EPTBut even as I tried to write in such a tense that didn't reveal the ending and also showed the story's status (resolved), I think I still wrote it as if I was in the progress of "making her mine."
Anyway, I thought it'd be nice for a change in the usual girlblogs here on TL for one to be a success story, and a strange one at that. Here was a pretty girl, to whom I manned up and got into a relationship with. And then the problems started revealing themselves. Here, I wanted to explain how I overcame each obstacle and made the relationship work. Yes, so tldr, I successfully changed the way she views me, and has come to value "us" so so much. There is true love in this.
So for those who read the previous installments, the first problem was the age/maturity issue. I approached this issue by first trying to rationalize and talk to her about it, and it didn't really convince her that much.... so I ended up letting my actions speak for themselves. Several issues (including the other problems) let me display this, and she eventually came to view me a strong and mature, able to take care of her.
Second problem was distance. She was going to be going back to Shanghai. Solved this problem with a combination of the above solution, making her realize that she enjoys living in the US more than in China, and making her value the relationship so much that a period of long distance is absolutely worth it.
Third problem, her mom. Her mom is a little bit controlling, and she didn't really approve of me. Oh well. My gf can make her own decisions, she's 22. After she had grown to love me, she told me "I think I would die if my mom tried to separate us." Kinda ominous, but it means she really wants to stay with me.
Fourth problem - this goddamn motherfucker of a guy. Her ex. Well, sorta. They could be considered bf-gf, but after we started going out, she "broke up" with him. Now what I mean is this. I thought she used to have a bf, but broke up after she came to the US. In reality, she and him never broke up, but she broke up with him in her mind and never told him. Meaning, she and him were through, and she would not go back to him, just that he still thought they were together....
Now when I found this out, I was so hurt. It meant that she was pretty much cheating on both of us. Well I don't really know what this is considered, but I still felt really hurt. Anyway, after a huge huge long talk about morals, logic, rationality, feelings, proactive problem solving, and her problem of running away from problems instead of confronting them, she understood and sent him an email explaining that she was (and already had) broken up with him for another guy. I felt pretty damn good. Oh I was relishing in his sadness. It felt good. I was even there the next day when she and him were IMing, and he was saying all sorts of stuff like "omg im such a fuckin idiot. how could i think that im the kind of guy for you." and then my gf replied with ".... yeah..." I felt so good.
Fifth problem - friends back in China. For the longest time, she hid me from everyone back home except her family. This was one of the biggest problems. Because she had already decided she would leave me when she goes back, and because of the boyfriend situation, she never told anyone. She had a blog where she writes about her life here, and nowhere was I ever mentioned. I ask how her friends are and so on, and she tells me about them, but she never tells them about me. It made me feel terrible. Sorta like she was ashamed of having me as her bf, so much that she couldn't tell her friends.
Well, this was sorta solved along with the other problems. She realized she really, deep down inside, wanted to be with me, and overcame her fear of her friends' expectations, and had a good time telling her friends about me.
I had wanted the blog to be more of a discussion of the morals involved in actively influencing someone else's mindset and way of thinking in order to achieve your own goals (like I had mentioned in the last blog), rather than people telling me it couldn't be done. Because I had already done it before writing this up, but I also wanted a little bit of suspense going on.
But anyway, I didn't go too much into detail about what I said to her and that sorta stuff, just the before-and-after, what happened, but not how. If you guys are interested, I could go more into detail.
