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"Relationship wise, being with you made me realise that I'm not a relationship sort of girl. I am like a stock in the market- sometimes overpriced, sometimes under priced, sometimes over speculated, confused, unsure and stagnant, but always temporary."
A brief summary of events that have passed. My ex and I, we went out a few times again. Supposedly our 'last time's together. We went out for our 'secret valentines' date, something she promised me ages ago, when she chose to be with someone else on the 14th of February. It was terrible, she came late, and all my plans went to dust. I was really angry and I didn't talk to her for 2 hours straight. She told me that from now on Friday nights are our outing nights. But alas Friday comes and she fucked me over. I can't take it anymore and I told her I want her out of my life, take everything and get the fuck out of my life. Drunk, jaded, and depressed, I sent her a text on Saturday night. It went something like this.
Its sad that things had to turn out this way. You look like the person that I fell in love with, but you share nothing in common with her; you're a totally different person from that girl I knew a year ago. The girl which I fell in love with valued our time together over everything. The girl which I fell in love only needed the comfort of my arms and presence. When I first met you, you were this silly little girl who idolized Paris Hilton and believed that men are nothing more than ways to acquire designer handbags, shoes and sex. When we fell in love, you became this selfless little girl who decided that life is more than shoes and handbags, and love is above all. I remember the times when I'd make fun of your petite frame (you thought that petite means fat), and you'd tell me this, with such defiance, "I may be small but I can do big things!"
What happened to that girl, where did she go. Now the only thing you care about is money, work and alcohol. In a way I feel responsible for you, that I fucked you up in some way. A year ago, upon meeting you, the first thing I'd always notice, is the little jingling sounds that come from your charms, and the necklaces that you were. The first word that comes to my mind whenever I think of you, was loyalty. Now, the first word that comes to my mind is slut and whore. This thing we have, this love-hate, fuck buddy thing, it's killing me slowly inside. I hate how you keep hiding parts of your life from me, how you always lie to me, and ignore me at your convenience. Sure there are a lot of things that you do now that I don't agree with, but it hurts me more when you lie, because I can tell when you do.
There was this one time she took out $4000 pounds from her wallet. I knew very well who gave it to her. The horse dentist. Did he actually give you that money? Yes. I use the money to play poker. I also know that you frequently gamble sums close to $800 in horse racing. I don't agree with that, but it sure beats lying to me.
Every time you 'disappear' every night, I get nightmares of you sleeping around with other men, and now I know that its not an unfounded fear, for better or for worse. I know that you're going to houses of men I never knew existed in your life and you refuse to tell me about it, probably because I wouldn't agree with that either. Its sad that our once beautiful memories had to be perverted and twisted like this. What went wrong. I've never once gave up on us, its sad that you don't feel the same. Maybe everyone is right, maybe its all in my head. Maybe this really was just puppy love, infatuation. Maybe I just wanted to believe it was more. Maybe we were never really in love.
I miss you dear, I miss you so much. I don't have the energy to continue this anymore. It's just hurting me more and more. I leave this part of my life bitter, hurtful, angry and confused. You were all that I knew. I was given everything that I wanted, and it was violently taken away from me. I love you so much. I'm giving you back everything, all your stuff, our stuff, because I hope that one day it will remind you why you chose me over whatever you were doing before. I love you so much, and I hope you haven't given up on me, Good bye.
Her response
She replied me with some bullshit tl;dr statement about how she loves work and it is so fulfilling. I outed her previously for turning her work into an escape. She works 7 days a week, sometimes the whole day with absolutely no break, not for lunch or anything. She feels respected and acknowledged at work whereas her family treats her like crap so she needs to explore.
Later, she went on to say that she doesn't want to talk to me because she feels that I want more than a lasting friendship, which is also obviously horseshit because a few weeks ago she admitted that she could not see more as anything more than a suitor. People who are friends don't treat each other like that.
She claims feels she's forced to kiss me and be intimate with me even though she doesn't want to, which also, is more steaming bullshit, because well when you lie to someone for 5 months that you don't have any feelings anymore, and come out to admit that you've actually always had feelings for the person, you've kind fucked up that lie and you can't re-use it anymore. Also posting in your blog that you still have feelings for me doesn't help your lie either. I takes two lips to kiss and two people to fuck, so fuck you. It's cute how she tries to externalize her guilt for cheating on the other guy on me, its all on me, I seduced the poor helpless girl who only wanted to be loyal.
I feel like I've wasted 6 months of my life, of my youth chasing this bipolar imbecile of a girl. I dedicated everything into getting her back. She actually does have bipolar disorder by the way. I guess she meant a lot to me because for a point in my life she was the only stable female figure, what with my psycho-bitch mother and previous relationship with some lesbian girl who was into Christianity and wanted to prove to society that she was holy. Sigh, is it really that much to ask for a stable, simple, constructive relationship.
Tomorrow she's coming over to my place to take all her shit and leave. There is nothing here for me, and no man needs nothing. Time to fucking fix my life.
The good times:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/vWFVSog.jpg)
  
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Damn.. Seems like shit hit the fan. I had a similar experience as you have.
In any case, your right about what your saying and it seems that you already know whats the best to do from this point on. That is to forget her and move on and try to waste as little time as possible. Seems like she already stated that she doesn't have your point of view, and by the time she realizes it she's probably too late anyway.
Best cure is to find another girl. In a place like Singapore you won't have lack of nice girls 
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On March 17 2013 23:15 ruiyang wrote:Damn.. Seems like shit hit the fan. I had a similar experience as you have. In any case, your right about what your saying and it seems that you already know whats the best to do from this point on. That is to forget her and move on and try to waste as little time as possible. Seems like she already stated that she doesn't have your point of view, and by the time she realizes it she's probably too late anyway. Best cure is to find another girl. In a place like Singapore you won't have lack of nice girls
Thanks man  You live here?
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On March 18 2013 01:51 lisward wrote:Show nested quote +On March 17 2013 23:15 ruiyang wrote:Damn.. Seems like shit hit the fan. I had a similar experience as you have. In any case, your right about what your saying and it seems that you already know whats the best to do from this point on. That is to forget her and move on and try to waste as little time as possible. Seems like she already stated that she doesn't have your point of view, and by the time she realizes it she's probably too late anyway. Best cure is to find another girl. In a place like Singapore you won't have lack of nice girls Thanks man You live here?
Im european with chinese parents. Currently live in Chengdu-China, so I know what Asian girls are like (Prada bag hungry).
Have many mei-nyu friends from sing. heheh
I've been in a complete mess due to some Chinese girl for ±2 years. So don't follow me in those steps.. Btw, it started to really escalate with me giving her stuff back and demanding mine back XD.
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On March 18 2013 02:02 ruiyang wrote:Show nested quote +On March 18 2013 01:51 lisward wrote:On March 17 2013 23:15 ruiyang wrote:Damn.. Seems like shit hit the fan. I had a similar experience as you have. In any case, your right about what your saying and it seems that you already know whats the best to do from this point on. That is to forget her and move on and try to waste as little time as possible. Seems like she already stated that she doesn't have your point of view, and by the time she realizes it she's probably too late anyway. Best cure is to find another girl. In a place like Singapore you won't have lack of nice girls Thanks man You live here? Im european with chinese parents. Currently live in Chengdu-China, so I know what Asian girls are like (Prada bag hungry). Have many mei-nyu friends from sing. heheh I've been in a complete mess due to some Chinese girl for ±2 years. So don't follow me in those steps.. Btw, it started to really escalate with me giving her stuff back and demanding mine back XD.
Not a chinese girl though ahha, Malay xD
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I hope you really stick through this and cut her out completely. I was expecting another train wreck of a blog but at least you've finally realised it yourself (even if it took you 6 months). Better late than never.
Sigh, is it really that much to ask for a stable, simple, constructive relationship.
If all your relationships are complicated, filled with drama and craziness, the common denominator is *you*. You let those people into your life, you fall in love with them. You have to figure out yourself what exactly brings them into your life and you have to change yourself for the better. An easy one I can tell you is your own lack of boundaries. You let this girl use you and abuse you for too long. Develop some self respect man.
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On March 18 2013 12:01 FractalsOnFire wrote:I hope you really stick through this and cut her out completely. I was expecting another train wreck of a blog but at least you've finally realised it yourself (even if it took you 6 months). Better late than never. Show nested quote +Sigh, is it really that much to ask for a stable, simple, constructive relationship. If all your relationships are complicated, filled with drama and craziness, the common denominator is *you*. You let those people into your life, you fall in love with them. You have to figure out yourself what exactly brings them into your life and you have to change yourself for the better. An easy one I can tell you is your own lack of boundaries. You let this girl use you and abuse you for too long. Develop some self respect man.
Thanks man, food for thought
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It sucks when you always attract the same type of girl, that in the end is no good for you.
On March 18 2013 15:12 Aerisky wrote:Damn dude  I knew the horse dentist dude sounded familiar, clicked your blogs and it all came back to me. Seems like you've realized that you need to cut her off and keep her off of your mind. It might take a while, but you'll move on dude, best of luck. What FractalsOnFire said, basically >.<
OMG i just remembered that, it didn't click until just now. I'm sorry OP, good luck with moving on and i hope you meet someone that you deserve to be with.
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Damn dude I knew the horse dentist dude sounded familiar, clicked your blogs and it all came back to me.
Seems like you've realized that you need to cut her off and keep her off of your mind. It might take a while, but you'll move on dude, best of luck. What FractalsOnFire said, basically >.<
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On March 18 2013 14:55 MysteryMeat1 wrote:It sucks when you always attract the same type of girl, that in the end is no good for you. Show nested quote +On March 18 2013 15:12 Aerisky wrote:Damn dude I knew the horse dentist dude sounded familiar, clicked your blogs and it all came back to me. Seems like you've realized that you need to cut her off and keep her off of your mind. It might take a while, but you'll move on dude, best of luck. What FractalsOnFire said, basically >.< OMG i just remembered that, it didn't click until just now. I'm sorry OP, good luck with moving on and i hope you meet someone that you deserve to be with.
Like when I first got together with her, the only reason that I liked her, wasn't cause of her brilliance, or beautiful looks, or whatever, she was just a simple bubbly girl who gave me her love, now it's all like WHY DON'T YOU DO THIS FOR ME, OTHER GUYS DO IT. So fuck her.
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On March 18 2013 12:01 FractalsOnFire wrote:I hope you really stick through this and cut her out completely. I was expecting another train wreck of a blog but at least you've finally realised it yourself (even if it took you 6 months). Better late than never. Show nested quote +Sigh, is it really that much to ask for a stable, simple, constructive relationship. If all your relationships are complicated, filled with drama and craziness, the common denominator is *you*. You let those people into your life, you fall in love with them. You have to figure out yourself what exactly brings them into your life and you have to change yourself for the better. An easy one I can tell you is your own lack of boundaries. You let this girl use you and abuse you for too long. Develop some self respect man.
Well said, and precisely what I was thinking.
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EPT
