EPT OMG IM A MUTALISK
Today was a normal day for me, Pandain the panda. I ate bamboo, climbed a tree, and napped. But most importantly, I played Starcraft. And this day the gods weren't smiling on the pandas. Despite my highly nutritious bamboo diet I just couldn't beat the toss 200/200 army, and sad to say ragequit several of those games. Just last game Pandain the Panda(who changes between first and third person in referring to himself), had been cannon rushed and then 4 gated. So Pandain decided he'd play one more game.
And this is his story.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/Pr9sN.jpg)
This is the hero, Pandain the panda.
PvZ.Close positions. Panda was sad when his overlord scouted the close air position, as it meant that there was a 50% chance there would be close positions, and close positions often resulted in death for the Pandain. So he went his normal 15 pool(as pandas like pools), and started to macro up. Then he decided to send an ambassador to meet with the strange people he knew inhabited this ancient city.
PvZ.Close positions. Panda was sad when his overlord scouted the close air position, as it meant that there was a 50% chance there would be close positions, and close positions often resulted in death for the Pandain. So he went his normal 15 pool(as pandas like pools), and started to macro up. Then he decided to send an ambassador to meet with the strange people he knew inhabited this ancient city.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/r9Rvc.jpg)
Pandain thought this meant his cannon rush would fail. He was wrong.
Turns out it was the panda poachers again! He often met these vile people, and they ended up killing him alot! When Panda saw how close he was, he had to put his heart back in when it exploded from his body. Panda knew at least as long as he patrolled his ramp for those panda poachers they couldn't cannon rush him.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/BEM8D.jpg)
O_O
There they were! They were trying to steal his prized real estate, which meant Pandain couldn't use that valuable land for his own panda race. Pandain had to stop that! So he summoned all the pandas, and stuffed them into three tentacle thingies which would launch a bunch of glued-together pandas into the cannons. Eventually, the pandas would bash the cannon so much it would die!
But Pandain was sweating. This was a totally new situation. Sure, the panda poachers had invesed alot of money in buying that prized real estate, but he had to strike the source of the panda poachers. So he sent 4 pandas to go and attack them, and then he reinforced. Being the Master Leaguer he was, he
But as Pandain skipped happily in the Panda poacher base, munching on the panda poachers(Nom nom nom nom) as he saw them, he realized those drones were useless. Or were they?
Suddenly the previous games sprung to mind. His inability to deal with the late game protoss death army infuriated him. The Cannon rush, the 4 gate, the void ray rush, all sprung to mind. And Pandain knew there was only one thing to do.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/bzPz8.jpg)
That's right. It's panda time
Pandain brought a whole bunch of trees and planted a bamboo forset! It grew and grew until moss sprung everywhere. And where moss springs, bamboo grows. And where bamboo grows, so do pandas. So the pandas that sprung from there he immediately put to work, building more glued-panda devices to attack the panda poachers.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/PG5Et.jpg)
Yes, this is how we do it.
Pandain was proud of his result. The Panda Poachers laid slain, beaten and humiliated. And now Pandain could record his adventures in the TeamLiquid Book, for all to share. And then Pandain went to sleep, in the magical bamboo garden, where lollipops spring from rainbows and rainbows are the home of leprechauns.
And Pandain was truly a happy panda.
THE END
+ Show Spoiler +
In memory of the 13 pandas that were slain in this heroic effort.
