EPTIt's not my day.
I'm not warmed up yet.
He got lucky.
This map is stupid.
This is my first game today.
It's lagging.
I did not want to win, just to have some fun.
I never play this strategy.
I didn't see him coming.
If I did *something*, I would have won.
etc...
I'm not warmed up yet.
He got lucky.
This map is stupid.
This is my first game today.
It's lagging.
I did not want to win, just to have some fun.
I never play this strategy.
I didn't see him coming.
If I did *something*, I would have won.
etc...
![[image loading]](http://functionalnerds.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/no-excuses.jpg)
People are used to make excuses almost all the time. Mostly people don't say something like
"I played bad, I made some mistakes".
Mostly they find the reasons for their loss never stating the true reason. People don't want to admit that they lost and the opponent played better, so, making excuses is also an attempt to devalue opponent's efforts.After all those crazy events in my life I started reading like a madman. My world outlook has changed and I am looking for a paradigm shift. I am looking for new knowledge, new answers, taking my time to understand what's going on with me. Every day we do a lot of stuff subconsciously, we even don't pay any attention to that, but I decided to change it, to view myself from different angle and to try to understand what's happening. I found out that I had made a lot of mistakes and used to make excuses for everything. It was just automatically, there were dialogues like:
- Why do you make excuses?
- No, I dont!
- No, I dont!
I even didn't realize that. And I started searching, what is making excuse, why do people do that etc.
In psychology and logic, rationalization (also known as making excuses) is a defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner in order to avoid any true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable – or even admirable and superior – by plausible means. Rationalization encourages irrational or unacceptable behavior, motives, or feelings and often involves ad hoc hypothesizing. This process ranges from fully conscious (e.g. to present an external defense against ridicule from others) to mostly subconscious (e.g. to create a block against internal feelings of guilt).
After reading some more psychological stuff, I found out a lot of interesting stuff. When people are late for something, they never admit that. They never say
"Sorry, I am late".
Mostly it's "Sorry, the bus was not on time", "I had too much work and went to bed late at night", "Someone needed my help" etc.
![[image loading]](http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/requiredreading.jpg)
The problem is: the lower person's self-concept, the more excuses he makes and the harder he tries. People with low self-concept want to be good people, want to be better, and they think that good people never make mistakes, never fuck up, so they're trying to find the reason in something else so that they look better in people's eyes. In fact, when you make an excuse, you blame yourself, because of that you're losing confidence, and it gets only worse. This is the position of victim.
Strong people are not victims, they admit their mistakes and they take the responsibilities for blunders. I don't say that I finished my transition to being absolutely strong and never making any excuses, of course not, but this is one of my goals, this is what I want to achieve, and I want you to think about it and maybe make some conclusions.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin
Of course, I am going to talk about my results and the events in my life as well. As you may know, I am looking for a teamfrom November, 1. You'll find out the reason really soon, I can't talk about it yet. I hope that I'll find an offer that fits me perfectly so that I can continue my progaming career with no fear!
Unfortunately, I still cant practice for a long time, I have to make time-outs each 3-4 hours, because with each game it's getting harder and harder to concentrate. That's why I dont practice that much at the moment, but of course I am getting bad to hardcore practice. I discovered that there is a gap between practice and outcome. I am trying to find out how big it is, and what does it depend on, but that's really hard, all I can say is that if you practice now, you'll get results later (week, month or maybe a year). So if you want to achieve something, the sooner you start, the sooner you get the result! I look forward to WCS 2014, I have really high hopes, so I plan to practice like a madman to get better by that time.
Last week I won ESET masters cup!
![[image loading]](http://puu.sh/4V0q3.jpg)
I didn't have any expectation for that cup, usually I do quite good at it, but I didn't feel anything like "THIS IS MY CUP, I'M GONNA WIN". I just tried to play my best and not to get nervous. When I reached semifinals I knew that I had won some money, so I was already awarded for my efforts, but then I saw my opponent - Goody.... Usually we play games that last more than an hour, it's very exhausting and boring because of the style he plays, but this time it was absolutely different! I won 2-0 with very fast games bases on some cheesing and outmultitasking, I was really happy to beat him so fast and in such a manner. Then I saw my opponent for the finals - Krr. I won the ESET masters cup against him in the previous season with the score of 3:2. AT THAT MOMENT I was confident.
I won last time, I'm gonna win this time again.
And I got raped two times in a row :D Making really stupid mistakes and executing builds poorly. Then I just relaxed and tried to play my best. The games very unorthodox, really strange base trades, run-by's, very agressive play from both sides, but it was fun. When the score was 2:2 I knew that I could do it and played WoL build designed for defending any 2 base all-ins - mass roach lings (fastest max-out). AND I WON! I was really happy! I have never made any comebacks before, but this time I was down 0:2 and made reverse kill! Also it proved that my WCS wins were not just a coincidence but I was really in a good shape! ![[image loading]](http://tinyorphans.com/towpblog/wp-content/uploads/win.gif)
And then today... The last days I feel that something inside of me has changed, I read about Quantum Mechanics, got my positive thinking back and started judging the situations very pragmatically. I made the first steps to Slavik 2.0 I was going to become and it makes me really proud, because I feel the difference, it's very small right now, but at least I started moving!
Today I started playing ZOTAC and Go4SC2, I was enjoying the process, had my music turned on very loud, was streaming and commenting, had some sick games, crazy comebacks. Unfortunately, I lost in last pregrid round of Zotac to Krr (really close game, respect to him for such a comeback), and then I got into the Ro8 of Go4SC2. I got techwin vs Trend who prefered to play ZOTAC, then I played vs pal - very good protoss player. The games were very hard but I managed to win 2:0, it was very close, we were passive, did not intend to engage, we kept moving our armies around and kept losing 5th-6th bases. At some moment I thought:
we both are so stupid, why can't me track the opponent's army movements without losing 5th base to stupid zealot/lings run-by?
That was really funny, but then I decided to engage and the decision was successful! 2-0 and I am in the finals!Honestly, when I saw that my opp is hOpe, I thought:
Oh, at least I earned 50 eu for reaching the finals! Not bad for today!
And then we started playing. First game I played hatchery first, taking some risks. I won the game because of outmicroing with lings and banes, he didn't pay attention to 2 banes and because of that I got a big advantage! Second game I opened pool first, because I knew that he could make an early pool (thx ladder!), so I had some advantage and then I went for a counter-attack against his greedy fast lair (sick luck! :D). Third game was going very bad for me, I felt that I was about to lose it, but then I turned on the multitask mode and it worked out! 3:0! OMG, I still can't believe. All the games before were very close, but today it was a 3:0! I am really happy to win the tournament, I feel much more confident and I feel that changes in my life and what I am doing about it are for the better! ![[image loading]](http://puu.sh/4V1J1.png)
REPPACK!
I want to thank all of you for reading my blog. I didn't expect my previous post to hit 11500+ views, that's sick! Also thank you for cheering for me, supporting me whether I win the cup or get raped on the ladder, watching my stream and posting your comments! This is very important to me and it helps a lot! I never regret being a progamer instead of a normal job. At the office noone is cheering for you, there is noone to share your success and your emotions with, this is just something else.
![[image loading]](http://www.jmco.com/media/Working-Together-Small.jpg)
Been dealing with a lot of sadness and making lots of excuses. You've given me a new goal to stop getting myself down. I really hope you join an amazing team and can keep pushing forward!!! GL
