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Current Events
1.My parents decide that apparently I am not part of a discussion to get better internet, or vacation, or anything. Apparently I'm supposed to study 24/7 and never say a thing to them.
2.My parents decide that my brother with over a 4.0 is a juvenile delinquent and won't get anywhere in life so I'm there only hope.
3.My friend announces he's in love with me (and I am guy k?) and I realize I love him back. OH joy. In REALLY needed that. More about that and the AWFUL way he announced it later (which made me so angry I almost tried to kill him)
4.My brother is getting screwed over with yet another surgery. Which is OBVIOUSLY all his fault.... Oh yes, we HAD to go to the surgeon that screwed up the first time and NOW we wonder why he fails again. Scoliosis sucks.
5.I decide blogging will help.
Ahh my life. And I thought it was going so well.
Back up a few months and I did something amazing. I won over $1000 in a science fair (I want a computer for like under 400$ suggestions? Plans for building? I won't die if I have to pay more.) My social status went up, and I thought I had a girl. Progress.
Then it unraveled.
Quickly.
I'd say the domino in the equation would have to be my brother. Due to his BRILLIANT surgeon, who I wouldn't trust to gut a fish correctly, he's had another failed surgery. And now we realise we need someone else. At this point my mother goes crazy and decides I must help her with everything because my brother is a failure. Which isn't true. In any case this causes my whole life in my house to completely fall apart.
Apparently, when my life at home sucked, the rest of my life had to take a turn for the worse. And what caused it is highly ironic.
Every year, our band goes to disneyland, plays, and then you party. Then you go to the hotel room and sleep. Did I mention that you either have to share beds or sleep on the floor? So first of all I'm in the same bed as my best friend. Some idiot sprayed axe (deoderant if you don't know) which is actually a pretty strong substance in the get high category all over our room. And our air conditioning had bit the dust. OH joy. Somehow we ended up playing a messed up game of truth or dare, which got quite perverted. Any clothes we'd had on before hand were gone in about 10 minutes. Which is how I ended up being groped. By my friend. Who was begging me for sex (oh and by the way that would involve me on the bottom) I put two and two together and figured it out. He was in denial, but I waved it in his face. At this point, I decided to beat the pulp out of him and hit a wall of love. (in case you want clarification the your heart literallly hurts love) At this point, it was clear enough I was gay. For clarification, apparently I act a lot like Kurt from glee. Who is gay in case you don't watch that show. Oh, AND I like shopping some AND I have gay fashion sense.
This wouldn't be so bad, except now I get texts that say I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU like every 15 minutes. And he's horny as hell whenever I'm around. Oh and did I mention someone else remembers some of this? And that he won't hang out with me in public because that would make everyone think we were a couple (even though we are) and that would be just impossible(apparently no guys every hang out together lol). Today I went over to his house. He spent half the time trying to make out with me and the other half pushing me away. He's an odd guy. In any case, happiest place on earth my ass.
It hasn't been an easy change. I had to lift the veil my mind had made for me in an attempt to make me normal (which as someone points out normal should really be straight). After this, the weak drive I'd had for girls is completely gone, I'm getting constant input from my brain about guys, and I feel like jumping off a cliff. All of a sudden all I thought I’d known about love is false.
The only good news is my history teacher de weighted my grades which made them go up a couple of percent after summer started. So at least my parents are happy about that. Grades are the one thing I can't screw up.
At least I live in California. Gay friendly state FTW
 
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On June 12 2011 01:34 Aqueos wrote:
It hasn't been an easy change. I had to lift the veil my mind had made for me in an attempt to make me normal. After this, the weak drive I'd had for girls is completely gone, I'm getting constant input from my brain about guys, and I feel like jumping off a cliff. All of a sudden all I thought I’d known about love is false.
Realizing that you're gay doesn't make you any less normal!
Hope your brother's surgeries go well and that he starts to feel better. Sounds like he (and the rest of your family) could use it! GL~
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There are some things I don't understand.
You recognize you are gay, but then you say you can't handle the men input you receive.. Well, that's what the sex drive is I guess. If you were straight you would have the same thing with girls I guess, it can be kind of overwhelming.
Tell your parents to stop making such a fuss over nothing and that they have to get their shit together or things won't end well.
Explain to your boyfriend he has to back off from time to time lol, no one likes some clingy smothering person around them.
I guess you should support your bro as much as you can and it'll turn out for the better.
Do people around you already know you're gay or haven't you told them yet?
Also, liked the read, was kind of entertaining, sorry if you find that offensive :p
You'll manage..
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Growing up sucks :/, keep plugging away at it!
Good luck 
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sorry for your brother scoliosis sucks. hopefully the next surgery doesn't have a dickwad performing it.
i'm kind of confused are you gay? or are you not sure?
how did you win the 1000$? that is awesome
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On June 12 2011 02:03 neSix wrote:
Realizing that you're gay doesn't make you any less normal!
I wanted to quote this for sheer awesomeness.
I'm not gay, so I have no idea what you're going through or how you are dealing with it and I can't pretend to offer any advice on that subject. I just wanted to make sure that you saw what this guy wrote. It's win/win because even if you did see it, hopefully seeing the same statement again will put a smile on your face.
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On June 12 2011 02:06 ulszz wrote:
sorry for your brother scoliosis sucks. hopefully the next surgery doesn't have a dickwad performing it.
i'm kind of confused are you gay? or are you not sure?
how did you win the 1000$? that is awesome
I wrote this at 1 at night. Yeah I should clarify. I know I'm gay for one, its dead obvious. I have not announced it, but I do scream and always have screamed gay. I kinda saw it coming, but wishful thinking. It doesn't help, that he's more than likely bi, which translates to so sex crazed he'll go with either gender. Not really his fault so much though, seriously his father is an idiot with hiding it (you wouldn't believe the aps and porn he's accidently found on his father's itouch)
The 1000$, are a combination of things. Firstly I won sweepstakes at the tri valley science fair, which came with 500$, I won another award for 100$, and finally they sent me to the california state science fair, and overpayed living expenses by 400$. It was pretty awesome, I have to agree.
Double posts suck, so I'll edit this in
On June 12 2011 02:19 Redlol wrote:Show nested quote +On June 12 2011 02:03 neSix wrote:
Realizing that you're gay doesn't make you any less normal!
I wanted to quote this for sheer awesomeness. I'm not gay, so I have no idea what you're going through or how you are dealing with it and I can't pretend to offer any advice on that subject. I just wanted to make sure that you saw what this guy wrote. It's win/win because even if you did see it, hopefully seeing the same statement again will put a smile on your face.
I am amazed by how much my own brain has managed to deceive me lol. But yeah that's true enough. Seriously though, my personality used to have a split (between what I was and what society pushed me to be) and I'm really happy that's gone.
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Sorry all of that at once really sucks!
I guess it's especially difficult because the guy you are kinda involved with is/was also your best friend, and it doesn't seem like you can really talk to your parents or brother about stuff. I think maybe it would be good to have someone outside of all the big things going on in your life who you can talk to about things, and who can encourage you.
As for parents, they will be easier to deal with once you're in college (but for now there's nothing much to really do about them), and your brother's issues are out of your control, though I'm sure you can be encouraging to him. Just keep doing the best you can for yourself in terms of school/life decisions, and you'll come out okay.
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haha, you go to magic of music. I did that.
The rest sucks tho.
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On June 12 2011 03:49 Rainmaker5 wrote:
haha, you go to magic of music. I did that.
The rest sucks tho.
It is pretty awesome. Lol, actually wearing the shirt for that right now.
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I might just pay more. Or bribe my brother to do it, since he built one a while back and he's low on money.
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On June 12 2011 02:04 Uldridge wrote:
There are some things I don't understand.
You recognize you are gay, but then you say you can't handle the men input you receive.. Well, that's what the sex drive is I guess. If you were straight you would have the same thing with girls I guess, it can be kind of overwhelming.
Its not so bad, except it really puts a strain on friendships I have with people. It been rather sudden a change from a complete lack of sex drive, to one that I can barely control with people I know well and aren't interested at all. I think its mainly just all of this at once.
Tell your parents to stop making such a fuss over nothing and that they have to get their shit together or things won't end well.
My attempt to do that is probably going to be in my next blog, considering I've been trying most of my life. My parents have a... bad relationship to say the least. I'll probably write it tommorow or monday.
Explain to your boyfriend he has to back off from time to time lol, no one likes some clingy smothering person around them.
I probably should. I'm probably going to have to break up soon for my sake, it worries me that he's constantly trying to lure me in in that category
I guess you should support your bro as much as you can and it'll turn out for the better.
Do people around you already know you're gay or haven't you told them yet?
There unaware, though most have guessed, and if someone thinks it I don't try to make them think otherwise. Its the popular opinion, but its really a "rumor"(it's true so what is it?) right now.
Also, liked the read, was kind of entertaining, sorry if you find that offensive :p
That was my hope
You'll manage..
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I think this is possibly true, but it also depends on what kind of computer you're searching for. Since you're a member of TL, I'm going to guess that you want a computer largely for SC2.
Personally I played BW on a DELL machine for years and it served me very well. I never played any video games other than BW so I didn't have high requirements... When I was in high school before I had a job I bought the cheapest Dell computer I could find for $400 and it lasted me for years until SC2 came out and I decided to build my own.
For that reason, I would personally recommend at least looking into Dell. There will probably be a lot of enthusiasts claiming that Dell is the spawn of satan, but if all you're looking to do is watch VODs, browse the web, talk on IM and play games like SC2 on medium settings, I would take a guess that the budget dell desktops would actually serve you pretty well. Obviously if you're a huge gamer (or plan on doing video editing / graphics work, streaming, etc) and need more horsepower, a packaged computer from a company like Dell is probably not the most cost-efficient way to go.
Another place to check into is woot.com (http://www.woot.com). They will occasionally have good products go on sale for super cheap. I've seen packaged computers there, but always around $600. Even so, they're a steal for that price if you are lucky enough to get one. And in case you're unfamiliar with woot.com or any of its sister sites, the inventory changes every day so be sure to check it often to make sure you don't miss out on a good deal.
And finally, there are a shit ton of resources on TL alone (but also all over google) to help you figure out what kind of computer you can get with whatever budget you have.
Hope that helps!
[Edit]I was bored waiting for the TL Open Semis to start so I already got started on some of your research:
Believe it or not, http://www.woot.com/ actually has a REFURBISHED computer for sale today. It's really no top of the line machine, but it certainly would run SC2 very well on low / medium:
$549.99
Specifications:
Processor: AMD Phenom II X6 1045T (2.7GHz)
Processor Core: Six-Core
Memory: 8GB DDR3 (PC3-10600)
Max Memory: 16GB
Memory Slots: 4 (occupied)
Graphics: ATI Radeon HD 5570 (1GB dedicated)
Video Ports: HDMI, DVI, Display Port
Hard Drive: 1TB SATA (7200rpm)
Optical Drive: Blu-ray ROM with SuperMulti DVD±R/RW Double-Layer & LightScribe Technology
Audio Chipset: Integrated ALC888S-VD audio
Sound: HD 7.1 Surround Sound
Network: 10/100Mbps BaseT
Wireless: 802.11b/g/n
Front Panel:
15-in-1 Card Reader: (SM, MS, SD, miniSD, MSD, MS Pro, MSPD, xD, MMC, RS-MMC, MMCmobile, MMC+, CF-I, CF-II, IBM Microdrive)
(3) USB 2.0
(1) Headphone Jack
(1) Microphone Jack
Rear Panel:
8-Channel (7.1) HD Audio
(4) USB 2.0
(1) RJ-45 LAN
(1) Digital Audio Out
Expansion Slots & Bays:
(3) PCI Express X1 Slots (available)
(1) PCI Express X16 Slots (occupied)
(1) Minicard (occupied)
(2) 5.25" Drive Bay (1 occupied)
(3) 3.5" Drive Bay (1 occupied)
Operating System:
Genuine Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
Power Supply:
300W Max
Dimensions:
16.75" (L) x 7" (W) x 16" (H)
Weight:
19.6 lbs
In the box:
HP Pavilion Elite HPE-410F Desktop Computer
USB Keyboard
USB Optical Mouse
Power Cord
VGA to DVI Adapter
Quick Start Guide
Remember that woot.com sells a different product every day, so this deal WILL NOT be available tomorrow! Having that said, computers like this come up for a similar price every month or two from the little bit that I've checked.
If you are interested in going the Dell route, their cheapest desktop model is the Dell Inspiron 570 Desktop $349.99:
Processor
AMD Athlon™ II X2 Processor 245 (2.9GHz, 1M, 2C)
Operating System
Genuine Windows® 7 Home Premium 64-Bit
Monitor
No Monitor
Memory4
4GB4 DDR3 SDRAM at 1333MHz
Hard Drive
500GB6 SATA hard drive (7200RPM)
Video Card
Integrated ATI HD4200 RadeonTM
Optical Drive
16X DVD+/-RW Drive
Keyboard
Dell USB Entry Keyboard
Security Software
McAfee SecurityCenter, 30-Days
Warranty
1 Year Basic Service Plan
Weight
17.4 lbs
Dell also allows customization on their machines so you might be able to upgrade specific components if you are willing to spend more. I've only ever bought from Dell once and had no trouble so that's the only experience I can speak from. That was also about eight years ago so who knows what kind of quality product they put out today. I've never worked with their customer service so I can't speak on that.
+ Show Spoiler [Finally, a disclaimer for all of the c…] +
I'm just trying to offer quick and easy budget options. I am trying to make it clear that the best way to get the most cost-efficient machine is probably through custom building, but that takes time and even though building your own is a better value, building your own tends to cost a bit more than these sorts of budget machines.
Having all of that said, I do think that HP machine on woot.com is a pretty good deal. You might need to upgrade the video card and power supply, but on-the-whole I think it's very reasonable.
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On June 12 2011 05:43 neSix wrote:I think this is possibly true, but it also depends on what kind of computer you're searching for. Since you're a member of TL, I'm going to guess that you want a computer largely for SC2. Personally I played BW on a DELL machine for years and it served me very well. I never played any video games other than BW so I didn't have high requirements... When I was in high school before I had a job I bought the cheapest Dell computer I could find for $400 and it lasted me for years until SC2 came out and I decided to build my own. For that reason, I would personally recommend at least looking into Dell. There will probably be a lot of enthusiasts claiming that Dell is the spawn of satan, but if all you're looking to do is watch VODs, browse the web, talk on IM and play games like SC2 on medium settings, I would take a guess that the budget dell desktops would actually serve you pretty well. Obviously if you're a huge gamer (or plan on doing video editing / graphics work, streaming, etc) and need more horsepower, a packaged computer from a company like Dell is probably not the most cost-efficient way to go. Another place to check into is woot.com (http://www.woot.com). They will occasionally have good products go on sale for super cheap. I've seen packaged computers there, but always around $600. Even so, they're a steal for that price if you are lucky enough to get one. And in case you're unfamiliar with woot.com or any of its sister sites, the inventory changes every day so be sure to check it often to make sure you don't miss out on a good deal. And finally, there are a shit ton of resources on TL alone (but also all over google) to help you figure out what kind of computer you can get with whatever budget you have. Hope that helps! [Edit]I was bored waiting for the TL Open Semis to start so I already got started on some of your research: Believe it or not, http://www.woot.com/ actually has a REFURBISHED computer for sale today. It's really no top of the line machine, but it certainly would run SC2 very well on low / medium: Show nested quote +
$549.99
Specifications:
Processor: AMD Phenom II X6 1045T (2.7GHz)
Processor Core: Six-Core
Memory: 8GB DDR3 (PC3-10600)
Max Memory: 16GB
Memory Slots: 4 (occupied)
Graphics: ATI Radeon HD 5570 (1GB dedicated)
Video Ports: HDMI, DVI, Display Port
Hard Drive: 1TB SATA (7200rpm)
Optical Drive: Blu-ray ROM with SuperMulti DVD±R/RW Double-Layer & LightScribe Technology
Audio Chipset: Integrated ALC888S-VD audio
Sound: HD 7.1 Surround Sound
Network: 10/100Mbps BaseT
Wireless: 802.11b/g/n
Front Panel:
15-in-1 Card Reader: (SM, MS, SD, miniSD, MSD, MS Pro, MSPD, xD, MMC, RS-MMC, MMCmobile, MMC+, CF-I, CF-II, IBM Microdrive)
(3) USB 2.0
(1) Headphone Jack
(1) Microphone Jack
Rear Panel:
8-Channel (7.1) HD Audio
(4) USB 2.0
(1) RJ-45 LAN
(1) Digital Audio Out
Expansion Slots & Bays:
(3) PCI Express X1 Slots (available)
(1) PCI Express X16 Slots (occupied)
(1) Minicard (occupied)
(2) 5.25" Drive Bay (1 occupied)
(3) 3.5" Drive Bay (1 occupied)
Operating System:
Genuine Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
Power Supply:
300W Max
Dimensions:
16.75" (L) x 7" (W) x 16" (H)
Weight:
19.6 lbs
In the box:
HP Pavilion Elite HPE-410F Desktop Computer
USB Keyboard
USB Optical Mouse
Power Cord
VGA to DVI Adapter
Quick Start Guide
Remember that woot.com sells a different product every day, so this deal WILL NOT be available tomorrow! Having that said, computers like this come up for a similar price every month or two from the little bit that I've checked. If you are interested in going the Dell route, their cheapest desktop model is the Dell Inspiron 570 Desktop $349.99: Show nested quote +
Processor
AMD Athlon™ II X2 Processor 245 (2.9GHz, 1M, 2C)
Operating System
Genuine Windows® 7 Home Premium 64-Bit
Monitor
No Monitor
Memory4
4GB4 DDR3 SDRAM at 1333MHz
Hard Drive
500GB6 SATA hard drive (7200RPM)
Video Card
Integrated ATI HD4200 RadeonTM
Optical Drive
16X DVD+/-RW Drive
Keyboard
Dell USB Entry Keyboard
Security Software
McAfee SecurityCenter, 30-Days
Warranty
1 Year Basic Service Plan
Weight
17.4 lbs
Dell also allows customization on their machines so you might be able to upgrade specific components if you are willing to spend more. I've only ever bought from Dell once and had no trouble so that's the only experience I can speak from. That was also about eight years ago so who knows what kind of quality product they put out today. I've never worked with their customer service so I can't speak on that. + Show Spoiler [Finally, a disclaimer for all of the c…] +
I'm just trying to offer quick and easy budget options. I am trying to make it clear that the best way to get the most cost-efficient machine is probably through custom building, but that takes time and even though building your own is a better value, building your own tends to cost a bit more than these sorts of budget machines.
Having all of that said, I do think that HP machine on woot.com is a pretty good deal. You might need to upgrade the video card and power supply, but on-the-whole I think it's very reasonable.
At the least thanks. I should probably go just bug my brother and ask him what he used, since his computer cost like 400$ a year ago, and it runs SC2 on ultra. In any case, I was hoping to get my hands on the Diablo three beta specs before I did anything, to make sure I'd be able to run it. I need to give this more though O.o
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On June 12 2011 06:50 Zim23 wrote:
Are you Froadac's brother?
Yes. It appears my brother changed m answer again. IRL meddler right there O.o
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On June 12 2011 06:50 Zim23 wrote:
Are you Froadac's brother?
holy shit how didnt i see that. epic blogging family for sure.
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On June 14 2011 05:23 -Frog- wrote:holy shit how didnt i see that. epic blogging family for sure.
Heh lol. His blogs are better than mine. BUT I SHALL WRITE ONE EVERY DAY. We'll see how it goes.
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EPT
