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Ok so this might become a lengty post, or a really short one.
This story starts out about 5 years ago when I started highschool. I graduated from the school before that with, translated to US grades, straight A's.
Once I got into highschool I started slacking off after the first few tests, that I nailed, and the first year went ok. Not the highest grades in the subjects, but good enough.
The second year got harder since I basically had forgotten how to study. My grades started falling, and at the same time my father broke off contact with me. I went into a depression that I'm still fighting not to fall back into. For the next 1½ years I basically just slept. I went to school then and then, my teachers tried to push me but I just didn't have it in me, at that time, to pull myself up and go to school.
No one around me really took notice of how down I was. I have always been a terrific actor when it comes to how I'm feeling. My mother, who has always been supportive but we don't get along all that well, just thought I was lazy.
Anyway, after I "graduated" from school, I had such poor grades I didn't really graduate, I was still down and all my friends leaving for diffrent schools didn't help. For two years I laid on the couch at my moms place and didn't do anything but watch porn and play nukezone. I got a job, but the job was so poor I got fired after the longest year in my life.
During that period I also lived above my assets and got into quite a bit of debt (about $5000). Instead of dealing with it I just looked the other way. Again I didn't have the strenght. After I got fired from that job it was kind of a alarmclock for me. I signed into a hospital to deal with my depression and once I got out I quickly found another job and was a model employee. I had to quit that job this december because of the economy being the way it is.
By the time I had to quit I had managed to pay off about half of my debt. Since I was unemployed and had no real education I had to move back home with my mother, which was a tremendeous blow to my ego and self-esteem. But it was the best thing I could do. I either had to live of social service, which I have promised myself to never do unless I really didn't have another option, or start studying and move back home.
So I moved back home and met with a student advisor and he told me "If you take these classes and pass, then you can go onto uni after the summer". So I did, while only getting about 800 bucks a month from the state because I was studying, 500 of those went towards paying off my debts and 100 went to rent to my mother. It wasn't fun at all, but I put myself into this situation and my plan was to get out of it before the end of the summer.
So here I am in July, all my debts are gone (YAY!) and that makes life so much easier. I've got a summerjob with a high possibility of employment after the summer (yay). So what's the problem?
The problem is I don't want this job after the summer. I want to go study on towards becoming something I want to be. But as it turned out this weekend the grades I have improved over the last 6 months wasn't enough. The student advisor didn't know what he was talking about. I would've had to read 2 more classes, which I could've handled, to get into uni.
So now here I am, at a work I do well but don't really like watching my future just drift away. I can't stay at my moms house, I can't get my own place because I have been in debt. I have no idea what to do and I'm confused.
FML
 
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don't FYL, that's the last thing you want to do. as they say, it's very odd, you get fucked by the life, but you don't get the supposed pleasure from that, so don't let that happen.
so my advise would be: cheer up, learn while you work for the Uni for the next year, and while at it, do your work at the utmost level you can, don't ever procrasrtinate a day in your work. and you will rise - in many different ways
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konadora
Singapore66163 Posts
I have to say, you did really well overcoming your life's obstacles. From what I read, you are very determined to change your life for the better.
I suggest not rushing for things, take on one thing at a time. I'm not really that far ahead into life, so my advice is quite limited, but try to keep optimistic. Remember, you were in a worse situation before and you've conquered that, so why can't you conquer this? It just takes some time, maybe longer than you think, but time is definitely needed.
Hope everything works out well. Good luck!
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Props for getting yourself out of that situation and moving forward, it's admirable. As for your future my advice would be to take that job you don't want, just suck it up and do it at the same time you study those classes you needed before Komvux is removed. You say you don't want it but reading about your past I think you have it in you to just power through that shit and set yourself up for university studies where your work experience will be in your favor in many ways.
Good luck!
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dude you're well on your way. takes a strong will to put yourself in that much debt, fuck yourself that way, and completely come back from it head still high. good work.
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but yeah, also what konadora said. you've got you're entire life to get it right. no rush, as long as you can keep happy with what you're doing now, you've got the time to go where you want to.
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first of all thanks for the encouraging words guys
and I do know that I have a long life ahead of me and I won't have any problems at all staying at that job since if I can't fix this like ASAP. the only problem is that I won't be able to get my own place or anything like that in the fall, since I still have marks in the register from my debt-problem, and me and my mother both agree that it can't really stay like this.
so right now I'm emailing and calling everyone I can to see how I can solve this problem.
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do what you will.
that is the only law.
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First, just remember that you're 23 and still young. There are people who are 40 who go back to school to make a career change - you're not letting your future drift away. Second, look at the positives; you're out of debt, you're that much closer to getting into university and you've matured a lot. Take these experiences you've had and apply it to when you get into university. You know how tough life can be without an education, so when you actually get the chance to get one, you'll be that much hungrier. What if you went into university right away without understanding how tough life can be? You may have thrown away your grades then and that would be worse. I think at least now you have enough maturity to really do well, and it may be a blessing rather than a curse.
As for living situations right now, can't you find a place and have your mom co-sign a lease or something for you? Then just take those extra courses and work the rest of the year, while brushing up on the subjects you want to study? I think also getting a gym membership or some other recreational activity could help too, and you could meet different people as well.
Hope things get better for you! You're already out of the hole though!!
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Dude, for achieving what you have, you deserve way more props than we could give you.
gl hf 
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On July 13 2009 21:22 Julmust wrote:
I either had to live of social service
so you can live off the state in sweden? , how does this work? can you just show up and be like: dont wanna work lol gimme money
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On July 14 2009 03:55 LuckyOne wrote:so you can live off the state in sweden? , how does this work? can you just show up and be like: dont wanna work lol gimme money
nah you go "I can't get a job and the rent is due soon *baaaw*" and THEN you get enough money to get by each month. you're not gonna get rich or fat, but you get money without working and you need to show that you're putting effort against trying to get a job.
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I don't see the big problem here though, it's more like My life is Average.
You have paid off your debts and have a summer job, but you don't have the grades to apply to school. Well work one more year and get your grades up? I've been through worse shit, I assure you =)
And yeah Sweden are a bit too generous with handouts to lazy people. At least that's my experience
Btw good call not living on welfare. I think it breaks a person down insanely fast to not have a work an get stigmatized like that
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EPT
