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1000 Post Celebration: Best Deaths

Blogs > KurtistheTurtle
Post a Reply
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-01 21:02:20
October 01 2010 19:09 GMT
#1
Best Deaths

Each one of these is really good. But, if you read too many in a row, you'll kind of get overloaded with too much good information. I recommend taking a bit between each few.

Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometers away. No trace of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55 meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.

Sergey Tuganov, a 28-year-old Russian, bet two women that he could continuously have sex with them both for twelve hours. Several minutes after winning the $4,300 bet, he suffered a heart attack and died, apparently because of having ingested an entire bottle of Viagra just after accepting the bet

[image loading]

Death From Holding a Pee In
Danish nobleman and astronomer Tycho Brahe was one interesting fellow. He kept a dwarf as a court jester who sat under the table during dinner. He even had a tame pet moose.

Show nested quote +
On October 02 2010 04:39 Qatol wrote:
How do you mention Tycho's moose without talking about how it died?
It died by getting drunk at a party and falling down a flight of stairs.
What I want to know is how it got up the stairs in the first place.


Tycho also lost the tip of his nose in a duel with another Danish nobleman and had to wear a “dummy” nose made from silver and gold, but that’s another story.

It was said that Tycho had to hold his pee during one particularly long banquet in 1601 (getting up in the middle of a dinner was considered really rude) that his bladder, strained to its limits, developed an infection which later killed him!

Later analyses suggested that Tycho died because of mercury poisoning but that’s not nearly as interesting as the original story.

Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double sidedwhite board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.

On 16th December 1916 a group of nobles, politics and Prince Yusupov led Rasputin to the celler in the Prince's house. Rasputin agreed to go because he thought that the Prince's beautiful wife Princess Irina would be there when in fact she was not. When they got to the celler the Prince offered Rasputin cakes and sweets which had earlier been filled with cyanide(a deadly poison)-enough to kill 5 people. Though Rasputin had eaten the sweets he was yet to die, worried by this the Prince shot him with a gun in the back of his head.

A while later the Prince went to check the body and found Rasputin's eyes open. The story goes that he tried to strangle the Prince while the other conspirators shot him in the back 3 times. Not wanting to take chances they struck him with a blunt object knocking him unconscious.

After that they rolled him in a carpet and drove him to the Neva River, then they threw him in. His body was found later with his arms in a curved shaped with blood under his nails which shows he tried to dig himself out of the river.


1478: George Plantagenet, Duke of Clarence, was executed by drowning in a barrel of Malmsey wine at his own request.

1981: Paul Gauci, a 41-year old Maltese man, died after welding a butterfly bomb to a metal pipe and using it as a mallet, thinking it was a harmless can


And the best of them all...
+ Show Spoiler +
‎207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunken donkey attempt to eat figs

I want to live in ancient Greece lmao

****
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
kaisr
Profile Joined October 2007
Canada715 Posts
October 01 2010 19:25 GMT
#2
lol the greece one is obv the best. was only the donkey drunk? or was he too
Tazza
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Korea (South)1678 Posts
October 01 2010 19:37 GMT
#3
Lol, I'd have loved to meet that tycho guy.
Qatol
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States3165 Posts
October 01 2010 19:39 GMT
#4
How do you mention Tycho's moose without talking about how it died?
It died by getting drunk at a party and falling down a flight of stairs.
What I want to know is how it got up the stairs in the first place.
Uff Da
shieldbreak
Profile Joined February 2010
United States406 Posts
October 01 2010 19:44 GMT
#5
On October 02 2010 04:39 Qatol wrote:
How do you mention Tycho's moose without talking about how it died?
It died by getting drunk at a party and falling down a flight of stairs.
What I want to know is how it got up the stairs in the first place.

Magic moose powers.
Many a sleepless nights were spent doing absolutely nothing.
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-01 20:19:58
October 01 2010 19:49 GMT
#6
On October 02 2010 04:39 Qatol wrote:
How do you mention Tycho's moose without talking about how it died?
It died by getting drunk at a party and falling down a flight of stairs.
What I want to know is how it got up the stairs in the first place.

the midget
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
rredtooth
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
5464 Posts
October 01 2010 19:50 GMT
#7
you will forever be remembered for this
[formerly sponsored by the artist formerly known as Gene]
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
October 01 2010 19:54 GMT
#8
my favorite post from that thread is

On August 11 2009 15:51 thunk wrote:
You have about 1.5% of your posts in this thread. Does not bode well for the quality of your other posts.

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
October 01 2010 20:02 GMT
#9
why couldn't the moose just... walk up the stairs ?
MangoTango
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States3670 Posts
October 01 2010 20:14 GMT
#10
Tycho Brahe kept a pet moose? And it died drunkenly falling down stairs? I want to have a drink with this guy.
"One fish, two fish, red fish, BLUE TANK!" - Artosis
tofucake
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Hyrule19213 Posts
October 01 2010 20:22 GMT
#11
Where's Rasputin? He was disembowled.

Then poisoned.*
Then shot.*
Then shot 3 more times.*
Then beaten.*
Then castrated.*
Then beaten some more.*
Then tied up, rolled in a carpet, and tossed into a river.*


IMO it's the best murder story every, since Rasputin was basically immortal.

*All this happened in 1 night.
Liquipediaasante sana squash banana
deconduo
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Ireland4122 Posts
October 01 2010 20:25 GMT
#12
Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometers away. No trace of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55 meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.



Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double sidedwhite board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.


Are both fake. Especially the first one.
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
October 01 2010 20:29 GMT
#13
They're both from an fbi report so I assume they're real

On October 02 2010 05:22 tofucake wrote:
Where's Rasputin? He was disembowled.

Then poisoned.*
Then shot.*
Then shot 3 more times.*
Then beaten.*
Then castrated.*
Then beaten some more.*
Then tied up, rolled in a carpet, and tossed into a river.*


IMO it's the best murder story every, since Rasputin was basically immortal.

*All this happened in 1 night.

ive seen this so many times that its lost its luster but ill add it for people who might not have seen it
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
GreatFall
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States1061 Posts
October 01 2010 22:55 GMT
#14
Very interesting read and congrats on 1000.
Inventor of the 'Burning Tide' technique to quickly getting Outmatched Crusher achivement :D
huameng
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States1133 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-01 23:03:42
October 01 2010 23:01 GMT
#15


The story of Rasputin, kinda, in metal.

Oh and that was a cover of

skating
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