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Today is the last day I will be home! And boy is it scary. I'm sitting here watching one of my favorite people in the world Draskyl stream, and hearing my mom cook upstairs with my grandma and sister and its bringing on some pretty heavy emotions. I don't really know what to write but I just felt like I should. Some background, I started streaming around the middle of senior year, a year and a half ago when DotA came out because I thought it would be neat. I had seen some streams that I really liked and I wanted to emulate that. I had a pretty harsh start as I started with 1 viewer at all times (SuperJoe) but it was my interaction with him that really helped me grow as a person. I didn't have a lot of friends in college and I was a pretty shy / anxious / nervous guy so having someone to talk to without actually being face to face made things easier. And so I decided I wanted to stream more and more as I gained a viewer or two here and there and made the same connections. For me streaming was always about being able to meet new people and make new friends as lame as that sounds. It was a controlled environment where I felt comfortable. After about 5-6 months I finally broke like a 100 viewers concurrently and started seriously considering doing it full time. I realize now how foolhardy and ambitious that sounded but everyone starts somewhere and I wanted a goal. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do after university so it at least seemed like some sorta direction to take. Shortly after I started receiving lots of viewers somehow and my stream did better then I could have ever imagined.
I made a team competitively at first with the guys from ROOT thinking that would be my first foray into competitive gaming. Things happened, aka we never practiced/played together (a large portion of it being my fault) and I was jaded with the whole process. Then I decided to make a team with my best friends, Mikey, EGM, Lust, and Inphinity. The entire process lost me a friend, made me closer with another and ultimately gave me a good understanding of what was necessary to commit to a competitive team. Dedication, hard work, commitment, and above all learning to swallow your pride. I've never really been able to do that, but this was honestly the first step in that process at least. Shortly after I made turtle masters with EGM, Niqua, Fake Hailo, and Smulgullig. We played in the Defense 3(?) did reasonable well and I had a blast. From that moment on I was hooked, I wanted to play competitively for so long but never got any offers or anything. I figured if I kept streaming maybe something would come along but it never did, and so I started realizing that maybe I wasn't cut out for it or I wasn't as good as I thought I was. Sometime in May, Kurtis (aui_2000) visited and when prompted he told me I should go for it so I waited for the opportunity to arise.
At TI3, I was going to the restroom and saw Febby from FXO and approached him and said hi. As a joke I said let me come to Korea, started walking away then he said I'll think about it. We sat down had a talk and eventually things progressed to the point of me actually on the verge of joining. Things happened / fell apart but it got me thinking more about Korea. I approached another team, they said yes, and that was that. I'm still not sure what I've gotten myself into, but I think of it more as a chance to play competitively, see my family, and above all else force myself to commit to something. I've always half assed everything so I figure by actually going to Korea I'd have to make it or break it. I always envied EE (pun intended) for what he was able to accomplish and even though this is on a much smaller scale, I want to give it a shot. I'm seen by a lot of people as this awful player / pubstar / worst person NA and I want to at least change that public perception. Korea isn't the best scene but its a start, and I don't want to burden my mom by having to take up space anymore.
I'm still not sure if this is the right decision, mainly I made it because it seemed like something to do. I felt stagnant, that I wasn't really going anywhere with DotA, and I was just being lazy. I'm scared shitless and I had my going away party last night, saw my best friends and then when everyone left I just cried for like 5 minutes because I won't be able to see them for a full year again. Its not easy being friends with someone like me as I speak loudly, I talk obnoxiously too much, and I'm way too boastful so for me to have friends like that show up just to see me off meant a lot to me. Dota's been the biggest part of my life for so long, its given me the only friends I've ever had, the confidence to talk to other people, and make risks like flying halfway across the world to do something I'd only ever dreamed of. Maybe I'm just being a pussy and I'm too scared to move on with my life / get a real career or go to law school like I had originally planned, but DotA just feels like its too big a part of my life for me to quit now. It might lead to me being flat broke with no options available, but for a game thats given me so much I've contributed so little. Maybe by going to Korea and having some success I can inspire someone else to take up what I have. I'm not saying just go and stream and you'll have a ton of viewers, but for someone like me that can barely talk without having anxiety (yeah it still happens, I've just gotten better at hiding it) I think anyone could do what I could have.
Anyways this blog didn't really have any sort of point whatsoever, I just wanted a medium to get out some loose thoughts and maybe give some people insight into my life. I'll try and update my blog once I get to Korea if anyones interested in the process / what I'm going through.
Shoutout to Coryn for being the best girlfriend possible and supporting me through my move. I wouldn't have the courage of strength to do it without you.
Shoutout to Purge for being the best kind of friend possible. Lunch dates / gay chicken will be sorely missed.
Shoutout to EGM for being the bestest friend a guy could have and inspiring me that if an idiot like you could win TI3 I can maybe win some money off koreans.
Shoutout to the BTS crew, Jarrett, David, David, and David. Without your generosity I couldn't have made it in the business. I remember thinking I would have helped with the TI3 qualifiers for a sandwich and I ended up making way more money then I should have. Thanks for taking care of me when I couldn't look out for myself haha
Thanks to everyone who's ever supported me in any way shape or form. I've got an ever growing list of people that send me kind messages, donate, purchase my coaching, send me nice tweets etc. It honestly lets me know that I'm on the right path.
#EosinBigDealMcFlurryBitchCheng
 
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All the best Blitz! #YOLO
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You gonna be playing EE soon in a tourney Crazy good luck!
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On a side note I'll be going to Canada for a month to vacation, then to Korea! But its more a farewell post to my family / friends here and its the first step.
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Good luck over in Korea, Blitz. You've been my favorite streamer for a long while now, so it's great to see you moving forward.
Really hope this works out for you, I'll be watching for those KR league appearances.
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Blitz, I'm really happy for you havin' this personal growth and pushing your boundaries! I've been a fan of yours since... mid 2012, I think, and I'm really grateful to you for inspiring me in and out of Dota! Chill hard in Canada so that you can kick ass in Korea <3
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hi blitz, it's corey. i respect your decision a lot. best of luck to you in korea!
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Don't worry, MrHoon visits Korea like once a year, so you won't have to wait a whole year to see him again 
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I'm going to be in Korea in a bit under a month. I'll be sure to buy you a Soju or ten. Best of luck with everything, though. It was a tough decision to make but exciting at the same time. Hopefully things all turn out well! Looking forward to seeing your Korean debut!
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On September 23 2013 11:46 LimitSEA wrote:
I'm going to be in Korea in a bit under a month. I'll be sure to buy you a Soju or ten. Best of luck with everything, though. It was a tough decision to make but exciting at the same time. Hopefully things all turn out well! Looking forward to seeing your Korean debut!
I'll take you up on that!
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I always believed in you since day 1, from the moment you fucking randomly met me and Kelly in a pub and carried my ass with your storm spirit.
I can't say I've been watching your stream since day 1, since Super Joe owns that title, but I've been there early and often, and sure I fuck up ravages and stole an aegis out of sheer and utter panic sometimes, but it's been nice for me to say that I've known you for a long time in Dota2, longer than most. I know you have the skill to be the best mid in Korea, I know that for a fact. If you can find the proper team around you, one that can fit your playstyle, abuse the draft to your advantage, the rest of the world will see that you can dominate Korea.
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On September 23 2013 11:55 Zlasher wrote:
I always believed in you since day 1, from the moment you fucking randomly met me and Kelly in a pub and carried my ass with your storm spirit.
I can't say I've been watching your stream since day 1, since Super Joe owns that title, but I've been there early and often, and sure I fuck up ravages and stole an aegis out of sheer and utter panic sometimes, but it's been nice for me to say that I've known you for a long time in Dota2, longer than most. I know you have the skill to be the best mid in Korea, I know that for a fact. If you can find the proper team around you, one that can fit your playstyle, abuse the draft to your advantage, the rest of the world will see that you can dominate Korea.
I know and your the best mother fucking supporter I could ask for Mike.
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For some reason this brought tears to my eyes.
Maybe it's because of how it's written. Maybe it's because I'd never have the guts to do 1/10th of what you did. Maybe it's because I know I'll never be able to get there.
Best of luck in Korea Blitz, I hope you do excellently well.
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On September 23 2013 11:39 Blitz wrote:
On a side note I'll be going to Canada for a month to vacation, then to Korea! But its more a farewell post to my family / friends here and its the first step.
Awesome. Where in Canada?
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Best of luck stormspirit!
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Hey Blitz
Watch this video. youtube.com/WTFnmsCnr6g
This video made me realize that I don't really want anything special in life and that I'm perfectly content with being average. I want to get millions of subscribers for my youtube channel and I want millions of views on my videos. I want the perfect dream girl. I want to experience everything good in life. But I'm not willing to do anything about it. I'm about as unmotivated as you can get.
Hopefully, this video will motivate you more than it motivated me. At the very least, I hope this video will help you realize what you really want in life as it has done for me.
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I'm really glad that I got into Dota 2, because it feels like one of the only things I genuinely care about. It's been fun watching your stream, and it's awesome that you have a great opportunity like this. Although I do want to see you as a professional player, I also wanna see some more sick Korean casting with EGM. Good luck, but too bad you're gonna need a new mcflurry bitch in Korea
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GL man, it will be an experience.
Jozsef
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EPT
