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Being the Target

Blogs > gumbum8
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gumbum8
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States721 Posts
February 04 2011 16:02 GMT
#1
I know quite a few of you will understand where I'm coming from when I say I play BW/SCII to compete. I'm a competitive person; and while it may be sad that the way I can best compete is in video games, it is what it is and I have no quarrels. However, there's a problem, and to fully explain the problem, I've got to take you back in history. Come on kids, let's hop on the magic schoolbus!
~woosh~
[image loading]

So it begins with finding BW. This is about 3 years ago: I can only say it was my sophomore year in high school for sure. A new guy had come to our school, and through talking we eventually discovered our interests lay in similar areas, and so a couple of friends started playing games competitively. This was completely novel to me, but I was enthralled by it. Then, one of the games we stumbled upon was BroodWar. I was hooked pretty much immediately. After a week of playing it, I had heard of TL, and APM, and read a bunch of strategy articles, and Ma Jae Yoon was my hero (even though he was slumpin' hard).
Then I met my korean friend (we'll call him Andy) Andy. He had heard of BW, and he was pretty good (definitely better than me), so we ended up playing lots of games together. After about 2 weeks of nothing but losses, I finally won a game. That was it. Of course, the next game I lost, but I had knocked over the first metaphorical domino.
[image loading]

After that, it went downhill I guess- I got better and everyone else stayed the same. While I was intensely competitive, noone else really latched on to that idea, so it became a losing battle for me. In a way, winning was losing, so then all I had was iCCup, and unfortunately was hidden behind the veil of anonymity. I even paid money to play games with machine, because I figured I may as well try to be the god damn best in the country if the school was going to keel over and die so quickly. And he raped me ZvZ. I won the ZvPs and the ZvTs (except for a really interesting goliath build I learned about), but the ZvZs were really... enlightening. And entertaining, because I lost every one. I suppose I must be a masochist, because losing to people better than me is what I enjoy the most.
Anyway, it's safe to say I didn't conquer the country for 2 reasons: I sucked (C on iCCup), and SC2 took the competition away. When SC2 came out, I gave up, and descended into the obscurity of school and personal pursuits for about a year. Of course, it was a good year, probably better than when I was playing BW, but I'm just describing the phase.

Now, There are new kids at school- and they play SCII. And I hear stories about how good they are. And I'm intrigued, because it seems genuinely competitive. so to make this as quick as possible, I bought it and started playing. In my first 4 games with these friends, 3 were wins, and I promise you, I haven't watched/read/observed/played any SCII prior to these games. Since then, I haven't lost to any of my friends. I'm in gold, but all of my matches are against plat/diamond players (why are there even leagues? why cant we just see our true rating or whatever). There's no invincible target for me to reach for, so in my mind I've essentially wasted 55 dollars.
[image loading]
Now, I have to reach for really big goals- Now I may as well try to be the best in the states (win money!).

But, something interesting has happened. The new guys, the SCII players, have not just given up yet, and I'm thrilled- but that makes me the target. I hate being the target. Every game I feel like, I dunno, that there's a pressure for me to do well. When people are equal or better than me, I fucking love the intensity, but when I feel like I'm supposed to win 10 out of 10 games, I never want to be the loser.

So I suppose this may very well be the first blog of many to come in my adventures of SC2. My goals have been set, so I suppose we'll see how it goes. I've yet to watch or read any strategy on SC2, but I suppose that's a danger in itself: too many people get so caught up in the media surrounding the game that they forget to actually play the game. So here I am, a 21-11 (I think) gold zerg player (zerg is so much stronger than everyone keeps telling me it is, srsly) with a declaration of war I suppose. We'll see what comes of it. Thanks for reading!


*
but really, has anyone REALLY been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
~ava
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada379 Posts
February 04 2011 16:12 GMT
#2
Good luck, do your best but try to be realistic; even someone who is "the best" like Flash still loses 2 games out of 10. Don't feel so pressured to win all the time.
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
February 04 2011 16:31 GMT
#3
Have fun with it. I was caught up in a similar situation after I started playing competitive smash, so I know what it's like to be "the target."

After all, it's your pride that's on the line. If you lose one game, well... I think Ender Wiggin described it best.
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
gumbum8
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States721 Posts
February 04 2011 16:41 GMT
#4
On February 05 2011 01:31 d3_crescentia wrote:
After all, it's your pride that's on the line. If you lose one game, well... I think Ender Wiggin described it best.

Exactly! This is an issue of respect- and if I start losing, then I lose the respect that only the best is due, and it all begins with 1 domino.
While writing this I'm laughing because of how cocky it sounds, it is (to a not so serious degree) true.
but really, has anyone REALLY been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
McIver
Profile Joined September 2010
United States30 Posts
February 04 2011 17:12 GMT
#5
I kinda know what you mean. I used to play sc and bw in middle school ('97-'98), now I play SC2 with an 8th grader who's the son of my friend. When I play him like I'm laddering I demolish him, but then I get complacent somewhat because I feel like I'm supposed to win every time. Do something weird, he all-ins me, and I lose or barely win.

And I don't know if it's like this with your friends, but when I do lose to him, I NEVER hear the end of it and he goes and tells his brother and his dad. But it also feels kind of good, just because I know he respects so much my abilities in the game and how much us playing together helps him. You're helping your buddies in the way your friend in BW helped you, and like I'm helping my junior high buddy.
Servius_Fulvius
Profile Joined August 2009
United States947 Posts
February 04 2011 18:11 GMT
#6
I watched your BW stream when it was up in May/June-ish. If you understood how BW worked so well than getting the hang of SC2 is a lot less work. Recently, though, one of my friends who I almost never lost to in BW picked up SC2 and surpassed me. I definitely feel that same pressure to be better, and at the same time realizing that I was the first hurdle to their improvement.

You could always try 2v2'ing with them. That way they see how much of a superior player you are and feel a lot less confident in surpassing you!
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