• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 11:13
CET 17:13
KST 01:13
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book15Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info8herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational14
Community News
ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/0222LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16)31Weekly Cups (Feb 2-8): Classic, Solar, MaxPax win2Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker10PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar)14
StarCraft 2
General
How do you think the 5.0.15 balance patch (Oct 2025) for StarCraft II has affected the game? Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker Terran Scanner Sweep Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book Weekly Cups (Jan 12-18): herO, MaxPax, Solar win
Tourneys
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament RSL Season 4 announced for March-April PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar) RSL Revival: Season 4 Korea Qualifier (Feb 14)
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ? [A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 512 Overclocked Mutation # 511 Temple of Rebirth Mutation # 510 Safety Violation
Brood War
General
Ladder maps - how we can make blizz update them? Which units you wish saw more use in the game? ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/02 StarCraft player reflex TE scores [ASL21] Potential Map Candidates
Tourneys
Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 1 [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Small VOD Thread 2.0 KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Strategy
Fighting Spirit mining rates Zealot bombing is no longer popular? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Current Meta
Other Games
General Games
ZeroSpace Megathread Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread Diablo 2 thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Ask and answer stupid questions here! Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread The Games Industry And ATVI
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
The Search For Meaning in Vi…
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2114 users

Rap Career

Blogs > Alborz
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Alborz
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
Canada1551 Posts
May 20 2013 09:00 GMT
#1
I STARTED A RAP CAREER

Mt. Alborz Rap Studios

What are your thoughts? Would you buy my music? How can I improve?



*
armada[sb]
Profile Joined August 2011
United States432 Posts
May 20 2013 09:03 GMT
#2
I'm sorry, but the song "flow" is quite ironic. You really don't have much flow. You are very monotone and you don't have a smooth delivery. You sound like you're reading off of a sheet, not coming from the heart. It's music, not reading over a beat.
#Hitpoint @ GameSurge (IDLE=BAN)
Alborz
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
Canada1551 Posts
May 20 2013 09:09 GMT
#3
Hey I REALLY REALLY appreciate your feedback, but there is no song called Flow, its the album name. The only song on there where I read off a sheet is Self-Love which I think you were listening to.

I have been doubting whether I should freestyle my albums or write. Almost all my other albums are all freestyle, especially Cops and I on the album The Body Never Lies. I like free styling more. Please let me know how you feel about the other songs?
Alborz
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
Canada1551 Posts
May 20 2013 09:28 GMT
#4
I recommend listening to this to see my freestyle style : http://mtalborz.bandcamp.com/track/cops-and-i http://mtalborz.bandcamp.com/track/cops-and-i
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
May 20 2013 09:50 GMT
#5
I am planning to release a diss record mixtape to get at you shortly. I am doing this because I feel like I have been disrespected, and I plan to take it to the streets, then the studio to drop ether on you. I advise you to mobilize your best rhymes for a rap war.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Swede
Profile Joined June 2010
New Zealand853 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 10:11:38
May 20 2013 09:51 GMT
#6
Besides lyrics and having a decent rapping voice, rapping is basically all about having a good sense of rhythm. If you want to get better at rapping then you really need to work on your rhythm. You should be approaching it in the same way any other instrument does. That is, your 8th notes sound like 8th notes, triplets like triplets etc etc. At the moment you're blurring the lines a little and it really hurts the overall feel. Things like rushing to catch up to the beat when you get out a little are quite obvious although it may not feel that way.

A couple of other things: get into it more. You don't sound like you're getting anything out of rapping. You don't need to sound happy like this is your favourite thing in the world (in fact that's probably somewhat contrary to the vibe of rap in general), but you need something... anger, sadness, conviction. At the very least it needs to sound confident. I know a lot of musicians who can do sick stuff but because they can't do it confidently it sounds like a wet towel.

Last thing, there needs to be some clear distinction between sections of a song. You might have a particular rhythm or rhyming theme for the chorus for example, or maybe you sing it instead. Either way, music is all about being interesting, and if you just rap in the same way the whole time it won't be interesting.

Are you improvising the rhythm or do you have at least a general idea of how it's gonna go?

Also, do you have any experience playing an instrument of any kind?
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
May 20 2013 10:02 GMT
#7
Not bad lyrics and tunes but the delivery is 1/10.
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
May 20 2013 10:25 GMT
#8
You want an honest review? Its terrible, the lyrics are boring, you often don't rhyme, the meter is inconsistant, you're repetitive, and most of all you can't seem to stay on rythm. Also the vocals are mixed poorly and are too loud most of the time.

Im sorry, you are really bad at rap.
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
May 20 2013 10:51 GMT
#9
You make me yawn.
I stayed up till dawn.
I just ate a fawn.
This is chess, you a pawn.
Mow my lawn.
You wanna step, you gonna be gone.
I smacked Vince Vaughn.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
dRaW
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada5744 Posts
May 20 2013 10:54 GMT
#10
On May 20 2013 19:51 ninazerg wrote:
You make me yawn.
I stayed up till dawn.
I just ate a fawn.
This is chess, you a pawn.
Mow my lawn.
You wanna step, you gonna be gone.
I smacked Vince Vaughn.



HIP HOP
DONT DROP
THE SOAP
YOU OAF
TIC TAC TOE
DONT YOU KNOW
YOU A HOE
I don't need luck, luck is for noobs, good luck to you though
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
May 20 2013 11:01 GMT
#11
On May 20 2013 19:54 dRaW wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 20 2013 19:51 ninazerg wrote:
You make me yawn.
I stayed up till dawn.
I just ate a fawn.
This is chess, you a pawn.
Mow my lawn.
You wanna step, you gonna be gone.
I smacked Vince Vaughn.



HIP HOP
DONT DROP
THE SOAP
YOU OAF
TIC TAC TOE
DONT YOU KNOW
YOU A HOE


YO I LIVE IN PAREE, CITY L'AMOUR
SO GET READY FOR WAR AT YOUR DOOR
I AM FRENCH LIKE ALANIS MORRISETTE
I LIKE COFFEE AND EAT A BAGETTE
PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
YO COME TO MARSEILLES
WE SMOKE CIGARETTE CUZ YOU GAY
JE VAIS BIEN, ET VOUS?
YOU BABY SCREAM WAH WAH WAH, TAIS-TOI.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Zealos
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United Kingdom3576 Posts
May 20 2013 11:43 GMT
#12
I'm gonna be a little nicer.
It feels like its close to being "there"

Something is definetly missing though, I think it would probably be the rhythm.
The first song for example, if written would be like Now-I-Try-To-Accept-Others
All disjointed and stuff, I dunno : D
On the internet if you disagree with or dislike something you're angry and taking it too seriously. == Join TLMafia !
GaNgStaRR.ElV
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada535 Posts
May 20 2013 14:01 GMT
#13
More expression in your voice, less monotone, I mean you sound depressed but not in an Eminem, "angry at the world" kind of way, more like a "i dont want my neighbours, friends or even myself to hear me" kind of way.

Confidence is key, the rest can be worked on slowly.

Now for some shameless self-promotion, which I believed I earned by somehow sitting through all 5 tracks...
https://soundcloud.com/eastmanmusic
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32122 Posts
May 20 2013 14:14 GMT
#14
On May 20 2013 20:01 ninazerg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 20 2013 19:54 dRaW wrote:
On May 20 2013 19:51 ninazerg wrote:
You make me yawn.
I stayed up till dawn.
I just ate a fawn.
This is chess, you a pawn.
Mow my lawn.
You wanna step, you gonna be gone.
I smacked Vince Vaughn.



HIP HOP
DONT DROP
THE SOAP
YOU OAF
TIC TAC TOE
DONT YOU KNOW
YOU A HOE


YO I LIVE IN PAREE, CITY L'AMOUR
SO GET READY FOR WAR AT YOUR DOOR
I AM FRENCH LIKE ALANIS MORRISETTE
I LIKE COFFEE AND EAT A BAGETTE
PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
YO COME TO MARSEILLES
WE SMOKE CIGARETTE CUZ YOU GAY
JE VAIS BIEN, ET VOUS?
YOU BABY SCREAM WAH WAH WAH, TAIS-TOI.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahah
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
virpi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Germany3599 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 15:34:58
May 20 2013 15:33 GMT
#15
are u serious? the production of the tracks is terrible. did you use your headset to record? your voice is too monotone, stuff needs to burn, YOU need to burn. you want people to feel your music, you don't want to tranquillize them.
and work on your technique, you're not really flowing.

you've got a long a way to go. first step: buy a good microphone. second step: learn how to record your voice in a more appealing way. third (and most important step): practice your ass off.
first we make expand, then we defense it.
GaNgStaRR.ElV
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada535 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 16:08:20
May 20 2013 16:07 GMT
#16
On May 21 2013 00:33 virpi wrote:
are u serious? the production of the tracks is terrible. did you use your headset to record? your voice is too monotone, stuff needs to burn, YOU need to burn. you want people to feel your music, you don't want to tranquillize them.
and work on your technique, you're not really flowing.

you've got a long a way to go. first step: buy a good microphone. second step: learn how to record your voice in a more appealing way. third (and most important step): practice your ass off.



I wouldn't invest in any gear until you can get to a stage where you can rap for people without feeling embarassed/sounding like your making a joke of it. The audio quality is definately not the biggest turn off here.

The vocals are clear enough for this level of stuff.

And why you on trap beats?
Jealous
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
10276 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 17:05:24
May 20 2013 16:58 GMT
#17
Your voice sounds like it's too far "above" the music, and not mixed in well. Also I think maybe your mic/recording quality needs to climb before anyone would buy this music. Your current mic registers the impact of your words as a >pumf< sound almost, like it was too close to your mouth and with no screen. Might be my speakers but others have agreed with me so I think that I'm probably not imagining it.

The former statements of you being too monotone are accurate. You need more inflection, more passion - you sound half-asleep and that is not a good way to get people to listen up and actually pay attention to what you're saying, just like in real life. Your first track in particular should be a lot more lively, a lot more "GET THE FUCK UP."

Unlike some of the other people in this thread, I like the beats you have chosen for this. They should be easy to work off of and establish the energy I mentioned above.

Good luck! You're on the right track. I've known countless rappers who had delivery and talent but no drive or commitment. You clearly have this final aspect - the rest will come with time, practice, and equipment.

On May 20 2013 23:01 GaNgStaRR.ElV wrote:
More expression in your voice, less monotone, I mean you sound depressed but not in an Eminem, "angry at the world" kind of way, more like a "i dont want my neighbours, friends or even myself to hear me" kind of way.

Confidence is key, the rest can be worked on slowly.

Now for some shameless self-promotion, which I believed I earned by somehow sitting through all 5 tracks...
https://soundcloud.com/eastmanmusic


This is pretty nice, I like it! In a few moments it feels like you might have a little too much going on, but you transitions are often fresh. In some tracks (TouchMyFlow in particular) your progression of transitions is a little too linear (as in, it goes the same amount of bars before every layer gets added/removed almost every time), although I have heard many other DJs do this and it might be the right way to go about it? Idk, just my opinion. I guess I do like more cacophonous techno so perhaps its just subjective. like OnFire, which is my favorite of yours so far (haven't listened to ALL of them, ~10).

Definitely like your choice of sounds.
"The right to vote is only the oar of the slaveship, I wanna be free." -- бум бум сучка!
Capped
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom7236 Posts
May 20 2013 17:01 GMT
#18
No replies. I think you upset him.
Useless wet fish.
GaNgStaRR.ElV
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada535 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 19:45:31
May 20 2013 19:44 GMT
#19
On May 21 2013 01:58 Jealous wrote:
Your voice sounds like it's too far "above" the music, and not mixed in well. Also I think maybe your mic/recording quality needs to climb before anyone would buy this music. Your current mic registers the impact of your words as a >pumf< sound almost, like it was too close to your mouth and with no screen. Might be my speakers but others have agreed with me so I think that I'm probably not imagining it.

The former statements of you being too monotone are accurate. You need more inflection, more passion - you sound half-asleep and that is not a good way to get people to listen up and actually pay attention to what you're saying, just like in real life. Your first track in particular should be a lot more lively, a lot more "GET THE FUCK UP."

Unlike some of the other people in this thread, I like the beats you have chosen for this. They should be easy to work off of and establish the energy I mentioned above.

Good luck! You're on the right track. I've known countless rappers who had delivery and talent but no drive or commitment. You clearly have this final aspect - the rest will come with time, practice, and equipment.

Show nested quote +
On May 20 2013 23:01 GaNgStaRR.ElV wrote:
More expression in your voice, less monotone, I mean you sound depressed but not in an Eminem, "angry at the world" kind of way, more like a "i dont want my neighbours, friends or even myself to hear me" kind of way.

Confidence is key, the rest can be worked on slowly.

Now for some shameless self-promotion, which I believed I earned by somehow sitting through all 5 tracks...
https://soundcloud.com/eastmanmusic


This is pretty nice, I like it! In a few moments it feels like you might have a little too much going on, but you transitions are often fresh. In some tracks (TouchMyFlow in particular) your progression of transitions is a little too linear (as in, it goes the same amount of bars before every layer gets added/removed almost every time), although I have heard many other DJs do this and it might be the right way to go about it? Idk, just my opinion. I guess I do like more cacophonous techno so perhaps its just subjective. like OnFire, which is my favorite of yours so far (haven't listened to ALL of them, ~10).

Definitely like your choice of sounds.


Your opinion is correct that song is usually a 8bar transition and a lot of them have similar styles of composition and layering. It's just easier for those kind of tracks when your trying to shop them to artists, to have the changes occur on a meter-scale that is easily recognisable and predictable; although I need to start producing more electronica/abstract pieces...what can I say though sometimes the oldest trick in the book is the best haha

Also based off what you said, OP should practice moving the mic farther away from mouth, if it's a headset mic make sure to get one of the little fluffy covers for it, it's the next best thing to a proper popscreen(vocal recording 101, sound of breath-wind making contact with mic=bad).

I'm thinking the OP should look into proper gain-staging as well. It seems to me as if possibly your issues come from the fact that if you are louder/more expressive with your raps, you may be overloading your mic(I used to be like that when I started to). The trick is you need to find the balance between gain, mic position and voice control where you have the ideal fit between vocal quality, loudness and clarity. Try to turn down your mic via Windows controls or whatever program you use to record, move your mic further away from your mouth and practice basically screaming out your raps like you were drunk at the club and they played your favorite song ever until you find the perfect balance to get a credible rap.


On May 21 2013 02:01 Capped wrote:
No replies. I think you upset him.


Well, seeing how the OP started with "Starting my Rap Career, would you buy my music" and being a complete amateur, kind of set himself up for a letdown no?
PanN
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2828 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 20:07:59
May 20 2013 20:07 GMT
#20
You need the power of soul.

+ Show Spoiler +


You can have the best lyrics and won't get that far if you've got no soul behind it. You can have the worst lyrics with a lot of soul and be successful. You created all this music, throw more passion into your voice and make the listener know what you're saying is important to you, and means something to you.
We have multiple brackets generated in advance. Relax . (Kennigit) I just simply do not understand how it can be the time to play can be 22nd at 9:30 pm PST / midnight the 23rd at the same time. (GGzerg)
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
LiuLi Cup
11:00
2025 Grand Finals Playoffs
Maru vs SerralLIVE!
RotterdaM3030
ComeBackTV 1673
PiGStarcraft1172
IndyStarCraft 478
BRAT_OK 316
Rex294
3DClanTV 110
IntoTheiNu 61
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
RotterdaM 3030
PiGStarcraft1172
IndyStarCraft 478
BRAT_OK 316
Rex 294
EmSc Tv 1
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 27243
Rain 3986
Sea 2189
Stork 539
Shuttle 526
firebathero 231
Last 114
Sharp 109
ggaemo 106
Hyun 91
[ Show more ]
Bonyth 80
Backho 61
Yoon 41
soO 31
ToSsGirL 31
Rock 26
sSak 25
JulyZerg 24
HiyA 22
IntoTheRainbow 22
zelot 15
yabsab 14
Terrorterran 13
GoRush 12
Shine 11
NaDa 9
Noble 7
ivOry 6
SilentControl 6
Dota 2
Gorgc4820
singsing3535
Dendi985
XcaliburYe208
Counter-Strike
fl0m5163
byalli169
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King134
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor636
Liquid`Hasu340
MindelVK10
Other Games
Liquid`RaSZi1560
B2W.Neo1172
Mlord536
KnowMe157
Hui .123
Organizations
Counter-Strike
PGL46527
Other Games
EGCTV1438
StarCraft 2
EmSc Tv 1
EmSc2Tv 1
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH200
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• Michael_bg 15
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Nemesis5667
• TFBlade467
Upcoming Events
Ladder Legends
1h 47m
Replay Cast
7h 47m
Replay Cast
16h 47m
Wardi Open
19h 47m
Monday Night Weeklies
1d
OSC
1d 7h
WardiTV Winter Champion…
1d 19h
PiGosaur Cup
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
WardiTV Winter Champion…
2 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
3 days
PiG Sty Festival
3 days
The PondCast
3 days
KCM Race Survival
3 days
WardiTV Winter Champion…
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
PiG Sty Festival
4 days
Epic.LAN
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
PiG Sty Festival
5 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
Epic.LAN
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
PiG Sty Festival
6 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-02-14
Rongyi Cup S3
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: King of Kings
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 1st Round
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 1st Round Qualifier
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round Qualifier
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
RSL Revival: Season 4
WardiTV Winter 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
FISSURE Playground #3
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.