EPT
(This is a bit of a depressing blog, but I need to air the issues in it so I can change my attitude before the beginning of the new season.)
+ Show Spoiler +
I was speaking to Lilsusie over MSN this morning and describing to her how I feel as though my internship with Fomos isn't a success. So far the bulk of the comments for the first two articles were complaints from the Korean netizens about the lack of a translation.
Then I posted my eSTRO manager interview and received only 11 comments plus it was dropped off the front page within five hours or so of being published.
The article has gotten a lot of comments here on TL once I reposted it, but that doesn't help the initial humiliation I felt when it came to posting it on Fomos. The same can be said for the conclusion of the Violet Introduction project - where are you FanCafe members?
Then I posted my eSTRO manager interview and received only 11 comments plus it was dropped off the front page within five hours or so of being published.
The article has gotten a lot of comments here on TL once I reposted it, but that doesn't help the initial humiliation I felt when it came to posting it on Fomos. The same can be said for the conclusion of the Violet Introduction project - where are you FanCafe members?
It's hard not to feel a little daunted by this prospect of little to no feedback when I have two huge projects lined up (100 Messages and JD Card.) I might still enjoy this work, but despite Susie's advice I'm the kind of person who thrives on feeling as though she is contributing something that matters.
I'm incapable of looking at my own work and saying it's good most of the time. (That feels kind of arrogant to me.) Konadora and Smix spoke of something similar regarding people not commenting on finished translations. I understand how they felt at the time.
My work remains unpaid and my equipment costs *a lot* of money. I'd estimate 3/4 of my monthly salary goes on eSports related items (lenses, project supplies and transport to matches.) However, without comments I don't have the motivation to give up my evenings and weekends to do the work. I'm attempting to remember all the projects that have received lots of feedback, but it's difficult to find inspiration lately.
In response to my own problems with motivation I wanted to try and understand what kinds of projects TL members will care about. I am limited by not being able to translate without help, but I can do most other things.
I have to keep reminding myself I'm writing/working for a demographic that is totally different to many of the fans here in Seoul. I'm not sure exactly what Teen-20something and beyond men enjoy when it comes to connecting them with the Korean scene.
So any ideas for future projects and a way to get out of my YellOw phase would be gratefully received. I'm not expecting a million comments for every single photo I post, but having to urge my friends to comment and bumping the thread myself to even get past 20 comments on something stuff is kind of depressing.
I have to make a choice in January whether to stay in Korea or to go home. It's very heavily dependant upon Teamliquid and if I still feel as if I'm doing something worthwhile for everyone.
Susie told me not to try to please everyone, but when it comes to eSports photography and other journalism I can't really help at least trying.
I'm taking a week off over Chuseok from doing live events to think long and hard about how to motivate myself for the new season and my own expectations of my work/the response to it.
I want to keep working hard for everyone and to move past these issues I have with confidence and worrying about a lack of comment feedback.
