

Well, except that one time the younger one accidentally rubbed my dick when placing a towel but I didn't get a boner at least lol. Actually not sure if it was on purpose it not because she liked me but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't jeopardize her job for that.

I remember one time I get there for my appointment then she looks at me, goes back and gets a file, looks at me and says "Michael, your turn"... then the dude sitting on the opposite side gets up and she's like "Huh???" until I tell her "I'm Mike". ROFL, she looked so flustered.

Worse time there was with the same girl; she was changing the bandage that's inside the wound and they use a small metal rod to push it in (it's about as big as a blunt needle) and she pushed a little too hard... went past the bandage and pretty much shoved that metal rod right into my wound extremely hard. It was more painful than anything I've ever felt in my life; more painful than the operation by a mile. Man I could barely walk the rest of the day, it left a sharp pain.

I don't remember if this was before or after she touched my dick. Maybe it was payback or something lol.

P.S : There's nothing more awkward than a nurse thanking you while you hold your ass checks spread for her. Sadly, you get used to it.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ | ┻━┻ ︵╰(°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
RogerX
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
New Zealand3180 Posts
November 06 2011 15:46 GMT
#12
Rofl, got a picture of the nurse?
Stick it up. take it up. step aside and see the world
DreamChaser
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
1649 Posts
November 06 2011 16:50 GMT
#13
On November 07 2011 00:46 RogerX wrote:
Rofl, got a picture of the nurse?

I guess if he went back and creeped up on the nurse.

This has happened to me quite a few times, the best way i have figured out is to just forget about the boner. The more you think about it the more stiff it gets, like trying to imagine the gross image doesn't work, but if you just sort of casually place your hands over your lap and just concentrate on something else non sexual BAM you put Mr. Johnson back in his place.
Plays against every MU with nexus first.
~ava
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada379 Posts
November 06 2011 16:56 GMT
#14
Sexual frustration lol
RogerX
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
New Zealand3180 Posts
November 06 2011 17:01 GMT
#15
Tbh, I wouldn't be suprised if he went back and creeped up on her xD
Stick it up. take it up. step aside and see the world
Celial
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
2602 Posts
November 06 2011 19:23 GMT
#16
Okay, you lie naked on a table and two people are fingering around in it. But you have had worse. THAT is a story I'd like to hear.
Do not regret. Always forward, never back.
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-06 19:35:46
November 06 2011 19:32 GMT
#17
On November 07 2011 04:23 Celial wrote:
Okay, you lie naked on a table and two people are fingering around in it. But you have had worse. THAT is a story I'd like to hear.


That/those story might come one day, but it involves a lot of deep emotions, sadness, pain, struggle and suffering. I don't want to make you guys cry. Not yet atleast, hehe.

Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 06 2011 19:36 GMT
#18
lol
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
ImDrizzt
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway427 Posts
November 06 2011 23:49 GMT
#19
On November 06 2011 22:25 Carnac wrote:
what about the funeral story yo


I've listed it down on a piece of paper for later, so far I've got 24 more ideas for stories. Atm i'm writing a story from sc/bw about Testie's deep hate against Draco for stealing his e-gf.
Link to my serious blog, where I am serious and spreads truth, knowledge and "serious" stuff: http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=982066
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