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Protoss Psychology

Blogs > Meborg
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Meborg
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands50 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-06 16:19:45
June 17 2011 07:59 GMT
#1
Why do most protoss units look so angry! That's what I ask myself everytime I see impending doom protoss death ball!

I study Psychology myself, and I'm very interested in the research fields of cognitive neuro psychology. This means that I just want to understand how the brain works. Nice and easy!

According to a lot of theories, it's not just genes that decide who and what we are, but it's also our environments. The interaction between genes and environments can explain why identical twins are still not exactly the same!

Anyway, for any being with a conscious mind, I expect them to also have individual differences. And if there's individual differences, it means that some have it better, and some have it worse! Anyone of you ever wanted to be famous? Well some Protoss(ses?) are very famous!

[image loading]


I mean even we know the likes of Zeratul. He's like the stealth Batman of protoss land. Super rich, he knows how to fight evil, and he can blink around! Then we got Artanis. He's the President! But then of the protosses. He flew a Jet Airplane in starcraft Broodwar! Then we also have Tassadar. He also had an aircraft of his own, and he crashed it. But that wasnt enough to kill him, cuz apparently he can still give wise advise from the great beyond! The most famous of all however is Selendis. She did... something... and... is good for marketing sales. Many a people have 1000 protoss team wins because of her! Just to get that picture that even Playboy could not have!

And then there's... Bob... noone knows him, and he dies 46 times every game. Poor Bob... I always wonder what the small grunts are thinking. I know that for zerg it doesnt really matter, but I bet that zerglings just want a hug. They got big claws however, so whenever they hug someoneone it's going to hurt! They're just misunderstood. Protoss however are supposed to be able to think by themselves.

And there's my question: Why are they so angry! Protoss units never look like they're happy, not even the ones playing Aiur Chef! That's why I started to think up some reasons, and came to some conclusions.

First of all, Protoss have psy-blades attached to their arms. They never wanted this, because it's very annoying to have light sabers attached to your arms all the time. They're cumbersome, and if you move your arms in the wrong way, you're going to chop off some bodyparts that you'd rather keep!

In the past, when Protoss still had mouths, They also had Psy-Blades. Protoss had the best food recipies in the world, and they were just cooking all day long. Stick your psyblade in a bowl of butter and drag it across the toast! And they were so good at chopping vegetables! But then it happened. They wanted to eat their food, which resulted in half of the protoss accidentially sticking a blade through their own head! This was so horrible that all remaining Protoss decided to sow their mouths shut. So they could never accidentially stick food and psy-blades up their mouth!

But here the problems began. All protoss got so hungry. They could look at food all day long, but if you can't eat, you get grumpy! Aiur Chef suddenly became a violent game, but this was not enough to satiate the empty stomachs of Protoss. They distracted themselves with burning other planets, and killing everything that could be food. If they'd destroy all the food in the world, noone would remember that there was food, and then hunger might be forgotten as well!

This however did not work. It simply resulted in some protoss being very good at teleportation and blink, and thus being able to put their stomachs around food. These protoss became very happy again, but not the ones without blinking abilities! Bob and all other zealots know that someday all blinkers might die, because they'll accidentially blink themselves into a psy-blade. They all hope for that day, because they are an angry lot. And who wouldnt agree! I'd be angry if I couldnt eat!

Not every protoss is angry though, some are just depressed. And that I can understand as well. Because they can't eat food, and there's always the chance that they accidentially psy-blade themselves, some protossses just get on with it and desert. On the way they found a xel-naga who didnt mind to merge them with zerg. And zerg CAN eat! However, not every protoss has the cunning to leave the ranks of Aiur, so they are also jealeous all day long...

But dear protoss, you shouldnt be angry all the time! I bet that some day you can find a loving wife who will cook you the most amazing dinner! Then you can remove the stiches that closed your mouth, and she can feed you! But to find a loving wife. you have to be yourself. Because if you zealots can't love yourself, how can the world love you?

I wish you good luck in the future, and please stop burning worlds!

[image loading]

This zealot is thinking: "I can't eat food, and I can't play starcraft either... My life sucks!"



****
DisaFear
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia4074 Posts
June 17 2011 08:14 GMT
#2
lol, random picture
Poor Bob dieing 46 times
How devious | http://anartisticanswer.blogspot.com.au/
RogerX
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
New Zealand3180 Posts
June 17 2011 08:27 GMT
#3
Hahahahahaha this made me laugh so much, made my day 5/5
Stick it up. take it up. step aside and see the world
Renzin
Profile Joined March 2011
Australia75 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-17 08:51:30
June 17 2011 08:51 GMT
#4
Haha nice explanations There's also the fact that most of them got wiped out and goodbye homeworld and whatnot but that's clearly not as interesting as your points OP XD
Meborg
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands50 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-17 10:24:45
June 17 2011 10:23 GMT
#5
I do not believe that they "got" wiped out from their homeworld. Tassadar simply got into an argument with the overmind on who was hotter. Selendis or Kerrigan? In the end, they just brawled, and Tassadar was like "yo, Ima just gonna crash my airplane into your brain!", which ended most of the fighting.

However, when the overmind died, all zerg units didnt feel loved anymore, and they just wanted to hug the protoss. The protoss however, being angry and having psy-blades attached to their arms, killed a lot of zerg when trying to hug the zerg back. This made the zerg want to prove even more that love is the correct way, and started to group hug the protoss even more.

But do you know what you do when something flies at your face? You get a reflex to cover your face! When that happens for protoss however, they lobotomize half of their head with their psy-blades. And brain injury has a habit of resulting in death! Protoss should learn how to love more imo, so that they can accept others to help them!
vijeze
Profile Joined February 2011
Netherlands719 Posts
June 17 2011 10:39 GMT
#6
I loved it, haha. Made me day so much better!
Thanks
Liquid`HayprO
Profile Joined March 2003
Iraq1230 Posts
June 17 2011 12:28 GMT
#7
hahah loved it protoss is obviously the most skilled-difficult race to play i respect all protoss players way more then any other race
Team LiquidOur friendship will be the stuff of legend.
L3g3nd_
Profile Joined July 2010
New Zealand10461 Posts
June 17 2011 12:48 GMT
#8
On June 17 2011 21:28 Liquid`HayprO wrote:
hahah loved it protoss is obviously the most skilled-difficult race to play i respect all protoss players way more then any other race

lol huk
https://twitter.com/#!/IrisAnother
Mythal
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Spain108 Posts
June 17 2011 12:51 GMT
#9
Great post man! :D

On June 17 2011 16:59 Meborg wrote:
And then there's... Bob... noone knows him, and he dies 46 times every game. Poor Bob... I always wonder what the small grunts are thinking. I know that for zerg it doesnt really matter, but I bet that zerglings just want a hug. They got big claws however, so whenever they hug someoneone it's going to hurt! They're just misunderstood. Protoss however are supposed to be able to think by themselves.


This paragraph was hilarious XD, poor Bob..
"I wanna read the diary not smoke it!"
WightyCity
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada887 Posts
June 18 2011 22:45 GMT
#10
bob is awsome
90% watching it 8% talking about it and 2% playing it - sc2
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
June 19 2011 23:46 GMT
#11
Poor guys, no-one wants a psy-blade upside the head.
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
mordek
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States12705 Posts
June 20 2011 21:49 GMT
#12
The depth of insight is great. Really opened my eyes to the Protoss psyche.
It is vanity to love what passes quickly and not to look ahead where eternal joy abides. Tiberius77 | Mordek #1881 "I took a mint!"
Meborg
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands50 Posts
July 06 2011 16:20 GMT
#13
Zealots can't play starcraft either Their quality of life is even worse than I initially anticipated..
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