The other day I found a bunch of my old friends on facebook, those I had back in the middleschool days, when all we did was mess around and play pokemon on gameboy. It made me realize how I simply never talked to with my childhood, middleschool and high school friends anymore. I might get a 2 minute conversation out of them on facebook, but nothing more than that. And it's not like we were not that good friends. Girls included.
The current people that I hang out with are new to me, met em at the start of the year, those are probably the ones that I'm gonna hang out with for the next couple years, plus the people I'll meet when I get in college.
But it still bothers me that those people that I spent 6 years with have simply vanished. Has this happened to anyone as well?
I think I'll try inviting those old friends out or something, it will probably be too akward after all those years, but I really miss some of the girls
I think it really depends on your family. If you aren't living withing 4 hour drive of your childhood home/schools, if you went to an instate school, or if you weren't into sports teams as was the case for me (Wasn't really a redsox fan!). You'd needed something more than proximity to keep those friendships up. If you're really that concerned, just send friend requests to everyone that signed your highschool yearbook and spend a day reminiscing and raising one eyebrow when you see that slacker in spanish class currently living abroad, or whatnot. Then stalk them online finding their current address lol!
I'm still friends with a small number of people from school, college and university (university less so as there was a huge blow up socially towards the end, whoops!). After uni I moved back to my hometown so I rekindled a lot of old friendships, but I never really lost touch with a few close friends, mostly from school.
However I'll say that not losing touch isn't the same as talking a lot, I barely see or talk to some of my closest friends. One I maybe see once every 6-12 months these days but our friendship has been a long one and the need to maintain it really isn't there any more and our lives moved in different directions but if we're ever in the same area we'd make an effort to hook up for a drink or food and catch up.
I stopped talking to a lot of my old friends when I moved for university, but when I came back every once in a while for summer or whatever we would grab a drink and hang out. So really I'd say don't expect to maintain the same levels of friendship over time, its impossible, we only have so much time in the day and especially when relationships and careers are involved, people are busy as fuck. I wouldn't bother trying to talk to people online, some people that works with, I regularly spoke to a friend in a different country via fb chat but he was pretty much the only one.
Some friends will vanish, my best friend from college went AWOL and no one I know knows where he is or what he's doing any more, but for every story like that there are plenty which turned out nicer, even if its 10 years down the line and you decided to ask an old friend out for lunch or a coffee most people will still be around. Close friends will always remember but people change and their priorities shift. You'll be surprised about it being awkward though, maybe for half an hour but you'll reminisce, maybe have a few drinks and you'll depart feeling fulfilled for catching up with old friends.
I do sometimes miss school, hanging out with certain people all the time, but things change, all part of growing up
I'm trying damn hard to get away from all that nostalgia. I mean, you have a lot of important moments and a lot of moments that are hued by the popular culture when you're young.Oh this kid is a skater, oh this kid is a so and so.Other kids know its a triumph to get attention from the pretty girl, or a triumph to *be* the pretty girl, but really we just liked spending time with other people. Pokemon would have meant much less if there weren't others to show you their cards or for you to show your cards to.
I see people from highschool now but i like how you have distance. I feel like I may have stifled my growth by getting into the thought pattern that's like "ok these are my friends, i have friends now, i'm secure" because yeah they were my friends but if i hadn't had them who knows what exciting experiences i may have sought out??
So yeah, i'd say call the girls up but remember that things probably weren't as perfect in the light of what you know now as they were back then.
As I grew up I found I just had less and less in common with high school friends. Gradually we just stopped talking at all and now it's been years except for a couple of fb conversations. Close uni friends are the real keepers.
I currently live less than a 2 hour's drive from my hometown, but because all my friends and I all entered university we all got scattered across the country. We also did not have any real common interests (they are more into fishing and playing rugby) so I rarely see them. In some cases, such as during holidays, most of us are in town and then we'll have like one get-together with all our previous classmates to catch up on recent events.
Otherwise, I play Dota 2 every day with the only old friend that I still keep in contact with. Like Scarecrow said here in the thread, the friends you get close with at uni are the ones you'll be friends with for a long time.
No. I stayed friends with one of my middle school friends in high school. I stayed friends with three of my high school friends in college (the middle school guy was not one of them). Finishing up grad school now, I married one of those three, am still friends with another, and haven't talked to the third in several years. I stayed friends with zero of my college friends.
None of that bothers me. You move to a new situation and new place in life, you make new friends and start a new life. That's how life works. I don't really have anything in common with my old friends. Or maybe I do, but I don't know anything about their lives, and they don't know anything about mine, so there's not really any point in going out of my way to track them down.
My close friends are all from high-school - in University I made some acquaintances but not any close friends. In high school you'll see your friends all the time, generally you'll have at least half the day in the same class and you're all at school at the same time. In University you will have a lot of different classes, and even if they're the same they might be different days or times - so I think it's natural not to be as close with them.
I recently had a reunion with a lot of my friends from highschool. (For a time-perspective, I'm a senior in college now, so I'm only 4 years removed from knowing some of them) With some of the people there, it was like nothing had changed and we picked up right where we left off. But with others, it was like I barely knew them anymore. Funnily enough, those that I would have considered my better friends in highschool were the ones I barely talked to all night. But it was still a good time, so I'm glad we did it.
EPT
