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First off, I am bit discourage from posting up this up given the recent trend of relationship-help blogs. But I figured it would be interesting to find out what other people's opinion on this would be so, why not.
I had just started a new job(after almost a year of searching), and I considering whenever or not I should I pursue a office relationship. The girl I am thinking about had just started as well. We both work at the front desk so there are many opportunities for small talk. I am very good people person, so I was had no trouble into talking (flirting?) and making her laugh, though I am consciously held myself back from getting too friendly with her.(I am VERY familiar with the dangers of the friend zone)
So now that I explained the situation, Here's a couple of issues I been struggling in my head.
First is whether or not should I even purse an office relationship. This is first real job I had since graduating,(not counting old side-jobs) and I am not sure if I should risk purse a office relationship if it might conflict with my job. My main concern is if it is against office regulations or disapproval from my superiors. Though the awkwardness of a possible rejection is also a worry, but I can just laugh that off easily.
Speaking of rejection I could also be reading this wrong and she just not be interested in me. Like I said I been trying to do the delicate balance of keeping my distance and being friendly/flirty, and likewise she been doing the same, so I don't really have a 100 percent sure if she would be interested. She did add me on facebook, though I never asked or told her about it. I started the job last week, so I know if I were to ask her out, I would have to do it soon. (before the DREADED FRIENDZONE!!!!)
To be honest the fear of rejection is not stopping me from asking her her out, my concerns were expressed in my first point.
 
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generally as long as it doesn't interfere with your actual work and judgements too much there's not going to be a concern from your superiors if your going out with someone or not.
Office job is a place where thats fine,
Teaching however... on a taster into teaching into my degree. damn! some of these teachers!
i wish i didnt hear, "always be professional with other members of staff"on my teaching course 
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If you're a very good people person, the last thing you should do is be asking nerds on the internet anything about relationships.
Do what you think is best, and if you get the girl, great. If you don't, maybe the next one will go better. Overthinking these things is always the worst thing you can do, so just act the way you always do and ask her out if you want to. Definitely don't waste your time stressing over it.
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naw, dont shit where you eat. best to explore relationship opportunities elsewhere.
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just ask your boss or whatever how they feel about it? seems kind of straight forward if your problem isn't social skills...
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ever see the show "The Office?"
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
Floor relationships, work relationships, college program relationships. Don't do it. Just don't.
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dont listen to the haters Dandy4. u can have many jobs in ur life but u can only have ONE tru love. she could be the 1 man, she could be the 1.
go for it, u will regret it forever if u do not
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On July 12 2010 07:30 Maero wrote:
If you're a very good people person, the last thing you should do is be asking nerds on the internet anything about relationships.
Don't underestimate the TL'ers, there have been a number of times where I found their opinions rather insightful. Not to mention I am still a nerd at heart.
On July 12 2010 07:34 Herculix wrote:
just ask your boss or whatever how they feel about it? seems kind of straight forward if your problem isn't social skills...
I was thinking about it, but I am literally one of three guys working there other two being the security guard and the janitor, and I don't know how the boss would feel about when, the new guy just came up and asked "Hey, is cool if I bang one of the co workers?"
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Don't shit where you eat. Words to live by.
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There is a german proverb that goes "Stecke nie den Füller in Firmentinte", which translates to something like "Never put a pen in company ink." Seriously though, you'll be together 24/7, which is not the best of ideas. Also, your conversations will probably mostly revolve about your work, which seems kind of boring. I wouldn't want to talk with my girlfriend about my work all day.
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While I am aware of what you guys are trying to say about the "sit where you eat" thing, but I think I might be under a different situation. It's kinda of part time internship so its not a nine to five job. We also have different day-shifts, since we are both interns. At any giving week we would only share a one day 4hr shift.
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I know for the company that I'm currently interning at that they specifically mentioned in the code that office relationship is highly discouraged. You might want to make sure that it's allowed before you make a move.
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If you truly feel she is the one, listen to your heart!
Go for it!
:D
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United States24495 Posts
On July 12 2010 07:30 Maero wrote:
If you're a very good people person, the last thing you should do is be asking nerds on the internet anything about relationships.
Do what you think is best, and if you get the girl, great. If you don't, maybe the next one will go better. Overthinking these things is always the worst thing you can do, so just act the way you always do and ask her out if you want to. Definitely don't waste your time stressing over it.
As a pre-service teacher definitely.
I know many teachers who have gotten married after working in the same school so it definitely happens and works out. I'd wait until tenured though to do that...
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I was in a work relationship once, after it ended so did my job.
If your job means anything to you, learn from my mistake and DONT DO IT.
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On July 12 2010 08:51 Dandy4 wrote:
While I am aware of what you guys are trying to say about the "sit where you eat" thing, but I think I might be under a different situation. It's kinda of part time internship so its not a nine to five job. We also have different day-shifts, since we are both interns. At any giving week we would only share a one day 4hr shift.
Your whole first post talks about how this is your first job, but now you're an intern and this is not permanent? Don't change your story to try to justify to yourself making a move. Either do it or don't, but don't bullshit yourself about the reasoning, nor don't bullshit yourself to placate people on TL who have raised legitimate concerns.
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United States24495 Posts
On July 12 2010 09:41 CheAse wrote:
I was in a work relationship once, after it ended so did my job.
If your job means anything to you, learn from my mistake and DONT DO IT.
Why did your job end? Can you explain it?
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On July 12 2010 09:41 CheAse wrote:
I was in a work relationship once, after it ended so did my job.
If your job means anything to you, learn from my mistake and DONT DO IT.
This is a is only is a summer internship so I will only have this job two months reguardless (hopefully they hire me for a more long position.) Also I do know she is still in college so she won't be looking for a position pass the internship period.
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Two teachers in my high school worked in the same department. The female teacher was engaged, but broke it off to pursue a relationship with her co-worker. This happened my freshman-sophomore year, then in my junior year they married.
So yes, sometimes office relationships work.
Another anecdote: Pam and Jim.
If you can sufficiently segregate your personal life from your work life, I don't see any reason why you should actively prohibit an office relationship.
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EPT
