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EDIT: This turned out longer than I thought it would. A LOT longer.
To start off, I come from an extremely academically rigorous school. Going to the #1/2 public high school in California means that competition is tough and academics means a LOT to everyone. I've always grown up thinking that I was smart, could achieve a lot, and would do just that. All the influences from peers, the academic environment, and parents only served to carve this into my nature. As a result, failure is something that I can't take easily.
I've always thought - no, believed - that I wouldn't settle for anything less than the best of the best, nor would I have to. My sisters went to UCSD and UCLA. I would do one better and go to UC Berkeley. Every time I heard of people going to UCD, UCI, UCM, etc I secretly felt I was their superior. After all, to me it was a shame that one couldn't get into a better UC than those.
Now, at this point, you might think I'm some humongous douche with an ego to match but really, I'm not like that. I don't know how to explain it. I hate it when those who are "superior" rub it in the faces of those who never taste anything other than failure. With such a competitive nature at my school it's really not too uncommon to see those who get 100s on their tests or quizzes to run around and ask others what they got, only to rub it in their face. Perhaps some are just curious, but I always hated those who did it just to brag.
But at the same time I always compared myself to others. Eventually I put some into those who I am better than, those who are equal, and those who are better. Such was the way I viewed people. I realized that this severely blocked my view of people who I viewed as inferior but I couldn't help it. I could keep doing this because I never had to join them. I was their better.
Boy was I wrong, hahahaha.
Just last week I checked my UC apps in my digital photo class and discovered I had been accepted to UCD and UCI. I wasn't particularly elated as I felt it was expected but my friend, sitting next to me, asked me about it and the girl nearby congratulated me. I shrugged it off and said "Eh... it's not like I'm going to go there anyway". My friend retorted "what?! don't say that Eli". I'm still not sure why he said that but we laughed it off. At that time I thought about what it would be like if I did have to go to UCI or UCD, only to forget about it.
This Saturday I came home from a sobering Track invitational which none of my friend or I were particularly happy about. I googled "UCSD admissions" and tried to register my account. I didn't expect UCSD to come out but there it was, my rejection letter. I couldn't believe it. I just sat there and read it again to make sure. Then I decided to hide the truth from my mom. No, not because of shame. I wasn't ashamed but afraid that my mom would worry over it.So I pretended that I hadn't gotten a reply. I had planned to wait til today. Today, I would get an acceptance from UCLA and all would be fine. My mom wouldn't have to worry about it and my rejection would be my little burden to carry.
I frantically checked the UCLA site in the morning, in digital photo, before track practice, and after practice. And then my friend IMed me with a link. I entered my information and read the letter. There it is again. The rejection letter. I had to read it over again to make sure. Sure enough I wouldn't be going to UCLA. I let it soak in a bit and I looked out the window. Just some minutes ago I was out there, carefree at practice. Here I am, rejected from UCSD and UCLA.
I'm not going to lie. I cried. Everything in the past week just crumbled around me and I couldn't take it anymore. Several friends asked me about UCLA, some got in and some also got rejected. My friends comforted me but I knew I had no choices other than UCD and UCI now. UC Berkeley was a longshot. If I couldn't get into UCSD or UCLA with Bio E., no way was I getting into Cal with it.
I think this convo of me with my friend sums it up:
(8:27:15 PM): jeez to be honest
(8:27:22 PM): i think the worst part of me having to go to davis/irvine
(8:27:26 PM): is having to swallow my pride
(8:27:37 PM): i don't know how i'm gonna do it but i have to
I feel lowly to have to go to these school. But I think it's a good thing for me. I need to humble myself. I am no better.
 
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K, granted everyone has their own problems and everyone's own problems seem bigger than other people's problems...but wow man.
' I feel lowly to have to go to these school. But I think it's a good thing for me. I need to humble myself. I am no better.'
Are you fucking serious? What a joke...how can you honestly say that you aren't one of those people with a superiority complex or someone who gets off secretly feeling ' awesome ' on the inside whenever you do better on a test/grade.
You feel lowly? This is your much needed reality check. If you are so confident in your abilities then don't let something like college acceptance be the marker for your life. For all you know they were full or something else fucked up. Someone I know from my graduating class got into Princeton but got rejected from UGA.
Point is, there's no need to fret over shit like this. If you work hard, chances are high you'll get to where you want to in life. Just don't be a fucking jackass on the way there like you have been until this point.
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Dude, you must realize that UCD and UCI are perfectly fine schools. If you put your heart and energy in it, you'll still get a great college experience and education at those places.
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Sucks man, while the admission process for UC's are systematic (more than privates), it is still pretty random from what I heard. Don't lose hope for UCB. Also I'm sure you'll do fine in the colleges you got accepted to too.
P.S - You didn't apply to any privates?
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On March 19 2009 16:06 Ack1027 wrote:Point is, there's no need to fret over shit like this. If you work hard, chances are high you'll get to where you want to in life. Just don't be a fucking jackass on the way there like you have been until this point.
Jackass? Wtf? How in the world have I been a jackass up until this point? I don't patronize others like it may seem I do.
It's not so much confidence in myself as it is reaching the expectations of everyone around me. You don't have to take my word for it but I don't feel superior just because I do better on a test than someone. My initial reaction is "that sucks, I sympathize with you". I can't help but feel "less happy", even if I did well.
On March 19 2009 16:08 SiZ.FaNtAsY wrote:
Sucks man, while the admission process for UC's are systematic (more than privates), it is still pretty random from what I heard. Don't lose hope for UCB. Also I'm sure you'll do fine in the colleges you got accepted to too.
P.S - You didn't apply to any privates?
Only UCs. I knew well enough that privates were likely out of reach for me. Also with my father getting laid off and a sister in college there was no way I could afford any. :\
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Again, don't lose hope on Cal, they have the most diverse admissions process than the rest of the UCs. and like the others have stated, UCI and UCD are also great schools.
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United States10774 Posts
hey man keep your head up, UCD and UCI will be perfectly fine as long as you continue to push yourself and achieve high marks. i am not gonna lie and say that i have never felt that "superiority" that you were talking about. i wouldn't be happy to go to a state school that all my friends who received average grades in non-challenging classes will be attending. it's not like i share those thoughts with any of them, but i just can't seem to help it. then again, like everybody says, it's about how you thrive at the college you attend. lastly, don't lose hope for uc berkeley as college acceptance can be really random sometimes. best of luck.
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No, you're right. The way you've viewed other people, especially in an academic light up until this point has been completely right.
I mean really think about why you made this blog. Sympathy perhaps? Discussion? Advice? I'm sure you'll get all of that. I'm just saying that if YOU say stuff like:
' Such was the way I viewed people. I realized that this severely blocked my view of people who I viewed as inferior but I couldn't help it. I could keep doing this because I never had to join them. I was their better. '
How is that not being a jackass? I mean, not to make it sound like your problems aren't important [ because obviously they are important to you ] but I'm pretty sure the majority of people reading:
' I'm not going to lie. I cried. Everything in the past week just crumbled around me and I couldn't take it anymore. '
in the context of college application acceptance, when you got accepted to perfectly good schools are gonna tell you to man up. It's not worth crying about. If you didn't get into college at all, that would be worth crying about....or I don't know maybe you're too ' above ' that as well. Please consider I'm just trying to point things out as a third party.
Edit: My point about you acting like a jackass is separate from you actually physically doing anything such as going up to someone and asking their test grade knowing that you did better. Even if you feel the same way on the inside as the people who actually do it, you're just as much of a jackass. Stop thinking in those terms, it won't get you anywhere. There will almost always be someone who knows more or performs better than you its better to realize how you acted before and ' swallow your pride and act humbly ' as you suggested yourself.
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top #1 or 2 pub hs in cali is like auto-berkeley/ucla lol
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Realize that due to the budget crisis the amount of people admitted to the UC system has gone down by a significant amount. I probably would not have been admitted to UCSD had I applied this year.
What high school do you go to anyway? Where are a lot of good schools in cali, specifically the asian ones
Edit: ah ok
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On March 19 2009 16:14 Ack1027 wrote:
No, you're right. The way you've viewed other people, especially in an academic light up until this point has been completely right.
I mean really think about why you made this blog. Sympathy perhaps? Discussion? Advice? I'm sure you'll get all of that. I'm just saying that if YOU say stuff like:
' Such was the way I viewed people. I realized that this severely blocked my view of people who I viewed as inferior but I couldn't help it. I could keep doing this because I never had to join them. I was their better. '
How is that not being a jackass? I mean, not to make it sound like your problems aren't important [ because obviously they are important to you ] but I'm pretty sure the majority of people reading:
' I'm not going to lie. I cried. Everything in the past week just crumbled around me and I couldn't take it anymore. '
in the context of college application acceptance, when you got accepted to perfectly good school is gonna tell you man up. It's not worth crying about. If you didn't get into college at all, that would be worth crying about....or I don't know maybe you're too ' above ' that as well. Please consider I'm just trying to point things out as a third party.
I'm not saying my view on others is right but I never discriminate because of my "superiority" over others. I really don't know how to explain it but it's not as expressed or as severe as you seem to take it to be.
To be honest, I just wanted to put it out. While writing it i just kept ranting on and on without any particular aim.
It's hard to understand unless you've been in my environment your entire life. Now I don't know your life but for me and everyone around me, education is absolutely huge. I realize now that my standards are set high because around my friends UCI and UCD ARE considered lower-tier schools. Lately I've been talking a lot about college with friends and we all agree that it's exaggerated too much. You can get just a good an education at those schools as any other UC. Please don't think that I'm one of those snotty nerds who have absolutely no life outside of education (I can see how one would assume that from the OP). You have to admit that when something happens, the initial reaction is always strongest and will always seem blown out of proportion by viewers. Not to say that I didn't make it a bigger deal than it is.
All-in-all, what you said is exactly what I'm trying to say I've finally figured out. I needed a reality check and I got it.
On March 19 2009 16:23 Fontong wrote:
Realize that due to the budget crisis the amount of people admitted to the UC system has gone down by a significant amount. I probably would not have been admitted to UCSD had I applied this year.
What high school do you go to anyway? Where are a lot of good schools in cali, specifically the asian ones
I go to Mission San Jose HS in the Bay Area. Some people here on TL also go there.
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Ah yeah, I was thinking Monta Vista/Gunn but that's pretty close too.
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This was a horrible year to apply to the UC system. Schools had to cut back on acceptance because of budget shortages and there were 3x more applicants easy.
Application numbers for UCD are up from 12-13kish to 42k, 4600 of whom where accepted. UCSB has 44k applicants and 4100 were accepted. SDSU had like 60k applicants, 6k were accepted. I forget UCSD's numbers.
If you wanted to get into the UCs this year you had to beat out 9 of 10 students.
Edit: LOOOOOOOOOOOL Mission San Jose
I've been in the wrestling tournament that Mission holds every year. The school is asian. I looked at the cross country team pictures one year and it had like 4 white kids on a team of like 41 asians.
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you place too much of your self esteem on which colleges you can get into
if you backed a step up, you'd realize that UCI and UCD are fucking good, and the only thing really different in quality of education is in specific programs
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On March 19 2009 16:27 SingletonWilliam wrote:
This was a horrible year to apply to the UC system. Schools had to cut back on acceptance because of budget shortages and there were 3x more applicants easy.
Application numbers for UCD are up from 12-13kish to 42k, 4600 of whom where accepted. UCSB has 44k applicants and 4100 were accepted. SDSU had like 60k applicants, 6k were accepted. I forget UCSD's numbers.
If you wanted to get into the UCs this year you had to beat out 9 of 10 students.
that definitely doesn't sound right
those sound like recycled matriculation numbers from last year, not admittance/acceptance numbers
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On March 19 2009 16:28 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On March 19 2009 16:27 SingletonWilliam wrote:
This was a horrible year to apply to the UC system. Schools had to cut back on acceptance because of budget shortages and there were 3x more applicants easy.
Application numbers for UCD are up from 12-13kish to 42k, 4600 of whom where accepted. UCSB has 44k applicants and 4100 were accepted. SDSU had like 60k applicants, 6k were accepted. I forget UCSD's numbers.
If you wanted to get into the UCs this year you had to beat out 9 of 10 students.
that definitely doesn't sound right those sound like recycled matriculation numbers from last year, not admission numbers
I'm just going to post my UCD rejection letter. Decide for yourselves.
Dear William,
After careful review of your application, we regret that we are unable to offer you admission to UC Davis for fall quarter 2009. You were part of an exceptionally talented group of over 42,000 applicants from which UC Davis could enroll a freshman class of 4,600.
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On March 19 2009 16:31 SingletonWilliam wrote:Show nested quote +On March 19 2009 16:28 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On March 19 2009 16:27 SingletonWilliam wrote:
This was a horrible year to apply to the UC system. Schools had to cut back on acceptance because of budget shortages and there were 3x more applicants easy.
Application numbers for UCD are up from 12-13kish to 42k, 4600 of whom where accepted. UCSB has 44k applicants and 4100 were accepted. SDSU had like 60k applicants, 6k were accepted. I forget UCSD's numbers.
If you wanted to get into the UCs this year you had to beat out 9 of 10 students.
that definitely doesn't sound right those sound like recycled matriculation numbers from last year, not admission numbers I'm just going to post my UCD rejection letter. Decide for yourselves. Dear William, After careful review of your application, we regret that we are unable to offer you admission to UC Davis for fall quarter 2009. You were part of an exceptionally talented group of over 42,000 applicants from which UC Davis could enroll a freshman class of 4,600.
yeah that's definitely matriculation numbers
i.e. http://admissions.ucla.edu/prospect/Adm_fr/Frosh_Prof08.htm
look at admits # vs enrolled #
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Omg lol...so what u didnt get into those schools....u cried? man people have way wose problems than this...Are your diamond sandles too tight? is your wallet to small for ur 100's? come on dude.
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Looks like you need to learn how to write proper letters to attach to your admissions application.
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On March 19 2009 16:47 brad3104 wrote:
Omg lol...so what u didnt get into those schools....u cried? man people have way wose problems than this...Are your diamond sandles too tight? is your wallet to small for ur 100's? come on dude.
I know, I'm a hypocrite for thinking the exact same thing to other people who complain about seemingly trivial things. But you have to admit that sometimes there are things that you care about so much that other people just don't understand at times. Not to mention, just because the world suffers doesn't mean I don't.
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EPT
