EPTWhen I was 10 years old, there was a girl that I loved so much. Then we graduated from Elementary school and I lost contact with her completely. The thing is, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She has appeared in at least 15 of my dreams (I know...). During all these years (I'm 22 now) I've met many girls, but none could make me feel the way she used to. My face would turn red when I sat next to her, my heart beat faster, my mouth couldn't say a single thing. If it wasn't love, then it was some kind of severe infatuation.
Well a few minutes ago I found her Facebook. Apparently she is married now. She seems to be having a great life, being a sales executive at a tourism company. Funny thing is, my dream is to become a tour guide, but I'm still quite far from reaching it...
For some reason I'm not even sad. I made some half-assed efforts to find her throughout all these years (like going to her father's concerts and being too afraid to ask him about her). But then again how can I find someone if the only info I have is her famous father. Seeing her like this reminds me (again) about my shitty life. I'm still stuck in college (trying to raise my GPA to 2.5), work random tutoring jobs that are barely enough to buy gas and food, have some friends but no close one. She is just way out of my league (not that this matters, if she wasn't I might actually go for one last try).
I'm still not feeling anything. I want to be sad, but I can't. Maybe because I didn't lose anything. Maybe it's been too long that she no longer means anything to me. Maybe I'm just cold-hearted. But I'm not sad. Maybe a tiny little bit, but that's it.
Time to move on I guess.
I think I should just continue with my dream of becoming a tour guide (maybe I'll even become her co-worker).
One moment of silence for a silly love story that just died.
P.S. Just stumbled upon some "sexy" pics of her and her husband. I just laughed. So sad it's funny I guess.
Last edit: 2014-09-19 21:23:20
Well a few minutes ago I found her Facebook. Apparently she is married now. She seems to be having a great life, being a sales executive at a tourism company. Funny thing is, my dream is to become a tour guide, but I'm still quite far from reaching it...
For some reason I'm not even sad. I made some half-assed efforts to find her throughout all these years (like going to her father's concerts and being too afraid to ask him about her). But then again how can I find someone if the only info I have is her famous father. Seeing her like this reminds me (again) about my shitty life. I'm still stuck in college (trying to raise my GPA to 2.5), work random tutoring jobs that are barely enough to buy gas and food, have some friends but no close one. She is just way out of my league (not that this matters, if she wasn't I might actually go for one last try).
I'm still not feeling anything. I want to be sad, but I can't. Maybe because I didn't lose anything. Maybe it's been too long that she no longer means anything to me. Maybe I'm just cold-hearted. But I'm not sad. Maybe a tiny little bit, but that's it.
Time to move on I guess.
I think I should just continue with my dream of becoming a tour guide (maybe I'll even become her co-worker).
One moment of silence for a silly love story that just died.
P.S. Just stumbled upon some "sexy" pics of her and her husband. I just laughed. So sad it's funny I guess.
Last edit: 2014-09-19 21:23:20
It's been three years, and a lot of things have happened:
- I finally found her Facebook after ~10 years, but she doesn't allow followers nor accept friend requests from strangers. I considered shooting her a message, but she's living in another country now and I don't think text messages can satisfy my desire to see her (not in a romantic way, just want to catch up as old friends and see if my feelings are still the same). Also she seems to be married/has a long-time boyfriend. We're both 26 now though, so I don't think I can take it slow anymore. Additionally, I find her not as pretty as 15 years ago (that sounds kinda creepy eh), and her looks was a major reason for my fascination with her. But photos are sometimes different from real life, so.
- About my life now:
Today is actually my birthday. I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 10 or something, that's 15 lonely birthdays in a row. The only difference this time is that I now have a job (one month ago), I kinda like it though the pay is barely acceptable.
What's bad is that I didn't make any close friend or tried to get a girlfriend the entire college time. Now I work at home so co-workers are out of the question. I don't think I'm autistic, but I sure am one hell of a introvert. I mean I didn't talk to anyone the whole four years of middle school! That's a record! Both my parents are like this so I guess that's a major reason.
I'm not ugly or stupid or anything, I'm just really passive when it comes to socializing.
Forget the girl or you will never move forward! Life's too short! 
