Where am I going? Where do I want to go?

Asparaguz

Sweden21 Posts

June 21 2011 22:00 GMT

Oh god, where do I begin... My mind is clouded by so many thoughts, and they confuse me.

From elementary school and onwards, people ask you; What do you want to do with your life?

Should I really know the answer to that?

Introduction
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I'm 18 years old. My second term of Swedish high school just ended, and in my spare time, I've developed a lot of new interests, aswell as having found that my interest in things I used to love is rejuvenated.

Playing drums
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Ever since elementary school, I've been passionate (well, on and off, as with most things in my life) about playing drums. Being that I've had a relatively tough childhood from an economic point of view, I was never quite able to get down to it. Atleast that's what I led myself to believe. However, 2 years or so back, my mother got some extra money and could afford to buy me a digital drumset. I started out very passionate, but my interest has been on and off since then. I guess that's just natural. I've strived to be able to play metal drums for quite a few years, but never been able to get myself to save up enough money to get a double bass pedal. I suppose it's a problem of lacking will power.
I'm going to be able to get one in a week or so, though. My interest in drumming was rejuvenated when I got into K-pop (more on this later), and as I was saying, tons of things have popped up since this term ended. So I've got to a point where I yet again feel strongly about becoming a developed drummer. But, problems arise.. because that's not all I (think I) want right now...

Korea
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A GSL clip introduced me to K-pop, which in turn got me even more interested in Korea, and the Korean language. I obviously play StarCraft, and have had thoughts of trying to make it professional in StarCraft, something that's quite so strengthened by my interest in Korea as a whole.

That's not all, though. I wasn't exaggerating when I said _many_ thoughts.

I want to go to Korea. Probably after I finish school and work for a year or so, to make it all possible. What I'm thinking is I actually would like to move there permanently, but I guess you can't know if you haven't gone there and tried it out first.

Training
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I've always been sort of insecure in myself, being that I haven't been very physically fit, however a few years back, I trained Karate and really enjoyed myself. But when the time came to move up to the adult's group I was somehow scared, and backed out and stopped training entirely. Now here I am, finding myself wanting to start training either Karate or Taekwondo when the next school term kicks off. This all lines up with me wanting to feel more secure in myself, and wanting to be able to enjoy my life without all these little insecurities that arise.

Summary
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To sum up, there are a lot of things I want, but I guess I'm just scared of the thought of trying to obtain it all. I believe I can accomplish anything that I truly fight for, but chasing those dreams sort of frightens me...

I think I've matured to the point where I feel that I can stand up for what I take interest in and truly love, something that hasn't always been natural to me.

I want to learn Korean and travel to Korea, possibly for a permanent stay...
I want to become a developed drummer...
I want to become physically and mentally fit to clear the insecurities I've always been haunted by...

But.. how?

I'm sorry if this is unclear in any way, I've just jotted down all the thoughts I can put into words right now.

I'm very thankful for any form of response. I guess I'm just looking for some motivation or any words of wisdom to help me chase my dreams.

HowitZer

United States1610 Posts

June 21 2011 22:19 GMT

Clear away all internal and external debris that you feel gets in your way.

Gnial

Canada907 Posts

June 21 2011 22:47 GMT

There's no easy way to go about achieving any of those goals. One of my best friends, and my workout buddy, is an aspiring professional drummer. He has drummed for about 4-6 hours a day, pretty much every day for 7+ years. Some days significantly more than that, and some days less...I know, because I have to hear about it all the bloody time and I can hear him banging away from a block away whenever I go to his place. You need to dedicate a lot of time to it if you want to be exceptional. Get a practice pad and work on the fundamentals whenever you are away from your actual drum kit, constantly. Being in a band will do wonders for motivation...find a friend and try to get him motivated about guitar or saxaphone or some other instrument to help.

For exercise, I am currently in the process of trying to get into shape myself. When I used to be really athletic in university I was working out over 20 hours a week (it took me a year in order to get into good enough shape to work out 20 hours a week) - believe me, it does wonders for your self-confidence. But at the end of the day its the same thing: you need to dedicate a lot of time to it if you want to see results that will really make you feel great. If you don't want to go to a gym, you can always get the Insanity workout - its the only really good workout system I've found that lets you workout at home without equipment. (Plyometrics are killer though)

As for learning a language and a culture...guess what the answer is? Time!

Day 9 didn't just turn on the web cam and shine. He has thousands of hours of time invested into casting.
Tasteless? Same thing
Idra? Ask him how much time he spends playing.

A little bit of motivation from a team liquid thread isn't going to help you overcome those goals. You are going to have to dig deep and put in the long hours for whatever it is you want to achieve. Don't fool yourself into thinking it is easy. And don't tell anyone about your goals. I'm telling you right now - you haven't done shit yet. However, when you start telling people about what you're planning on achieving, you start to feel all warm and fuzzy imagining what it would be like. I bet writing up this tidy little blog, with all your big plans, felt nice. Well, guess what? Just because you made a crummy blog on TL doesn't mean shit - you haven't accomplished jack all yet.

http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html

That says it all. Come up with goals, come up with a plan, keep it to yourself, and know that if people aren't complimenting you on your physique, its because you haven't worked hard enough yet. Get into a mentality that it is embarrassing to feel good about something you haven't done yet, because the people that matter are the people that have put in the time, and you aren't fooling them. If people hear you drum and don't want you in their band, its because you haven't put the time in yet.

Work hard, put in the time, and don't trick yourself into thinking it'll all mesh together and become easy at some point. "Work ethic" isn't something you're born with, its something you learn and practice every day.

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Hopefully that works to boost you a bit. The further you get into life, the more time commitment is important. I'm still trying to adjust to it. Up until law school everything was a breeze, I never really had to put in time and so I could just game all day. Now, and what looks to be the rest of my life, the only way I can beat out any of my competition for jobs, clients etc. is by putting in huge amounts of time since everyone is talented. Thats not to say you can't enjoy it while you do it - but don't fool yourself.

And then the next battle is finding a life balance...sigh

Asparaguz

Sweden21 Posts

June 21 2011 23:14 GMT

Thank you, Gnial. Exactly what I needed, just some form of input from elsewhere to clear up my mind and get a perspective on things.

cojosc2

United States87 Posts

June 21 2011 23:36 GMT

I've been play percussion for about 10 years now.

It's awesome. When I lose focus I watch other drummers perform, maybe some that don't even play the style of music I play. When I was hardcore into rock/metal I would watch Portnoy, Blake Richardson, and other crazy drummers but every once in a while would watch someone like Dafnis Prieto. Not only did it motivate me to learn a few latin licks I was able to incorporate some of those into my metal and rock drumming! :DDD Then I started playing in a jazz band and just listened to a massive amount of jazz. Drumming is great for your body especially since you plan on doing metal drumming!!! That along with Karate will make you more confident about who you are as a person I promise. If you ever want to talk about music, starcraft or life just PM me. Good luck with everything bud.

DerNebel

Denmark648 Posts

June 21 2011 23:46 GMT

Go drumming! Speaking as a guitarist, the world needs more decent drummers. Be versatile, I just hate when I play a riff and my drummer tries to fit it into his 3 standard punk rhythms. Drives me craaaazy!

So yeah, speaking as a passionate guitarist, play more drums!
And to Gnial: You're right about the Day9 part. He turned on his webcam and frankly sucked a lot of ass until about 50-60 episodes into the show. The turn on the webcam part is the important one here. Oh, and the perseverance I guess.

And trust me on this point here. You don't need to train and be fit just so you think you look good. The social stigma against "unfit" people just tells you that you need to be. I practiced Ju-Jitsu for 2 years, so I know very well the satisfaction that comes from that sort of training. When it came right down to it though, becoming socially active paired with the mindset of "if you dont like me because of how I look then fuck you" helped me more with my insecurities than those years of MA training. I no longer feel weird about not being as trained and dont even give a fuck even when I get direct comments. In conclusion, it's actually not the body that matters. It's your mind, and it always has been. You can go train Karate again, but please do it to enjoy the training, and not as some sort of self-help.

tests

United States160 Posts

June 22 2011 00:13 GMT

Well put Dernebel. OP, I agree with DerNebel with the point that you should not strive to become something that society wants you to become (in order to become "accepted") but rather accept your self for who you are and not give a rats ass if others accept you. Do physical training not because you want to look good (although it is a nice by product) but rather because it will make you feel good and healthier. Have fun and good luck!

Asparaguz

Sweden21 Posts

June 22 2011 10:34 GMT

I agree DerNebel, and I am not wanting to start training MA to fit into society's little box of approved physical conditions. I'm doing it because I want to feel confident in myself, and have recently started realizing that I've matured a lot over the last 6 months or so, after having quite a rough time. I always *wanted* to be that person that doesn't give a fuck what people think of him, but never quite was. I am however feeling much more secure in myself as a person, and my interests, than I've ever been.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. <3

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