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Active: 686 users

The Art of Posting, part deux (two) (2)

Blogs > vGl-CoW
Post a Reply
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-05-30 23:03:59
May 30 2007 20:59 GMT
#1
Lo and behold, I have another hour to kill. This means you fat little munchkins get to learn how exactly you're supposed to make Polls.


CHAPTER 2: Polls

The poll is an invaluable tool in the Poster's utility belt. Like the hammer and screwdriver, it can be used to extract useful information out of people, when handled in the right way.
It's handy to quickly quantify TL's opinion on important matters ([H]My Mom Thinks I'm Gay, Think I Should Stop Sucking Dick?) and see just how many idiots there are in this place.

Let's see what can go wrong here!

[spoiler=Part 1]Part 1: Joke Options

We've all seen them, the "Joke Options" in polls. How many times a day do you go to the bathroom? 1, 2 or CHUCK LMAO NORRIS?
If you're actually interested in the poll results, don't ever include one of these because it will always be the most popular option.

[spoiler=The Wrong Approach]
[image loading]

[spoiler] No dice, Pugsley. Sit down.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

As you can see, it'll lead to an inevitable mess. You might never know just how many homophobes reside in the lush TL forests.
Just for good measure, let's take a peek at the right way.

[spoiler=The Right Approach]
[image loading]

Poll: How are you feeling today?
(Vote): Happy
(Vote): Fat
(Vote): Sad
(Vote): Other (please specify)
[/spoiler]

This way, you can gather a precise image of TL's general mood. Whether they're feeling happy, fat or sad (or any other basic emotions I happen to be unaware of), it'll show right there, without anything screwing it up. Marvelous![/spoiler]

[spoiler=Part 2]Part 2: Completeness

This is basically making sure your poll is valid. It's your precious little baby, and you don't want it to miss any limbs (or conversely, go all Elephant Man on you).
Let us take a gander at the wrong way.

[spoiler=The Wrong Approach]
[image loading]

Poll: The Next US President?
(Vote): Hillary Clinton
(Vote): George W. Bush
(Vote): Rudolph Guliani
(Vote): Ralph Nader
[/spoiler]

This poll is bad because it's missing some important candidates (like Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey), Bush can't be re-elected and Guliani is technically not human and thus ineligible.
You'll want to make sure you have an exhaustive list whenever possible (listing all possible options). When you're not sure exactly what those options should be, just ask in the thread first, create a poll based on user responses later!

[spoiler=The Right Approach]
[image loading]

Poll: How old was your grandmother when she died?
(Vote): 15-30
(Vote): 31-50
(Vote): 51-70
(Vote): 71-100
(Vote): 100+
(Vote): Granny ain't dead yet
[/spoiler]

Voila! Beautiful, isn't it? An exhaustive list, with no room for screwing around. Nothing but useful information and answers to life-important questions.[/spoiler]

*pulls belt buckle up a lil' bit* Well folks, that's it for today. Y'all run along now and make some dandy ass polls.
I'm not sure what the next chapter'll be yet, but man, it'll be something.

****
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
GrandInquisitor *
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
New York City13113 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-05-30 21:46:16
May 30 2007 21:45 GMT
#2
doing things like this is fun too:

[image loading]

Poll: Yay or Nay
(Vote): Yay
What fun is it being cool if you can’t wear a sombrero?
GrandInquisitor *
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
New York City13113 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-05-30 21:47:41
May 30 2007 21:47 GMT
#3
Alternatively, fun things like this:


[image loading]

Poll: Are you gay?

(Vote): NO WAI
(Vote): Flamingly so!



What fun is it being cool if you can’t wear a sombrero?
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
May 30 2007 22:02 GMT
#4
i just owned the shit out of both of those

truly i am... the #1 poster
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32274 Posts
May 30 2007 22:13 GMT
#5
[image loading]

Poll: vGl-CoW #1 poster?!?!?!?!
(Vote): YAY!!!
(Vote): NO WEI!!!!!
(Vote): i makes the poo poll

Moderator<:3-/-<
Beyonder
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Netherlands15103 Posts
May 30 2007 22:42 GMT
#6
i was trying to click the polls lol
Moderator
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
May 30 2007 23:05 GMT
#7
actually the first poll is the only one that doesn't work heh
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32274 Posts
May 31 2007 00:22 GMT
#8
hahah Bey i tried the same
Moderator<:3-/-<
Cpt Obvious
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Germany3073 Posts
May 31 2007 00:26 GMT
#9
Beyonder you should read that again.


And yet again. Maybe your future polls will profit from that.

Awesome read btw, nicely done micah.
Nobody ever reads signatures of people like me, do they?
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