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Active: 14291 users

C&C: Nigerian Wars (Part 3)

Blogs > 419
Post a Reply
419
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Russian Federation3631 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 08:59:13
January 28 2011 08:58 GMT
#1
I THINK THAT YOU ARE HUMAN BEING NOT KNOWN THAT YOU ARE A BIG FOOL.
-Ben Azu4ka

More baiting. This gold scammer still has no idea what he's gotten into...

Part 1: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=185133
Part 2: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=186650

There’s a lot to read. Consider yourself warned. That said, this is a bit shorter than usual.

When we last left off, Ben Azu4ka had cut off all communication with both the GDI and Nod (Boston) representatives. Turns out he’s been busy talking to Ms. Beaver (the adult actress/director played by my co-baiter) who has traveled to a (non-existent) vacation resort located a convenient 200-ish miles from Lagos. Unfortunately, Azu4ka never made the trip, and Beaver has been seduced by the resort hosts/tour guides.

This has led to some hilarious exchanges, which are unfortunately NSFW.

Also, he's been communicating with the Norwegian branch of Nod, and has been conned convinced into joining the Brotherhood. One of his application pages follows:

[image loading]

Now that he’s joined Nod, he can get his money via Western Union/Moneygram. Indeed, a clerk from Nod Norway has been dispatched to send the money.

And this is where our intrepid scammer’s troubles begin anew:

Michael McNeil wrote:
To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Michael McNeil
Subject:
Body:
By the way, one of our agents in Scandinavia has arrested a Nod operative.

He was carrying a large amount of cash in a briefcase, and on a small note were written the names:

Julius Nwazuo
Dele Ojo
Frank Morgan

All of them residing in West Africa. Might you know anything about these people?

Michael McNeil, Cpt.
GDI Central
Philadelphia, PA

---------------------

Ben Azu4ka wrote:
To: Michael McNeil
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Dear Michael McNeil,

I don't know what you are talking about, You said that you are with the funds from the NOD which was sent to me and you will released to me once i signed your FORM.

Now i repeat this to you, If you will not wire the 70% i told you of, PLEASE CLOSED this and don't ever send any more email to me. and i will not reply any from you again, PLEASE NOTE THIS.

Thanks and Goodbye.

Mr.

---------------------

Michael McNeil wrote:
To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Michael McNeil
Subject:
Body:
Mr. Azu4ka,

You signed an agreement, one that binds you to cooperate with us. Only in return for good information about Nod contacts will we return your intercepted funds.

And don't think you're invaluable to us. I'm hearing reports that the Svalbard has been raided, and that Col. Finocchio has been killed, though that's still unconfirmed. Off information we got from another informant, I might add.

In any case, all we care about is your correspondence with Ms. Kilian Qatar now. Please send us a summary of your dealings with her.

Have a nice day,
Michael McNeil, Cpt.
GDI Central
Philadelphia, PA

This marks the end of Ben Azu4ka's correspondence with Mr. McNeil. But the games are only getting started. In revenge for the killing of Puppo, the Brotherhood of Nod has assassinated Michael McNeil. A ZOCOM operative has sent this offer to Azu4ka:
---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
Ben, Beu, Azu4ka, Aznaka, whatever,

By now you've heard of the death of Cpt. McNeil. Perhaps you've also heard of the $750,000 reward being offered to bring his killers to justice. I'm the general at ZOCOM, the special ops branch of GDI. We know exactly who ordered McNeil's assassination, and we have an offer for you. Listen carefully. Prior to McNeil's disappearance, the GDI satellite network detected a large burst packet communication originating from Nod cell TEAPARTY.

Boston.

Kilian Qatar.

Now you know why we're interested. But we can't neutralize her, not just yet. You see, Cpt. McNeil wasn't attacked by your regular Nod operative. He was attacked by the fruits of 5 years of Nod genetic engineering research. 'Supernatural beings' in some's minds, known pleasantly to us as Vamps. We have narrowed down the location of Kilian's VAMP operation to Detroit. But where? We don't know. Northern Detroit is all but abandoned, we suspect that's where the genetic engineering laboratories reside.

Now, pulling her file, we realized that you have been communicating with her for a while about buying tiberium. Keep her hooked. Then offer to sell her either ectoplasm or ionized lithium (two things that can bring vamps out of suspended animation). All you have to do is string her along until she gives you a shipping location. Then one of our operatives will implant a bug into one of the supply trucks that broadcasts a 245.5 Hz supraluminal signal. If we can get a GPS fix on the nest, we can arrest her, and destroy Nod's scientific plans for half a decade.

I'm not interested in the money. The day Qatar goes down, you get all the three-quarter million dollars. I just have some personal history with the bitch--I want to see Qatar arrested, or dead. Either is fine.

Let me know if you're interested.

A few days pass. I try another angle.
---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:


I guess you're not interested in selling out Qatar. No matter. Another person has accepted the job. We'll get her in due time.

Well, in any case, I thought you'd be interested in the bounties on the following Nod heads:

- Abbess Kovacs - $250,000
- Marcion Black - $150,000
- Oxanna Cristos - $50,000
- 'Tacitus' - $100,000
- 'Ajay' (callsign) - $200,000
- Butsukake Noyonaichi - $30,000

If you're interested in giving out information on their whereabouts, I'm definitely interested.

--
Buffy Summers
Director, Slayer Organization, ZOCOM, GDI

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Sir, Buffy Summers

I will be interested in the fellowings

.- 'Tacitus' - $100,000
- 'Ajay' (callsign) - $200,000
- Butsukake Noyonaichi - $30,000.

Please before any thing will be done, i need part payment so that i will sell them to you without delay.

If you ok with that, sir contant me, But without the part payment on those heads, Please STOP writing me on this matter.

Thanks,

Mr. Benard.

Cha-ching.
---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
Holy shit, I'm definitely interested.

Part payment? Would 10% be acceptable?

In any case, I'm really curious to see what sort of information you have on these three villains.

Buffy

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Sir, Buffy Summers,

I got your mail, 10% is not ok for me, If you are interested on those heads, 35% is what i needed from you. Anything less than that i am not interested and its better you stop mailing.

Regards.

Ben.

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
In order for me to justify 35% I'll need to see some evidence that you have information on these three. One of my best operatives hasn't been able to turn up anything on Ajay so I'm curious to hear what you know.

Let me offer an alternative arrangement: you give up some information on Ms. Noyoinaichi (as Gen. Xander wants her dead for some reason) and I'll pay you 50% on all bounties. Sound good?

Also, please stop calling me Sir. Ma'am or Madam or Buffy will do.

Merry Christmas.

Buffy Summers


---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Madam Buffy,

Please note, Ms. Noyoinaichi who operate in japan, all informations about her is in my hand and other three Nod heads.

If you any informations part payment first or please don't write me any more.

Regards,

Ben.

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
I just came back from my Christmas 'vacation'. Trust me, it wasn't fun. Had to interrogate a Nod operative we arrested in Mexico.

Anyways, I'll get back to you tomorrow.

I've also forwarded our correspondence to GDI Head Director Boyle. I think we'll both agree that you have the potential of being one of the greatest intelligence coups we've had in our conflict with Nod.

Buffy Summers

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
Director Boyle would like to know which of the Japanese cells Noyoinaichi resides in. Tokyo, Okinawa, or the Osaka cell?

If your answer can be verified, he will personally approve your claim on the bounties.

Buffy Summers

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Miss Buffy Summers,

Thanks and for your email and happy new year in advance, Please confirmed the Japanese cells of Noyoinaichi and get back to me. I will not do more than this if i did not get my claims in time. the cell is Okinawa base and her picture is here below. please note that you and GDI must not ask me any more question untill i get the claims in the bounties.

Thanks and regards.

Mr. Ben Azu4ka.


Miss Butsukake Noyonaichi
Okinawa base
The Brotherhood of NOD

[image loading]


---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
We are suiting up a strike team to take them down, and will see whether you are indeed telling the truth.

Will let you know soon what the operation status is though it might be delayed for opsec.

Buffy Summers

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
I have some good news to share.

A ZOCOM-led team strike force consisting of our best Zone Troopers was able to breach the defenses of the Okinawa Nod office. Several senior members of BN-Asia were captured. After intensive interrogation of these leaders, we realized that we are now much closer to launching the attack that will destroy the Brotherhood of Nod once and for all.

Just to give you an idea, in the next 48 hours, we will be taking down or crippling Nod cells in Cairo, New Delhi, Sydney, Moscow, Paris, and Bogota. They will remember this for years...

You have done a great service for humanity, Mr. Azu4ka! Director Boyle and I look forward to listening to what information you have on Tacitus and Ajay.

Buffy Summers


---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Miss Buffy Summers,

Please what about my offer, Dear YOU and Director Boyle should comply on what we have agreed otherwised STOP any further mail to me. Please the requested money to me as agreed.

What i want to hear from you is where to send my money anything less than that i will not reply any other mail to you. PLEASE TAKE NOTE.

Regards,

Mr. Ben Azu4ka.

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
Director Boyle agrees.

Your request to claim the bounty on Ms. Noyoinaichi has been approved, along with 50% advance on the two other bounties, making 180,000 USD.

Is this acceptable?

Buffy


---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Miss Buffy Summers,

Thanks for your mail, Since Director Boyle agrees, Please send the funds to me fast, I am waiting for the money before any other thing will be done.

Are you sending by WESTERN UNION or MONEY GRAM, or TO WIRE IN AN ACCOUNT. PLEASE ADIVCE NOW, So that i will let you know the name or account to wire.

Thanks,

Ben Azu4ka.

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
Miss Buffy Summers,

Thanks for your mail, Since Director Boyle agrees, Please send the funds to me fast, I am waiting for the money before any other thing will be done.

Are you sending by WESTERN UNION or MONEY GRAM, or TO WIRE IN AN ACCOUNT. PLEASE ADIVCE NOW, So that i will let you know the name or account to wire.

Thanks,

Ben Azu4ka.

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Miss Buffy Summers,

Thanks for your mail, because that western union OR money gram will not transfer big funds, So the account below is where you will wire the $180,000.

Please you should do this fast, let go on with the deals.

PLEASE WIRE TO THE BANK BELOW.

BANK NAME: HSBC HONG KONG,
BANK ADDRESS: NO. 1 QUEEN'S ROAD CENTRAL,
HONG KONG,
SWIFT CODE: HSBCHKHHHKH,
ACCOUNT NAME: JUJIL CAPITAL CO.LTD,
ACCOUNT ACCOUNT NO: 015-773070-838.

I waiting for the payment and once its is paid send the payment slip to me by attachement.

Thanks and regards,

Ben Azu4ka.

That's the 4th bank account that I've pried out of him. Reported to the proper authorities.
---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Miss Buffy Summers,

I got your mail, and well understanding but i do received money from this account and just last week i got about $120.000. from this bank and was not be stolen or diverted .

I have not heard before that a transfer will be make and someone will stolen or diverted the funds to another account.and I called my bank and they told me that transfer has never been stolen or diverted, Any funds stolen or diverted is not true, Only Government has the right to STOP transferred funds not stolen or diverted

So wire to the account and send me the payment slip so that all the informations you needed will be forwarded to you without delay.

Thanks,

Mr. Ben Azu4ka.


---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
Mr. Azu4ka,

Again, the transfer will be originating from a bank which Nod may know to hold one of the official GDI accounts. Don't be naive -- Nod's disciples are everywhere. It can be a computer error, or a glitch, or a bribed bank manager. The funds will be diverted if Nod knows that its a GDI transfer.

If you still wish to use the HSBC account, you must do the following, to ensure that we cannot be held liable for your foolish decisions. Please hand-write the following on a piece of paper, and sign it. Note: this release document will not be valid if it is not in hand-writing (this is GDI regulation). Then scan it and send it to me.

****
I, Ben Azu4ka, do hereby express my wish for the GDI to transfer the sum of one hundred eighty thousand dollars to the following account:

BANK NAME: HSBC HONG KONG,
BANK ADDRESS: NO. 1 QUEEN'S ROAD CENTRAL,
HONG KONG,
SWIFT CODE: HSBCHKHHHKH,
ACCOUNT NAME: JUJIL CAPITAL CO.LTD,
ACCOUNT ACCOUNT NO: 015-773070-838.

I understand the risks of this transaction, and that the Global Defense Initiative/ZOCOM will not be held liable should the transfer be intercepted or otherwise fail.

(your signature)
***

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Buffy Summers

I have completed the singing and attached are the paper, I wait for the payment send to me without delay.

Ben. Azu4ka.


*checks attachments*
[image loading]
Everything seems to be in order. Oh wait--

Remember that Azu4ka joined the Brotherhood of Nod? This will bite him in the ass.
---------------------

To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
I have a serious question to ask you.

Think carefully before answering.

Have you, at any time, or currently, been a member of the Brotherhood of Nod organization?

Buffy Summers

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
Please the question to ask me is a stupid one, its is not your busniess to know if i am a member of the NOD or NOT.

You asked for The nod heads and i have give you simple of them and both agreed that you pay me part of the fees before getting the rest one, I have send the account to you, Only you send the said funds and do not contact me for any reason.

If i get any other mail than to pay my funds, don't expect any other from me and i will block your mail to enter my email box.

Please note and stop messing me arround.

Ben Azu4ka.

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
2 weeks ago one of our operatives hacked the Nod's database and we found this. Do you deny that this is your signature on the attached document?

Now, maybe you have a good reason. Maybe Solomon or Mack or Snyder put you up to this and didn't tell me. But the situation is this--only if you show a demonstration of your loyalty to the Global Defense Initiative will I pay you your funds. I don't feel good doing this and denying you what you have earned, but you really should have told me you were a double agent in the Brotherhood or whatever before, and not surprising me...

Buffy

---------------------


To: Buffy Summers
From: Ben Azu4ka
Subject:
Body:
THIS IS MY LAST MAIL TO YOU.


Buffy Summers,

Please STOP ANY mail from YOU TO ME AS FROM today as you are very STUPID. You are the NOD, the GDI, COL. PUPPO, ALL NOD BRANCH.

I THINK THAT YOU ARE HUMAN BEING NOT KNOWN THAT YOU ARE A BIG FOOL.

PLEASE GO TO HEAD HELL FIRE IN JESUS NAME, AMEN.

---------------------


To: Ben Azu4ka
From: Buffy Summers
Subject:
Body:
You can burn in hell, Nod traitor.

We have your picture from your application forms; I have marked you "arrest on sight" for all ZOCOM operatives under my control.

Just know this: you will not elude the fiery end that will befall you and all your scum brothers in Kane.

---------------------
Stay tuned, for the explosive final installment of Nigerian Wars!

In the meantime, thanks for reading!


*****
?
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
January 28 2011 09:34 GMT
#2
LOL! HEAD HELL IN JESUS NAME AMEN!
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
January 28 2011 09:50 GMT
#3
DEPLOY THE MAMMOTH TANKS
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
starfries
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada3508 Posts
January 28 2011 09:50 GMT
#4
hahaha very nice. I'm impressed you managed to keep him going for so long.

These guys seem really gullible... he really thinks his random picture of a Japanese girl led to busting a spy ring? It seems almost like they would fall for their own scams.
DJ – do you like ramen, Savior? Savior – not really. Bisu – I eat it often. Flash – I’m a maniac! | Foxer Fighting!
mustaju
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Estonia4504 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 10:00:12
January 28 2011 09:59 GMT
#5
He's very uncooperative now, but when the Cyborg hitmen finally infiltrate his premises, he will be sorry. GDI will win this day, though.
WriterBrows somewhat high. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndFysO2JunE
Meapak_Ziphh
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States6785 Posts
January 28 2011 10:01 GMT
#6
I'm loving this series :D can't wait for the explosive conclusion.
Forti et Fideli ~ TL Mafia Forum: Come play with us! ~ Go Samsung KHAN, Stork, JangBi , Shine, Grape, and TurN Fighting!~ wat
Linkirvana
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands365 Posts
January 28 2011 11:28 GMT
#7
Would be hilarious to see his reaction if he'd end up getting arrested for scamming people xD

"PLZ NO IM NOT NOD I LOVE GDI PLZZ"

GG mens, if only you could dig up some info on him and "surprise" him with it, cause he doesn't seem even half convinced (Just playing along cause of the infinitely small chance he'll actually get paid)
Murderotica
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Vatican City State2594 Posts
January 28 2011 14:14 GMT
#8
Dude this is awesome
ǝsnoɥ ssɐlƃ ɐ uı sǝuoʇs ʍoɹɥʇ ʇ,uop || sıʇɹoɟ ɹǝdɯǝs
Barundar
Profile Joined May 2010
Denmark1582 Posts
January 28 2011 15:20 GMT
#9
Do homosexuals go to hell? No. Is it right for them? Yes

Lolololol
Bartundar
Shockk
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Germany2269 Posts
January 28 2011 15:57 GMT
#10
This is so incredible. Wow. An even better read than the last one.

Keep it up!
Starparty
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Sweden1963 Posts
January 28 2011 16:19 GMT
#11
i plew through all the episodes, this is fantasticly entertaingin. big thanks for sharing!!
The artist formerly known as Starparty
cascades
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Singapore6122 Posts
January 28 2011 19:37 GMT
#12
Please STOP ANY mail from YOU TO ME AS FROM today as you are very STUPID. You are the NOD, the GDI, COL. PUPPO, ALL NOD BRANCH.

I think he caught on. Boo.
HS: cascades#1595 || LoL: stoppin
419
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Russian Federation3631 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 21:15:52
January 28 2011 21:15 GMT
#13
On January 29 2011 04:37 cascades wrote:
Please STOP ANY mail from YOU TO ME AS FROM today as you are very STUPID. You are the NOD, the GDI, COL. PUPPO, ALL NOD BRANCH.

I think he caught on. Boo.

Oh, believe me, there's a part 4.

I think that he believes that the Nod and GDI exist but he's too lazy/stupid to exploit their enmity wth each other.
?
amd098
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Korea (North)1366 Posts
January 29 2011 09:25 GMT
#14
oh god i lolled thru this, bring out the tanks!
North Korea is best Korea!
419
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Russian Federation3631 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-31 00:08:06
January 30 2011 22:21 GMT
#15
Not exactly relevant but since this is a Starcraft forum, it would be a SIN THING not to try for some BW-related shenanigans. This is a different guy but I think he has potential. He's also very short-tempered too which I might play to my advantage.

Let the games begin:
[image loading]

?
Eben
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States769 Posts
January 30 2011 23:58 GMT
#16
amazing blog. I can't believe how long this guy has gone with it!
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