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Hello fellow TL citizens,
I come to you for advice on a sticky girl question. So here's the question. We're all (or at least I am) clear on how your best friends' ex-GFs, sisters and so on are off limits.
However, does this still apply to girls that your friend slept w/ once and wasn't even in a relationship with?
More precisely: There's this call, let's call her Jane that I know for a couple of months. Now, my buddy Jim comes to town to visit for a couple of days, hooks up w/ her, talks to her for a while on the phone/Skype (liked her more than I thought at first, I guess) and proceeds to let it go b/c long-distance sucks and b/c he's not doing so bad w/ girls in general...
Ok so say, this is over for like a month, am I allowed to make a move on her or respond to her moves, or is it still going to lead to too much trouble?
Poll: TL's adviceShe's fair game (59) 51% Just talk to your buddy (52) 45% She's off limits (4) 3% 115 total votes Your vote: TL's advice (Vote): She's off limits
(Vote): She's fair game
(Vote): Just talk to your buddy
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If I were you, I would tell your buddy about it first cuz I'm a pussy. I don't see how your friend could hate you for doing it, but if he let the relationship go because of it being long distance then there might be some lingering affection... lets see what TL says lol 
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Just get with the girl. Also your name is perfect
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On July 24 2010 19:48 H wrote:
Just get with the girl. Also your name is perfect
Hahaha wow didn't notice that xD
On July 24 2010 19:39 indecision wrote:
Now, my buddy Jim comes to town to visit for a couple of days, hooks up w/ her, talks to her for a while on the phone/Skype (liked her more than I thought at first, I guess) and proceeds to let it go b/c long-distance sucks and b/c he's not doing so bad w/ girls in general...
If he's getting with other ppl all the time, then go right ahead.
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Talk to your friend about it if you feel that uncomfortable. Also your friend might even say, "GO FOR IT DUDE!"
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TALK to your friend as SOON as posible, im serious.
I was in a similar position as you, i talked to my friend, and guess what?, the thing was they were dating secretly for a long time, hiding their relationship for some reasons.
I talked to her later and it was true.
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I'd consider her fair game. On the other hand I shy off from girls my friends been with just coz I'm not so fond of getting sloppy seconds from someone I know.
If she prefers you over him I dont see any wrong in trying to get her.
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Man really? Follow Nike's lead and Just Do It.
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theres absolutely nothing wrong with talking to him
why not?
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theres absolutely nothing wrong with NOT talking to him
why?
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On July 24 2010 20:48 nath wrote:
theres absolutely nothing wrong with NOT talking to him
why?
Some don't like to cross swords :/
yea, talk to your friend ... ask him general question like "how is it going with you and jane?". If he tells you that they are actually in a relationship then i think it's best that you withdraw. If he's like "nah nothing serious ..." don't be too sure about that and go ahead hitting on her. He might be hiding it for god knows why. To confirm it, you can show some signals that you're somewhat interested in her but not too obvious, just signals. Say stuffs like "She seems pretty nice/funny" ... Give him an idea that you have been paying attention to her ... if he got something for her, sure as hell he'll tell you to prevent any dramas from happening ... but if he's still like "yea i guess so ..." and seems pretty meh'ish about it then i think it's safe to assume that our boy may get some love here <3
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talk it out.. if you give a fuck about your relationship as friend with the guy if you dont then just hook up with her again.. I had a similar situation and i talked it out he said it was cool, although it was not the same situation the guy was with another chick... so you choose
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United States16368 Posts
wtf, this is so beyond fair game
Yea you can talk to your buddy:
"Yo dawg, can I fuck Jane"
"Who?"
"That bitch you slept with when you visited"
"Yea go for it"
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On July 24 2010 21:19 nayumi wrote:Show nested quote +On July 24 2010 20:48 nath wrote:
theres absolutely nothing wrong with NOT talking to him
why? Some don't like to cross swords :/ yea, talk to your friend ... ask him general question like "how is it going with you and jane?". If he tells you that they are actually in a relationship then i think it's best that you withdraw. If he's like "nah nothing serious ..." don't be too sure about that and go ahead hitting on her. He might be hiding it for god knows why. To confirm it, you can show some signals that you're somewhat interested in her but not too obvious, just signals. Say stuffs like "She seems pretty nice/funny" ... Give him an idea that you have been paying attention to her ... if he got something for her, sure as hell he'll tell you to prevent any dramas from happening ... but if he's still like "yea i guess so ..." and seems pretty meh'ish about it then i think it's safe to assume that our boy may get some love here <3
1. its an ex
2. hes fucked around with other girls
its not crossing swords, its being a god damned pussy and/or overcautious.
just do it.
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Well seemed like he just hooked up tis all...hje has not other strings so go for it. If he doesn't care for her then what does it matter if u tell him or not. Also, why would u go sleep with her? Wouldn't she have done other guys too? And ARE you sure he doesn't really wanna relationship
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Dont follow some gay ass "bro code", think for yourself maybe
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Article 2: (1) If you’re hitting on a chick which a friend of yours declared interest in as well, at least ask him if he minds. (2) If he’s a real good and close bro to you listen to his opinion and follow it.
http://miteshk.blogspot.com/2009/12/holy-bro-code.html for the source (probaly just a retranscription.)
So talk to your buddy first.
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On July 24 2010 19:48 H wrote:
Just get with the girl. Also your name is perfect
haha this, but really if your friend has no intention of being in a relationship with her then you might as well go for it. I guess you could talk to your buddy, but its probably ok if you don't, things could get awkward though if you/her get into a relationship, and ever hang out with your buddy.
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EPT
