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Kim Jong-il Plays Poker Online!

Blogs > sky_slasher
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sky_slasher
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States328 Posts
June 30 2011 20:24 GMT
#1
[same content from my LiquidPoker blog]

I was playing on Black Chip Poker, a Merge Poker Network skin, when I encountered a player from Democratic People's Republic of Korea, the official name of North Korea (South Korea's official name is just the Republic of Korea).

[image loading]

He must be Kim Jong-il!
- Few people have the Internet access in North Korea. The only man powerful enough to have that access AND be able to put money into an online poker platform (North Korea has very strict control on money processing) is him.
- He was pretty aggressive, re-raising me with 10-10 when I had played very tight. We know Kim Jong-il loves to fight.

At the end, I took about $5 from him. I'm really worried that he will come after me for the money and this blog, but truth needs to be shared!!!


****
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
June 30 2011 20:26 GMT
#2
I love the name "manateepower". I might use that alias sometime.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
June 30 2011 20:27 GMT
#3
Hahaha golden.
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
June 30 2011 20:29 GMT
#4
More than one person has internet access in North Korea... a while ago someone on 4chan posted an IP where you could telnet into a North Korean Linksys router. Someone even remote-desktoped and started messing with a North Korean computer that was running Windows XP.
6581
rolfe
Profile Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1266 Posts
June 30 2011 20:32 GMT
#5
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago
life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously but there it is. Life finds a way
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44614 Posts
June 30 2011 20:34 GMT
#6
On July 01 2011 05:29 Loser777 wrote:
More than one person has internet access in North Korea... a while ago someone on 4chan posted an IP where you could telnet into a North Korean Linksys router. Someone even remote-desktoped and started messing with a North Korean computer that was running Windows XP.


Nah, there's absolutely no chance it could be anyone else.

OP, congratulations on taking some money from the real Kim Jong Il!
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Mikilatov
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States3897 Posts
June 30 2011 20:35 GMT
#7
That can't be right.... Kim Jong-il doesn't lose. I'd hate to play that guy in anything.

38 under par and 5 hole-in-ones in golf, bowling a 300 on his first time, etc. =P
♥ I used to lasso the shit out of your tournaments =( ♥ | Much is my hero. | zizi yO~ | Be Nice, TL.
eshlow
Profile Joined June 2008
United States5210 Posts
June 30 2011 20:35 GMT
#8
pretty sure if it was him he wouldn't be playing 10 NL haha

But pretty funny in general
Overcoming Gravity: A Systematic Approach to Gymnastics and Bodyweight Strength
Tatari
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States1179 Posts
June 30 2011 20:41 GMT
#9
On July 01 2011 05:29 Loser777 wrote:
More than one person has internet access in North Korea... a while ago someone on 4chan posted an IP where you could telnet into a North Korean Linksys router. Someone even remote-desktoped and started messing with a North Korean computer that was running Windows XP.


And here I was expecting North Koreans to be running Windows 95/2000. o_O

What kind of files did they have on the computer?
A fed jungler is no longer a jungler, but a terrorist.
GunSec
Profile Joined February 2010
1095 Posts
June 30 2011 20:47 GMT
#10
which position did he reraise you with TT? seems pretty standard to me
sixfour
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
England11061 Posts
June 30 2011 20:53 GMT
#11
you do realise that on a lot of poker sites you can put whatever location you want as long as you haven't deposited/withdrawn?
p: stats, horang2, free, jangbi z: soulkey, zero, shine, hydra t: leta, hiya, sea
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42381 Posts
June 30 2011 20:56 GMT
#12
On July 01 2011 05:53 sixfour wrote:
you do realise that on a lot of poker sites you can put whatever location you want as long as you haven't deposited/withdrawn?


You gotta be kidding. rofl
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
Kezzer
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1268 Posts
June 30 2011 21:02 GMT
#13
how do you play poker online from the US?
Rodiel3
Profile Joined March 2011
France1158 Posts
June 30 2011 21:06 GMT
#14
On July 01 2011 05:53 sixfour wrote:
you do realise that on a lot of poker sites you can put whatever location you want as long as you haven't deposited/withdrawn?


True, i have use Iraq while ago, for avoiding "frenchfag"
http://www.youtube.com/user/rodiel3 SCBW FPVOD
sixfour
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
England11061 Posts
June 30 2011 21:06 GMT
#15
On July 01 2011 06:02 Kezzer wrote:
how do you play poker online from the US?


merge still allows players from there
p: stats, horang2, free, jangbi z: soulkey, zero, shine, hydra t: leta, hiya, sea
FetusFondler
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States246 Posts
June 30 2011 21:10 GMT
#16
Goddamn! At first I thought his username was "nukefart" haha, but very nice, another loss for North Korea!
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
Br3ezy
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States720 Posts
June 30 2011 21:15 GMT
#17
isnt democratic thingy south korea?
Check out my guide to mechanics http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=319876
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
June 30 2011 21:19 GMT
#18
He must be bored as fuck to be playing on tables with such stakes.
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42381 Posts
June 30 2011 21:20 GMT
#19
On July 01 2011 06:15 Br3ezy wrote:
isnt democratic thingy south korea?


No.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korea
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
hpty603
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States262 Posts
June 30 2011 21:28 GMT
#20
I came here thinking Kim Jong-il might have died T_T
I only play 2v2 to see how much of the map I can turn purple ~ Jinro
Mr. Wiggles
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada5894 Posts
June 30 2011 21:29 GMT
#21
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)
you gotta dance
AxelTVx
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada916 Posts
June 30 2011 21:39 GMT
#22
Don't they have retarded OS Red Star?
Axel 145 Masters Protoss
Equinox_kr
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States7395 Posts
June 30 2011 21:56 GMT
#23
On July 01 2011 06:29 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)


Masses nukes and then talks shit all game about how he'll use them, never does.
^-^
Kipsate
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands45349 Posts
June 30 2011 21:59 GMT
#24
On July 01 2011 06:56 Equinox_kr wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 06:29 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)


Masses nukes and then talks shit all game about how he'll use them, never does.


Probably supply blocked all the time aswell.
WriterXiao8~~
nemo14
Profile Joined January 2011
United States425 Posts
June 30 2011 22:08 GMT
#25
On July 01 2011 06:59 Kipsate wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 06:56 Equinox_kr wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:29 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)


Masses nukes and then talks shit all game about how he'll use them, never does.


Probably supply blocked all the time aswell.


Kills off the first six scvs because they were not working when he walked into the room.
brazenraven
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Romania122 Posts
June 30 2011 22:10 GMT
#26
On July 01 2011 06:59 Kipsate wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 06:56 Equinox_kr wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:29 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)


Masses nukes and then talks shit all game about how he'll use them, never does.


Probably supply blocked all the time aswell.



my theory is it's his son, simply because old people don't use computers.
Zerg definitely does have responses to FFs pre-hive tech. Infestors, baneling drops, burrowed roaches, and mutas are all options
Mortality
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
United States4790 Posts
June 30 2011 22:32 GMT
#27
On July 01 2011 06:15 Br3ezy wrote:
isnt democratic thingy south korea?


The most authoritarian states tend to label themselves as things like "People's Democratic Republic of _______." Dictators are not genre savvy enough to realize that most people already know this trope.
Even though this Proleague bullshit has been completely bogus, I really, really, really do not see how Khan can lose this. I swear I will kill myself if they do. - nesix before KHAN lost to eNature
Mr. Wiggles
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada5894 Posts
June 30 2011 22:40 GMT
#28
On July 01 2011 07:08 nemo14 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 06:59 Kipsate wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:56 Equinox_kr wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:29 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)


Masses nukes and then talks shit all game about how he'll use them, never does.


Probably supply blocked all the time aswell.


Kills off the first six scvs because they were not working when he walked into the room.


If a marine dies scouting, he kills off all the marines related to him and the barracks that spawned him.
you gotta dance
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
June 30 2011 22:45 GMT
#29
On July 01 2011 07:40 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 07:08 nemo14 wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:59 Kipsate wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:56 Equinox_kr wrote:
On July 01 2011 06:29 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
On July 01 2011 05:32 rolfe wrote:
isn't one of his sons very into starcraft? i'm sure i read that sometime ago


That would be really funny if it were true. :p

I can imagine some drama of him trying to secretly cross the border, and make his way to the GSL qualifiers all while trying to keep his identity secret. Then he makes it to the finals, and his identity becomes revealed, and it's a battle of the North and South Korean Terrans!!!

(I bet he likes to use ghosts and mass nukes too, probably his standard build)


Masses nukes and then talks shit all game about how he'll use them, never does.


Probably supply blocked all the time aswell.


Kills off the first six scvs because they were not working when he walked into the room.


If a marine dies scouting, he kills off all the marines related to him and the barracks that spawned him.

But in a Happiness survey, all of the units loved him the most, or at least second most, first was china.
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
windzor
Profile Joined October 2010
Denmark1013 Posts
June 30 2011 23:08 GMT
#30
On July 01 2011 05:41 Tatari wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2011 05:29 Loser777 wrote:
More than one person has internet access in North Korea... a while ago someone on 4chan posted an IP where you could telnet into a North Korean Linksys router. Someone even remote-desktoped and started messing with a North Korean computer that was running Windows XP.


And here I was expecting North Koreans to be running Windows 95/2000. o_O

What kind of files did they have on the computer?


NK has access to torrents too I'm pretty sure they haven't paid MS for it. Like most software in those kind og contryes..
Yeah
Sufficiency
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada23833 Posts
June 30 2011 23:12 GMT
#31
I hope OP is joking, otherwise he should be banned.

It's pretty obvious that lots of people in NK have internet. Obviously they are not available to commoners, though.
https://twitter.com/SufficientStats
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
June 30 2011 23:46 GMT
#32
Why you stealin' from North Korea bro? That country needs every cent they can get ):
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Naeroon
Profile Joined April 2011
Canada166 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-01 00:19:43
July 01 2011 00:19 GMT
#33
Ganfei2
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
473 Posts
July 01 2011 00:19 GMT
#34
On July 01 2011 08:12 Sufficiency wrote:
I hope OP is joking, otherwise he should be banned.

It's pretty obvious that lots of people in NK have internet. Obviously they are not available to commoners, though.


Agreed with this poster. I think the OP should be banned. Jokes about the Great Leader are unacceptable. TL needs to show the Great Leader that they are loyal to the cause before the Great Leader is forced to take actions of his own.
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
July 01 2011 00:50 GMT
#35
Sufficiency is taking the topic too seriously.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
sky_slasher
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States328 Posts
July 01 2011 18:14 GMT
#36
On July 01 2011 05:47 GunSec wrote:
which position did he reraise you with TT? seems pretty standard to me

haha I forgot!

Arnstein
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Norway3381 Posts
July 01 2011 22:49 GMT
#37
Haha, best blog post EVER.
rsol in response to the dragoon voice being heard in SCII: dragoon ai reaches new lows: wanders into wrong game
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